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06 June 2013 @ 07:39 pm
meep  
So, um, hi. *shuffles foot diffidently*

I'm dreadfully ashamed that it's been so long since I've posted. It's been even longer than that since I've been writing or even reading in fandom. I just... lost my mojo, I guess.

Anyway, I decided it was time to reconnect. I don't have my mojo back, I haven't written a word of fiction in months, maybe even over a year? But I've missed you, and I've missed fandom, and writing, and being a part of this community. So... here I am.

On the personal front, since I last posted, I've gotten a full time job (I was formerly self-employed) but I'm kind of miserable and want to be self-employed again, but doing something else. That's one of the things I'll probably be posting about for a while. Ideas/encouragement always welcome.

I also got a divorce - it was a long time coming, though it was an incredibly hard decision. No one in my family has ever gotten divorced. No one. EVER. So it was kind of hard to come to terms with the fact that I needed to. And I did need to. I am so much happier now. I mean, I couldn't have even imagined how much freer and more content I would be after I left a marriage that had become, if not toxic, at least... stifling.

Now I'm a single mom, though, and b/c the ex is still trying to get on his feet, I have 100% custody - he visits with the kiddo for a few hours on Saturday. This is hard on my son, and it's also hard on me - much as I love my child, being the sole custodian of a small child while also holding a full time job and trying to maintain my sanity is daunting, to say the least. I'm dating an awesome guy now, and he helps out, but still. Free time is limited, and my energy to do anything after work and parenting duties, almost nil. I haven't even seen the new Star Trek movie!!

So anyway, hopefully will be posting more now, and getting back to commenting on others' posts, even if not writing fic again (yet) myself.

Those of you who have written me personal messages and/or comments that I have not responded to, please accept my abject apologies. I will try to do better going forward.

<333
 
 
 
silsbee329 on June 7th, 2013 03:28 am (UTC)
Don't be ashamed, girl -- this "Real Life" stuff can get heavy, as I see you are experiencing. I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, but it's great that you have met a nice new person. I hope you will be around more. Missed ya. :)
*hugs*
(I haven't seen the new movie yet, either. Crazy!)
Sky: [other] arch stairskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 04:06 am (UTC)
Thank you, hon. You are very gracious, and I appreciate it. I also appreciate the comment - posting to my lj I was like "omg does anyone remember me? will they care that I'm back?" so to have at least one comment is reassuring. I missed you too! And I hope to be around more. *hugs*

(Right? Honestly, at this point, I don't even care. I'll see it eventually - prolly when it's out on dvd.)

Favorite Darknessfavoritedarknes on June 7th, 2013 05:13 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear about the divorce. But I am really glad to hear you're coping so well *hugs* It's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie. Your happiness and your kids' is more important. You get one life and it shouldn't be spent in misery. You'll be fine :-)
Sky: [other] cocoaskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 05:25 am (UTC)
Aw, thanks, bb. *hugs* It's been a rough couple years, for sure. But I'm hoping the worst is over now. Yikes, hope I didn't just jinx myself by saying that.

That "one life" thing is so true, and one of the motivating factors behind some of the changes I've made in my life recently, and hopefully more changes to come. Thanks for the encouragement. :)
my wings are like a shield of steel: quotation marksbuckle_berry on June 7th, 2013 06:59 am (UTC)
sorry you've been having such a tough time of it but i'm glad you seem to be coming out of the other side, into sunnier pastures!
Sky: [j&w] bertie smile animatedskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 03:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you!! I'm glad too. Now if I can just get back into writing, I'll be really thrilled.
Strictly Ornamental: kiddaasgrrl on June 7th, 2013 07:27 am (UTC)
*drive-by hugs*

I'm amazed you're as together as you are, with the single mum and full-time job thing. Sorry to hear about the divorce, though. That would just be really, really difficult.
Sky: [other] lamp skyskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 03:12 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks bb. *hugs back*

The divorce... it was hard, but not nearly as hard as the decision to get it, and the years of loveless marriage that preceded it. I'm sooo glad I did it. I try not to beat myself up that it took me so long to do it - I just wasn't ready yet, I guess.

Being a single mom is incredibly tough! And I'm super lucky - my job pays the bills so I don't need child/spousal support, my parents live nearby and help out, and so does my bf. And I only have one kid. I cannot imagine how other moms do it without all of those advantages. I have so much respect for single moms (well, and single custodial dads too).
Judemga1999 on June 7th, 2013 01:41 pm (UTC)
*tackles and hugs*

This post made my morning. I have missed you so! </p>

Much love to you and our darling boy.

Talk soon?

xxoo

Sky: [other] kitty hugskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 03:15 pm (UTC)
Awww, thank you bb! *tacklehugs back* I've missed you too! I see you're posting on TTOMT again, and I think that's awesome!!

BTW, YOU are one of those single moms I'm referring to in my comment to daasgrrl above. I don't know how you do it. So much respect for you.

Definitely we should talk soon! I haven't been on chat in yonks but I'll have to try to get back on soon.

xoxo!
janice2002 on June 7th, 2013 02:00 pm (UTC)
Welcome back to Bruce-Greenwood! Hope you'll be around a lot.
I'm sorry to hear of all your problems and I wish you well going forward.
Sky: [bg] surf faceskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 03:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!! I feel bad for being gone so long. I hope I can be around more regularly too... *crosses fingers*
imachar: Bruce absimachar on June 7th, 2013 03:19 pm (UTC)
Hey darlin' don't worry about it, just glad to see you back again....Single parenting is tough, never mind holding down a full time job, so I'm just happy that you're back. You got me into writing for this crazy mess that is ST:AOS and I'm still going string three years later...missed you lots...
Sky: [star trek aos] pikeskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 03:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you, bb! I'm quite proud that I got you into this. :D And I'm thrilled that you're still at it! Go you!

Missed you too - hopefully I'll be around more! It helps that the kiddo is starting to settle into a more normal bedtime routine... for about a year he absolutely REFUSED to "go gentle into that good night" (no, not death, I mean sleep :p) and would stay up late jumping on the bed, wake up in the middle of the night screaming, and as a result I was as sleep deprived as when he was a newborn... maybe even more since I was doing all of the getting up myself.

Anyway now he usually goes to bed around 7:30 and is fairly quiet until he falls asleep, so I'm getting a *bit* more time to myself in the evening.

this is not a thalia: ST: Once & Future Captainthalialunacy on June 7th, 2013 03:36 pm (UTC)
Aww, good to see you! Well done making it out of a dark period into something better. <33333
Sky: [star trek aos] crewskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 03:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I've missed you. I think I saw a b-day notification for you recently? If I'm not imagining it, then happy belated birthday!

Crossing my fingers for more time/energy to be around.

♥♥♥
(no subject) - thalialunacy on June 7th, 2013 04:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
amine_eyesamine_eyes on June 7th, 2013 09:26 pm (UTC)
Seriously, sorting RL out is much more important, and I'm glad to hear that its getting better for you <33333333

*hugs*
Sky: [other] clean all the thingsskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2013 10:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks, hon. It is getting better. I need to make more changes, specifically in the career arena, and probably in where I live, but... one step at a time. Sometimes I forget that.

<33333!
cicerothewriter on June 7th, 2013 11:16 pm (UTC)
It's really great to hear from you, hon! I was wondering how it was going and if you were okay. *hugs*

It's good to have you back!
Sky: [other] daffodilskyblue_reverie on June 8th, 2013 12:01 am (UTC)
Hi there!! *hugs* It's good to be back, and thank you so much for the kind words. How have things been with you?
lyrstzhalyrstzha on June 8th, 2013 08:19 am (UTC)
It's good to see you back, and I'm glad to hear you're in a better, if difficult, situation. Good luck on getting back to self-employment!
Sky: [other] colored pencil doodleskyblue_reverie on June 8th, 2013 04:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you! It's good to see you too - thanks for dropping in to comment. A traditional job has its benefits, for sure - the steady paycheck being foremost among them. But I really miss the flexibility of self-employment.
(Deleted comment)
Sky: [other] crayon heartskyblue_reverie on June 8th, 2013 04:06 pm (UTC)
I miss you too! Any chance you'd be coming to the area anytime soon? *hugs*
pslasherpslasher on June 10th, 2013 12:52 am (UTC)
All the hugs bb! That sounds really difficult.
Sky: [star trek aos] karl hand to foreheadskyblue_reverie on June 10th, 2013 03:57 am (UTC)
Thank youuuu! Eh, it's tough but things are better than they were. :) *hugs back*
secretsolitairesecretsolitaire on June 10th, 2013 03:06 am (UTC)
Good to hear from you! Sorry about your divorce, but I'm glad things are looking promising with a new person. *hugs*
Sky: [other] cherry blossomsskyblue_reverie on June 10th, 2013 03:59 am (UTC)
Thank you!! *hugs back* I have to go check out your poetry month entries - I always love those.
(no subject) - secretsolitaire on June 11th, 2013 02:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
cousin_girycousin_giry on June 14th, 2013 12:19 pm (UTC)
Good Luck!

Sometimes life throws hard decisions at you. But I think that you are doing fine. One day at a time, isn't that what they say? Anyways: Good Luck again.
Sky: [other] arch stairskyblue_reverie on June 17th, 2013 02:28 am (UTC)
Yep, that is indeed what they say, and it's very good advice. Thanks! It's good to hear from you. :)