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30 October 2006 @ 10:31 pm
Badfic! OMG! Be very, very afraid.  
So, my dearest darlings, for those of you who have begun your halloween drunkenness revels early, the following is intentionally bad, honestly! *g* This is my costume for karaokegal's Come As You're Not Fic Party. It's J&W Mary-Sue songfic, and the rest... well, I don't want to ruin all the fun. *evilgrin*

Much blame credit for this abomination costume fic goes to my co-conspirators rivers_bend, gaffsie (who wrote J/W mpreg for this shindig!), zekkass, maxine_penborne and all the cracked brilliant people over at indeedsir who were responsible for this thread.

Special thanks also to my buddy flufshepherd for creating the perfectly horrid gorgeous icon to go with this!

And, most of all, to my darling ennui_blue_lite, who writes the world's most hilarious MSTs and has MSTd this one for all of your amusement. It is posted here!

Anyone else who in some way "contributed" to this but I've forgotten to mention - I apologize, although you're probably relieved not to be associated with this horror! :D

And now, without further ado, here it is:

Title: A Love without end
Author: Sky Blue Reverie
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Pairing: Jeeves/original female caracter, Bertie/Aunt Agatha non-con impiled
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1900
Summary: Seperated from the love of his life Skwye by her evil father Jeeves goes to serve Bertie. Bertie is being abused by his evil aunt and Skwye has to save both Jeeves and Bertie
Author's Notes: This is not a "slash" fiction, okay. I don't see why people always think Jeeves and Bertie are gay. I mean Bertie is always getting engaged to girls for heavens sake. THEY ARE NOT GAY OKAY?
Disclaimer: The main caracter is NOT based on me shes based on a freind of mine and Berties problem's are serius so if you have those problems please get help okay? Your not alone
Feedback: Only if your not one of those h8ers like the "slashers" are

Layin' here in your arms and you hold me tight, tight
Tryin' not to watch the clock
Tick-tickin' as the time goes by (by)
And I know that you'd best be on your way
But I'm wishing I could make you stay
Stay with me forever

Though... Your near
Still....I wanna make it clear
Love.... I will always be around

Your leaving I'm waiting
Forgive me
I'm always missing you
Before the goodby
I feel it allready
Forgive me
I'm always missing you
Before the goodby

Kind of hard for me to let you know
Seldom let my feeling's show
How much I'll be missing you
All the little things that make me week
Your eyes and the way you speak
Without you baby I'm not me (I'm not me)

Though... Your near
Still....I wanna make it clear
Love.... I will always be around

Your leaving I'm waiting
Forgive me
I'm alway's missing you
Before the goodby
I feel it allready
Forgive me
I'm always missing you
Before the goodby

Your leaving I'm waiting
Forgive me
I'm always missing you
Before the goodby
I feel it allready
Forgive me
I'm always missing you
Before the goodby

Your leaving I'm waiting
Forgive me
I'm always missing you
Before the goodby
I feel it allready
Forgive me
I'm always missing you
Before the goodby

Your leaving I'm waiting
Forgive me
I'm always missing you
Before the goodby

-Britney Spears, "Before the Goodby"

<3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3

Yorkshire Mores, Whales, 1915

"No daddy you cant do this to me!" Skwye Revery, a beautiful auburn-haired 18 year old young welsh woman cried defiently. Her gentle porselain cheeks were stained with cristal tears that she had cried due to her true love, Reginold Jeeves, being crually seperated from her by her evil father, Baron Lloyd von Scarlet auf Cummerbund.

"It's all ready done" the evil man said crually.

"But daddy I love him!" I said.

"he is not of our class. You can not marry a servant, Skwye" he said

"I dont care! I'll follow him. You cant stop us. Our love will conquer all" she said

"if you do you'll regret it. I'll make sure he is arrested and goes to jail" he said "anyway he thinks your dead. I made sure of that" he said

"you are evil, daddy, evil" I whispered brokenly

She flew to the window and stared out. She saw her lovers tall dark form aboard a horse, galloping away miserably. She put's her head in her arms and weeps uncontrolably.

<3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3

Londen, Englend, 1920

Reginold Jeeves tucked the small photograph into his drawer which showed a beautiful auburn haired young woman He often took it out to remember the one woman he had loved the only woman he would ever love he shed a single solitary tear before putting the picture away.

"jeeves I bally say, wot!" he heard the voice of his employer, Bertie Wooster, from the other room He sighed and got up sadly wiping his eye's and going out to see what the young master needed

"what does Sir require?" Asked the butler perfectly correctly. No one would ever guess that inside he was dieing of a broken heart

"its a bally beautiful day, wot?" The young man ejaculated as he saw his butler enter.

Just then the doorbell rang the dark-haired man answered the door it was Aunt Agatha

"Jeeves I say I don't bally want to see her!" the younger man was suddenly afraid but it was too late He trembled when the daunting figure of his aunt came in the room.

"wooster!! I asked you to come see me at my house yesterday and you didn't show up what is wrong with you you bloody young fool?!?" she said.

"but aunt agatha, I say, I was, umm, bally busy, wot" he said.

"you will go to my house now. She said sternly.

The young man whimpered but followed his aunt agatha out the door. She pinched his but as he goes out causing him to jump but Jeeves' doesn't even notice. The dark-haired butler sigh's. His employer has become more and more depressed lately like the butler himself but nothing can ever make the dark-haired man better not since the love of his live had so tragicly died at such a crually young age.

<3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3 ~ <3

That night Jeeves and Wooster were in their apartment alone together each thinking there own sad thought's. Reginold was sadly thinking about Skwye. For some reason he was thinking about her more and more often lately almost like she was trying to comunicate with him in his mind only that couldn't be true because she was dead. She was so beautiful so compasionate so caring. She had been his first love and he had loved her since he first heard her spirited laugh even though he knew he was below her. He admired her from affar but he never thought she could possibly return his love. But the gentle welsh beauty had to his incredable surprise returned his emotions' and they had carried on a secret but pasionate love affair for several month's without her father finding out They both knew that there love was a forbiden one because a high borne lady could not date a servant not even a butler like Jeeves was. He would come to her bedroom at night and they would make love all night until he had to sneak away at dawn kissing her and promising her to return again that night. Then her father had found out somehow and when he threatened to fire the butler the red-haired girl had killed herself she had thrown herself off the cliff near their house the Baron had said. When the butler found out his world had ended he galloped away that night nowing that he would never be the same again.

The younger man was upset to. The thing's his aunt was making him do they couldn't be right. He didn't want to do those things like kissing her. But she wouldn't leave him alone and she threatened to make his live a living H-E-double hockey sticks unless he did what she wanted. She also said that if he told anyone he would regret it. He beleved her because she could take away all his money and make him live in the street if she wanted too. All of his money was controled by her. He sighed. "I say Jeeve's I think I'll take a bally bath. Will you go and get it ready, wot" he asked sadly.

The butler got up with a sigh and did as he was asked he layed out the younger mans shaving thing's because the younger man always shaved while he was in the bath then he left the room to give the younger man some privacy while he took a bath.

Wooster got in the bath with a sigh. He really didn't know how things could get any worse. His life had no meaning no purpose. He saw the razor blade that his butler had layed out for him and it gleamed atractively he reached for it almost in a days. He picked it up and caresed it gently, hypnoticly. The pain inside was to much to bare. He had to find a way to get it out of him. He layed the blade against the inside of his arm and sliced gently. The blood flowed out rich and crimson blooming like a flour in the bath water. It was beautiful. He gazed at the rich crimson fluid draining out of him and finaly felt free.

Meanwhile, the butler was out in the main room and put his head in his hands and cried. "Oh, Skwye, Skwye" he said over and over as he wept helplessly and he knew that his live wasn't worth living anymore without her

"Yes my darling" he heard. He thought he was imaging things and continued cring. Then he felt a tender hand on his cheek and he looked up incredulusly. There was his love! Skwye was not dead!!! He gasped and hugged her. "my darling, my darling" he said over and over They were both crying "I was never dead, it was only that my evil daddy the baron lyed to you to keep us apart" she said. He kissed her over and over hardly beleving that she was really their. She was just as beautiful as he remembered and he loves her just as much as the last time they had seen each other.

Just then they hear a weak voice from the bathroom saying "Jeeves I think I need some bally help in here, wot" The butler went to see what the young master wanted. When he saw the razor blade and the blood he screamed.

The auburn haired woman hearing the paniked cry of her lover came running in she immediately figured out what had happened acting quickly. she got a cloth and bound up the younger man's wound, she knew that he had not lost enough blood to be truely dangerous. Jeeves was still trembling and she goes to him and comforts him with hug's and kisses' when he is calmed down she turns back to the younger man "why would you do such a thing my dear Bertie" she asks him with compassion in her melodous voice.

Something about her caring makes him answer honestly "its because well its because my bally aunt makes me do bally things that are bally wrong" he weeps as he admits this "like kissing her and stuff, wot"

"Oh!" the auburn haired woman gasps horrified. That is horrible Bertie. Don't worry me and Reggie will protect you from now on" she hugs him and wipes away his tears he imediatly feels 100% better just being in the presence of this incredibly compasionate auburn haired woman.

Skwye and Reginold help the younger man out of the bath and get him bandaged properly and in a robe then the door of the apartment flies open

The baron stands in the doorway armed with a gun "alright I'm taking my daughter back home with me" he says "you guys aren't going too stop me. Shes my property and I can do what I want with her"

Jeeves and Bertie stand together in front of the auburn haired woman. "your bally not taking her away" the younger man says. "Sir is correct" the butler adds.

Just then aunt Agatha appears. "wooster, come with me!" she says. the baron startled wirls around and accidently fires the gun shooting agatha She clutches her heart as the blood blossom's and falls to the floor dead.

Skwye Bertie and Reginold stared agast. Skwye acting quickly quickly goes to the phone and calls the police Jeeves and Bertie restle the evil baron to the ground and keep him their until the cops arrive. Then they arest the barron and throw him in jail for life for shooting aunt agatha.

Bertie hugs Skwye. "thank you Skwye he says "for coming to our bally house and saving all of us. We would have bally died without you, wot"

"It's alright" she says hugging him back "you'll be alright now I promise and you don't ever have to hurt yourself again"

"I know" he says. "I don't bally need to anymore. And I just inherited all of aunt Agatha's money, so now I'm bally rich, wot"

"Me to" Skwye says "I just inherited all of my evil father's money"

Then the to men hugged even though they aren't gay or anything because men can hug without being all gay about it

Then Reginold fell to his knees and said in a shaky voice "Skwye my darling will you do me the incredable honor of being my wife"

"Yes my darling yes" she said "of course I will my one true love"

The auburn haired woman and the dark-haired man kissed pasionately.

Skwye and Reginold Jeeves along with their deer friend Bertie lived out the rest of their lives in happiness and love. It was A Love Without end.

The End.

On to the MST!

Or, enough of this horror! Take me to some J/W smutty lovin'!
How do I feel?: mischievousmischievous
Irresponsible Joneslemmealone on October 31st, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)

And yet, I can't stop laughing. 'Whales' broke me before the story even started. Bally good story, wot!

(Oh, Bertie the sekrit cutter... THE PAAAIN...)
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on October 31st, 2006 08:13 am (UTC)
Whales - inorite? Can you beleve those wierd english people and there place names?

I'm so happy that you liked it!!!!!!!!!! Yah, poor Bertie is in pain. :( but now its alright with Agatha dead. and Jeeves and skwye to take care of him.

Thank you for your coment!!!

(no subject) - lemmealone on October 31st, 2006 08:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on October 31st, 2006 08:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lemmealone on October 31st, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 01:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Furius: eyesfurius on October 31st, 2006 07:27 am (UTC)
I just want to tell you that I actually cannot read this. I couldn't even read the summary. The description of "Pairing" already has induced part of my mind in convulsions. It is indeed, a frightening costume.

Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on October 31st, 2006 08:16 am (UTC)
I totaly understand that you canot read it, because of the insest. its like, a serius topic and stuff. But thank-you for comenting anyway. U rulz!

(no subject) - magegirl8 on November 1st, 2006 05:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 09:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 04:05 am (UTC)
thanxxxx 4 saying i am a genuis!!!!! ur so sweet. {{{{{{{you}}}}}} OMG inorite the cutting was so sad!!!!! im sorry i had to make u sad liek that but i hop u r ok now cuz it was a happy ending.

((thanks my love! *takes brass balls, giggling*))
Zekkass: Agathazekkass on October 31st, 2006 11:47 am (UTC)
I don't DARE read this until I have some moral thing to read afterwards.

Congratulations, I'm scared out of my mind, and I've barely glanced at it. O_O
Zekkass: circuitszekkass on October 31st, 2006 09:31 pm (UTC)
I just read it, with assitance from the MST, and I'm here to tell you to die from shame for writing this. Skyie, or swkye, or whatever your name is, you have just contaminated a fandom that has remained free from the horror for a long time, and I think I am honored bound to destroy you now.

(PS: Skyblue, no, not the mary-sue, I want to talk to the real writer; you're awesome. Don't ever ever ever ever ever do this again. No more badfic for the fandom. I'm just sitting here, unutterably pleased that it is a literary fandom, so we don't get the plague. ('cept on Halloween. *shivers*) And good lord Bertie the cutter has just killed my brain. I do believe I will be indulging in the brain scrubbies heavily this week.)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 01:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - zekkass on November 1st, 2006 01:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
jadesfire2808: pic#54000349jadesfire on October 31st, 2006 12:31 pm (UTC)
*climbs back onto chair after falling off laughing*

I couldn't stop laughing from the beginning to the end. I love the random approach to spelling ("Non-con impiled" "Whales" *g*) and the ballistic approach to punctuation made it more than superb. Though the apostrophe police are out to get you ;) Am trundling off to find the MST, although I may have to find somewhere private to read it, as I don't know if I can laugh silently for much longer...

Bally brilliant, wot?
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 01:18 am (UTC)
Thank u!!! U Rulz. Not like those jelouse h8rs. Do u want to hlep me take down that dumb preson who made fun of my hard work?

Curried Goat in a paper cupderien on October 31st, 2006 01:11 pm (UTC)
Yay! \o/

omg this is sooooo good i cannot belife it you are a riter!!!!1111!!eleven!!
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 01:19 am (UTC)
omg omg omg! thank u sooooooo much!!! u r so nice. i think you shuld help me take down that mean-spirted h8r who made fun of my hard work. {{{{{{{{you}}}}}}}}}
(no subject) - derien on November 1st, 2006 01:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 02:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
Peak in Darien: Boosh - wrongpeak_in_darien on October 31st, 2006 02:32 pm (UTC)

Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god.

*shakes head from side to side*

Nope, image still not gone.
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 01:23 am (UTC)
well ummm, thanx i guess! i mean it was a serius storey so i dunno why your laughing but im glad you lieked it. u rock!!!!!!!

((HEY, I object to your icon on the basis that it implies that I was ever "right" in the first place. :P))
Jestana: J&W: Almost kissjestana on October 31st, 2006 02:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, lordy. *facepalm* This is a fantastic bad!fic. *giggles madly* The horrible spelling, shifting from 1st person to 3rd person, the bad punctuation. *shudders* Lovely job!
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 01:25 am (UTC)
thanxxxxx!!! well i may not be the best spellar but there were three people in the story for the most time so it was 3rd person but sometiems there were only two people in it at a time so it was 2nd person not 1st person in those parts. but that's okay i still love you even if you dont understand these things cuz i'm not a h8r like SOME people around here.
(no subject) - jestana on November 1st, 2006 02:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 02:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
ennui_blue_lite: msliz4857 HL teadyennui_blue_lite on October 31st, 2006 03:16 pm (UTC)
There’s something waiting for you at my journal, skyblue.

Aren’t you all so happy that I’m here to take down this abomination against Plum?

Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 01:27 am (UTC)
(no subject) - ennui_blue_lite on November 1st, 2006 02:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
karaokegal: crotchkaraokegal on October 31st, 2006 03:18 pm (UTC)
I award you the order of the BIG CLANKING COJONES!!! I originally posted in a daze last night before realizing you should get all your goodies in a bag over here at your LJ rather than strewing them all over the floor back at the party. You are bright and beautiful and audacious and ballsy and I love you. Just for being the first guest to step out on the floor in costume you get the BCC and for writing this...honestly I don't know how you can even walk.
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 01:30 am (UTC)

((Thank you muchly, my dear. You throw the best parties, honestly! Mwah. And that icon is perfect! Hee.))
(no subject) - karaokegal on November 1st, 2006 02:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 04:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - karaokegal on November 1st, 2006 04:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ennui_blue_lite on November 1st, 2006 04:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - karaokegal on November 1st, 2006 02:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Crash TenBillion: Porky Pine - humorweaselwoman13 on October 31st, 2006 04:27 pm (UTC)
omg that made me cry a little
poor bertie if only people were nto so mean to him
im glad jeeves and skwye got ttogether in the end tho
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 02:48 am (UTC)
thank u sooooooo much!!!!! ur like so supercool and i luv u!!!!! i am soooo sorry that i mad u cry tho. i know it is so sad when peeple r mean to other peeple. like that horrible enniu girl (wahtever that means!) who made fun of my hard work. u want to help me go give her what for? she dsrves a taste of her own medisine, rite?????

u get a++++++++++++++++++ too!!!!!!!
She who adores SFAHL: [J & W] SmexJeeves.JPGmsliz4857 on October 31st, 2006 08:06 pm (UTC)
OMG...you promised scary, you delivered scarier!

This had me rolling on the floor throughout, especially because whenever I saw "Skwye" I heard Elmer Fudd (be vewy vewy quiet). But it just occurred to me you were going for the "Gwladys" reference, what? OMG, that's even funnier than Elmer! hahahahahahaha!

*peers at your over the top of my glasses* No, I will NOT make you a "smex, aunt agatha" icon. No matter how much you beg me.
Zekkass: circuitszekkass on October 31st, 2006 09:14 pm (UTC)
Here, mess with this as you like.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
(no subject) - msliz4857 on October 31st, 2006 10:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - zekkass on October 31st, 2006 10:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - msliz4857 on October 31st, 2006 10:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 03:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - msliz4857 on November 2nd, 2006 01:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 2nd, 2006 02:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - msliz4857 on November 2nd, 2006 04:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
Fluffyflufshepherd on October 31st, 2006 08:29 pm (UTC)
OMIGOD im still cring over berty and jeeve's pain. im so glad skwye was their 2 help fix evrything.

ur such a good righter. nd, OMG U HAVE 2 RIGHT MORE NOW!!!!!1!11

(o, && im replyingg 2 ur email as i tipe this, so xpect it soon.)
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 03:14 am (UTC)
OMG U R THE BESTEST EVAR. U R MY BFF 4EVA!!!!! inorite, isn't jeeves lucky to have skwye?

thank u 4 saying i am a good riter. u r the best icon-maker evar! thank u so much for my icon!!! some people r mean-spirted and jealouse h8rs and need to be taken down. i saw u defnded me and i luv u 4 that!!!!! i will go dfnd u now 2.

i got ur email! i will respond soon. {{{{{{{you}}}}}}}}
(no subject) - flufshepherd on November 1st, 2006 03:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 08:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
Papillon Cosmos: Jeeves WTFprincesskraehe on October 31st, 2006 08:47 pm (UTC)
So I missed the first bit. *heart out of throat* Whew.

u r a jeenus lol I hart this soooooo much!!!!1
Sky: [custom] jeeves hearts skwyeskyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 03:17 am (UTC)
omg!!! thank u for saying i am a jeenus!!!!! ILU!!!!!!

((hee hee, sorry I scared you like that. *offers candy*))
Omphale: braindryadwoman on October 31st, 2006 09:52 pm (UTC)
Hey, just read the MST, whatever that means. You are an evil genius. EVIL! GENIUS! I say.

The end.
Zekkasszekkass on October 31st, 2006 10:10 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - dryadwoman on October 31st, 2006 11:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on November 1st, 2006 03:18 am (UTC) (Expand)