Sky (skyblue_reverie) wrote,

Trek Fic: Turning a Little Blue (Part 52 of TTOMT, Pike/McCoy, R)

Title: Turning a Little Blue (Part 52 of To Talk of Many Things)
Author: [personal profile] mga1999 and [personal profile] skyblue_reverie
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Pike/McCoy
Rating: R
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Word Count: Around 3000
Summary: The continuing correspondence of... yeah, you know the drill.
A/N: From [personal profile] mga1999 (the evol one): None of this is Sky's fault. I take full blame for what you are about to be subjected to. From [personal profile] skyblue_reverie (the pervy one): True! I was lazy this week and made my co-writer do everything.

Click on the gorgeous banner by the awesome [personal profile] fanarts_series for series masterlist with links to all prior parts:

To James Kirk (
From: Christopher Pike (
Date Sent: Friday 2260.361

Dear Jim,

Happy New Year! Although with us fairly close you will probably get this sooner, but I probably won’t get a chance to write again for a while. We’re a day away from New Vulcan and will be patrolling the area for the foreseeable future.

I’m not quite sure where else to start this so let me just say this -- I’m feeling guilty as hell right now being so happy at having Len on the Exeter with me. I’ll even admit I was hoping that if you lost your command that would happen. I could also confess to a lot more thoughts that I’m ashamed of, but I’m sure you guessed a lot of them already. Despite my feelings, son, I did vote in favor of you retaining your command. As I said before, you did nothing different than I would have done -- What any good Captain would have done. And if any of those stuffed shirt admirals who have never served a moment in space had -- Well, don’t get me started.

Before I move on, I want to say that I had nothing to do with my parents getting involved in your situation. You have Len to thank for that. At the time I had been avoiding my mom -- Well, I’m still avoiding her, over wedding plans. I also want you to know that I am digging to find out if there is anything underhanded going on with taking Len off the Enterprise. I was just as surprised as you were to get the orders. I had no prior knowledge and neither did Admiral Barnett. I wouldn’t do that to you, son. I hope you know that.

I also know that having Len here isn’t permanent -- Even if I’d want it to be. It might be awhile, because Philip is certainly not going to leave Txanton until he’s recovered -- If he recovers. That’s still hard to type, but the last report I got from Philip and after having Len read the medical reports -- Well, it doesn’t look good right now.

Len and I had a good Christmas. I know he was missing you and is worried about you. But I hope knowing that he was happy and had a good time with my crew will somehow help you. It used to help me knowing he was happy and safe with you on the Enterprise. I certainly wouldn’t want him anywhere else -- Well, except with me of course. Again, I’m feeling guilty right now for being so happy having him here when I know you are probably miserable. I’m sorry, Jim. I really am.

I’m at a loss for what else to say right now. It’s hard being so happy right now but at the same time, I’m worried about my godson. I’m worried about more bombings. I found out Christmas Eve that an old friend of mine from years ago was a victim in the bombing. I’m not at all happy that apparently ‘Fleet Intelligence knew something was coming but issued no warnings and waited until something happened before recalling half the fleet. While I know terrorists can still strike no matter what precautions are taken, it’s ridiculous that the first word we get is after something happens. I know they are more worried about the Romulans and Klingons, and rightfully so, but dammit they should know by now that this is exactly the kind of situation that Terra Prime would exploit.

I hope you know that certain members of the Admiralty wanted to recall the Reliant and leave the Enterprise the only ship patrolling the neutral zone. Luckily that was shot down by the more sensible members. Idiots. And you wonder why I wasn’t so eager to take a desk job? I’d go crazy dealing with them on a daily basis. It’s bad enough reading the briefs.

I’m going to get some sleep now. Len has already thrown himself into work and is setting up the research lab to his specifications. I have gamma tonight so I need to at least get a few hours.

Take care of yourself, son. Len isn’t the only one worried about you, you know.



P.S. Would you do me a favor and drop Kianna a line? I’m worried about how she’s coping with her brother and the bombing. She always lights up when you are around and I think she could use it right now.

To: Leonard McCoy (
From: James Kirk (
Date sent: Tuesday 2260.365


Happy New Year, man! You are missing a STELLAR par-tay! Scotty went all out this year. I’m not sure what’s in his latest concoction but it’s sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. Everything looks green. And orange. And wait, I think I see PURPLE too. We have music from the twentieth and twenty first centuries blasting. I’m attaching a song you HAVE to listen to, man. Or wait, I should send you the video.


[Capt. James Kirk]: OH SHIT I think I just turned on audio recording. Even better. Yeah! Even SPOCK was dancing to it. And half the crew was falling on the floor which damn, was pretty ironic for the song. It’s by a group that was called Chumbawamba… What the fuck kind of name is that? Sounds like the name of one of those creatures that chased me on Delta Vega. Wait, or not. I have never laughed so hard dancing. We were literally ROLLING on the floor. And then people just started dropping to the floor every time the song said ‘I get knocked down’ EVEN SPOCK DID BONES! Sadly, people couldn’t follow the ‘but I get up again’ because we are all TOO FUCKING DRUNK. Oh SHIT, Chekov is now standing on a table and stripping to some song by a guy named Joe COCKer. SERIOUSLY BONES. WHO HAS A NAME LIKE THAT? COCK! COCK COCK! WOW Chekov has some serious moves dude! I didn’t know hips could do that! And why the hell would you leave your hat on? This song makes no sense. HOLY SHIT! Chekov has on a bright pink g-string!!!!!!!!!! I am TOTALLY sending you a vid of this. WOW. Sulu just dragged Chekov out of the room. I really didn’t need to know how well endowed Chekov is FUCK. HOW CAN SOMEONE SO SMALL HAVE A DICK LIKE THAT? OH WAIT, I HAVE TO GO DANCE TO THIS ONE.

[two minute pause]

[Capt. James Kirk]: E-VRY-BODY’S WORK-ing FOR THE WEEK-end! EVRY-BODY’S GOing OFF the DEEP END!

[one minute of heavy breathing noises]

[Capt. James Kirk]: Man Bones, I’m glad I’m talking to you because I needed a fucking break from all this fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. Loverboy? Man, I should start a band with that name since I’m the quintessential loverboy. What do you think Bones? Will you join my band when you come back? Wait, do you even play anything? FUCK. Well, I can teach you. Although I don’t know if it will be a good idea. Spock would probably want to join and play that that, fuck I forgot what’s its called. And sorry, but that would just NOT BE MY SOUND. I wonder if I could get away with growing my hair out? I mean who’s going to see us? What do you think Bones? Think I’d look good with long hair? Have you seen some of those ‘hair’ bands from the 20th century? Long flowing golden hair! WICKED COOL. Come to think of it, you’d look good with long hair too. What do you say Bones? Though I don’t think you could pull off the blond hair. I could see your hair red. YEAH. COME ON BONES IT WOULD BE AWESOME. Oh shit man, Spock just went over to Keenser who’s DJ’ing and now some slow shit is coming on. Hey, did you know that Spock and Uhura have been fighting? I even heard HIM yelling. I think that was the first time I ever heard Spock yell. Well, except when he was about to strangle me but that was more of a roar I think. Anyway, I think Spock is trying to make up or something because he just asked for a slow song to play and Scotty ordered the lights dimmed. I’m glad I haven’t eaten, man. I think I want to throw up now. JESUS, ALL THESE PEOPLE JOINING THEM SLOW DANCING? What is up with that? Shit, I need another drink. Be right back. Oh wait, I’m the Captain, I don’t need to go get a drink, I have yeomans for that. WOMAN GET ME A DRINK. MAKE IT A DOUBLE OF THAT GOOD STUFF BONES DRINKS. Fuck, there are some weird lights shining around the room now. They are making me dizzy. I don’t think that’s good considering I’m sitting down. What the fuck kind of lyrics are these? I can’t make them out. Can alcohol make you deaf Bones? Hold on, let me look them up.


[Capt. James Kirk]: I’m all out of LOVE, I’m so lost withOUT you, I know you were right, believing for SO LONG! I’m all out of love! What am I withOUT you? I can’t be too late to say that I WAS SO WRONG! Fuck Bones. You’re coming back to me right? I didn’t do something to piss you off to make you leave, right? Shit. This song is so true. I am lost without you, Bones. It’s no fun drinking alone. Shit, not even the drinking. Just that being alone part. And that’s what I am. Alone. Alonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeee. Spock doesn’t even want to play chess lately. Uhura isn’t even swearing at me in forty languages when I flirt with her. Scotty is obsessed with some new project he’s working on. Sulu and Chekov are so busy making googly eyes at each other and spending every moment together that the fencing lessons Sulu was giving me aren’t happening. What the fuck man? I’m sounding like a morose bastard. OH MY GOD I’M TURNING INTO YOU. SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME! GOD DAMMIT. OH MY GOD I DID IT AGAIN. I’M YOU! I need to get laid. Do you know how long it’s been, Bones? Since your engagement party. I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING YOUR HEAD AT ME. IT’S THE TRUTH. Fuck. I can’t stay in here anymore. They are playing more slow songs. Hold on.

[transmission paused]

[Capt. James Kirk]: Okay, I’m in your quarters now. Shit, should I have told you that? Fuck, I’m drunk. I won’t remember this right? I’ve been coming in your quarters and sleeping on your couch sometimes. I can’t sleep, Bones. I haven’t been able to sleep more than a couple hours at a time since you left. I even went to see Chapel the other day to ask for something and she told me and I quote, “Dr. McCoy isn’t here and since he isn’t I don’t have to put up with your juvenile excuses to come in here and bother the staff. So unless you are bleeding or something is falling off, which wouldn’t surprise me by the way” - and she was looking pointedly at my crotch - “stay out of my sickbay.” I should have brought her up on insubordination, Bones! I was so shocked though that I just left. I mean, I’m not that bad am I? Shit, maybe I am. Maybe that’s why I’m all alone. No one likes me, Bones. You’re the only one that likes me. And now you’re gone. You’re probably not coming back either are you. I guess I don’t blame you. Shit. Sorry. I am probably bothering you with this too aren’t I? Maybe I’ll just delete it. This little green one here is delete right? Oh wait, shi-


To: Leonard McCoy (
From: James Kirk (
Date sent: Wednesday 2261.001


Happy New Year, man. Boy am I hungover. It’s not quiet the same without you here bitching at me though. I, um, might have sent a drunken comm earlier. If you haven’t listened yet, um, well, could you just delete it? Really, Bones. Just hit delete. I don’t even remember what I said but I’m sure it was nothing good. I can’t bring myself to listen. But if you have already listened and I said something bad, I’m sorry. I was pretty drunk. I woke up face down on the floor of your quarters. Don’t even know how I got there.

Anyway, sorry. I hope you had a good New Year with Chris.


To: Philip Boyce (
From: Christopher Pike (
Date Sent: Thursday 2261.002

Dear Philip,

I cannot begin to comprehend what you are going through. I’m struggling with frustration and helplessness every time Len updates me. All I can say is that I’m glad he’s here with me – It helps to have someone you love share the burden with you. I’ve never had that before, and it hurts me that you may not have the support you need right now. I would say that I wish I could be there with you, but considering I’ve never been a very good friend in the first place, I probably wouldn’t help much.

Just know that you, Allen and my godson are in my constant prayers. The Exeter had a candlelight vigil the other night, all night, in the rec room, that people wandered in and out of before and after shifts for all the victims of this tragedy. It was both heartbreaking and uplifting. Just know we are all thinking of you.

I’m glad Allen is going to be okay. I commed him a couple of days ago and he already wrote me back. He seems to be holding up as well as can be expected. He’s worried about you, as am I. I know from experience that throwing yourself into work can be cathartic and needed, but just make sure you are taking care of yourself. And yes, I know me saying that is very hypocritical.

I’m at a loss for what else to say. I want to thank you for what you said in your comm. You’re a better friend than I deserve, Philip. I’m sorry. I hope that I can start being a better person, a better friend. Yes, I know how emotionally shut off I was. Am. I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time with everything. I guess the best way to describe how I feel at times is that I’m suffocating. And I don’t mean that in necessarily a bad way. It’s just so overwhelming at times to feel so much – The way I feel for Len, sometimes I literally feel like I’m not sure if I can take another breath. That probably doesn’t make sense, but it’s the best way I can put it into words.

Len and I haven’t even really talked yet. I know we need to. I’m probably being a coward for distracting him with other things every time he tries, usually muttering something under his breath. It’s not like I’ve seen him much either. We’re working different shifts right now, and we’ve been so busy with our new orders. I’m probably just making excuses, and I know I need to schedule time for us to really talk. I just don’t know how limited his time will be here and I don’t want to spend it fighting with him. I know it will turn into a fight. What did you do with Allen at times like that? Is it really possible to discuss things without fighting? Is it just us?

Richard said something when I talked to him earlier - that they are trying to find a more permanent solution to your leave. He was called into a meeting before he could explain, but I can’t help but wonder if you’ve changed your mind and aren’t coming back? I also might have mentioned to him last week that I was worried whether Len and I would be able to work together without irreparably damaging our relationship. I know until Chris is back on his feet - and I truly believe he will be - that you won’t be back. I would throw you off if you tried. While I certainly want you back, I want you to know that if you need to stay on Earth, I understand. And no, this isn’t me trying to get you to stay to save your marriage now. What you’ve said and talking to Len, I get it. It’s sinking in. That doesn’t mean that I’m still not -- I don’t know what the word is -- disillusioned maybe? I felt the same when I was a teenager and found out my father had been married before. Between that and joining Starfleet the next year, that was the beginning of our estrangement. I don’t want that to happen to us, Philip. I’m sorry if the way I’ve been acting was making it head that way.

Shit, you know I’m not good at this stuff, but you’ve been a good friend to me all these years, Philip. My best friend if I’ll admit it. I never thought I really needed friends, yet somehow you stuck by me. I have hundreds of acquaintances, but honestly not many friends. Thank you for that. I don’t feel caught between you and Allen. Probably because neither of you have made me feel that way. I hope that doesn’t change. Whatever you need, Philip, I hope you know I’m there for you. I will admit that I’m not really sure what do to right now. Just take care of yourself and keep me updated.



This entry was originally posted at Please feel free to comment here or there.

On to Part 53
Tags: fic: trek, pairing: pike/mccoy, series: ttomt
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