Sky (skyblue_reverie) wrote,
Sky
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Trek Fic: The Butter's Spread Too Thick (TTOMT Part 47, Pike/McCoy, NC-17)

Title: The Butter's Spread Too Thick (Part 47 of To Talk of Many Things)
Author: mga1999 and skyblue_reverie
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Pike/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Word Count: Around 3200
Summary: The continuing correspondence of... yeah, you know the drill.


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To: Philip Boyce (pboyce@starfleet.gov)
From: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
Date Sent: Wednesday 2260.324


Dear Philip:

I'm awfully sorry to hear about your split from Allen. It seemed like you didn't want to talk about it, so I won't pry, but I went through a pretty hellish divorce myself, so if you ever need to talk about it - or, well, write to someone about it, I'm here, all right?

I'm sure you've caught wind of some of what's being going on with the Enterprise. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be hush-hush or not, so I won't go into details, but I'm sure it's got Chris climbing the walls. I'm hoping you can keep him from losing it completely.

Promise me you won't let him push you away, all right? And I feel guilty as hell putting this on you, because I know you've got enough to deal with already, but I know he's going to need your support.

Don't let him quit the new regimen, or try to "postpone" it, just because things are tough right now. Things are always tough. Sometimes it seems like it's one damn thing after another with no time to breathe between 'em.

I guess we just have to hold on and hope like hell that things get better.

And on that cheerful note, I'll sign off.

Take care,
Len



To: Willa Pike (willa.e.pike@googlemail.com)
From: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
Date Sent: Wednesday 2260.324



Dear Willa,

Thanks for your comm. I don't know how much of the news has reached earth, but the Enterprise just had a run-in, I guess you could say, with some Romulan warbirds. We're all fine, but as you can imagine, we're all pretty unsettled, and no one's sure what's going to happen next. I'm not even sure I should be telling you this but between the encryption that Jim said he'd put on this, and your husband's diplomatic connections, somehow I think it won't be a problem.

Speaking of Jim, he's having a rough time. He's in deep trouble over his decision to engage the Romulans. We don't know what his punishment is going to be, and even though he tries to cover it up, I can tell he's worried. And aside from that, something that happened during that fight brought up a lot of painful memories from Jim's childhood. I shouldn't say anything more than that, because it's not my secret to reveal, but the upshot is that Jim's really hurting right now.

I know Chris is too, from what you told me, and I heard it from Philip as well - that he'll probably be panicking about the entire idea of marriage right now, given Philip and Allen's split. And I'm sure having me disappear for a while, not knowing if I was all right or not, must have just added to his conviction that close relationships aren't worth the risk.

I apologize, ma'am - I meant to write you back about your questions about the wedding, and instead I ended up unloading all my worries on you. I'm tempted to erase this comm and not send it, but... I guess maybe it's a bit of a relief to be able to vent to someone.

I really don't have a preference for wedding colors. Heck, I don't really have much of an opinion about the wedding in general, except for the groom. I promise I'll mention to Chris that you've been writing to me about the wedding, though, in case it gets him to write back to you. You're a devious woman, Willa Pike.

Please give my regards to Mr. Pike.

Sincerely,
Leonard



To: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
From: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)
Date sent: Saturday 2260.327


Hi Baby,

I love you so much, Leonard McCoy. Don’t ever do that to me again. Part of me wants to wring Jim’s neck for cutting off communications, but the other part knows he did exactly what he needed to do to keep you safe -- Keep you all safe. And he did. Against all odds, but once again to the detriment of himself.

I don’t even know what to say right now. There is so much to say about Jim and the shit storm that is coming, but I think I need to get some things off my mind first. From the time I got Richard’s first comm when you ‘disappeared’ to the time nine days later when I got word you guys were okay... I honestly don’t know how I made it. Especially when your ring would go black at times. There is always a moment of panic when that happens. I know you have to take it off when you perform surgery and such. I know this. Doesn’t make it any easier.

Fuck, Len. I feel terrible for some of the thoughts that I had during those nine days. I was furious at Jim. I was even more furious at you. As a Starfleet Captain, I understand. I do. As a husband, and yes, I typed husband, Len, I was absolutely terrified of losing you. These feelings are still new to me. Being afraid of losing someone I love, loving someone so damn much that I can’t imagine living without that any more - I don’t know how to deal with that. It makes me feel weak.

And I know you, Leonard McCoy. I know you probably had in your mind that I am still having second thoughts about marrying you . That I regret it. That something like this happening would make it easy for me to walk away. Well, listen to me right now and imagine my intimidating captain’s voice.

I love you. I couldn’t leave you or walk away from you if I wanted to. And I don’t want to. If anything, this incident has reminded me even more how much I love you. How much I need you in my life. How much it’s worth all the stuff we’ve been through and the all the trials that are to come. I don’t regret marrying you, Len. I’m so damn grateful we married before we parted because if something had happened to you – Happened to either one of us. I don’t know how to explain and I’m struggling to find every single one of these words, baby. I just like knowing that you’re mine, and that I am yours. And if I were to die now, I would have no regrets. None.

God, I had to take a few minutes to pull myself together. What I feel for you is so overwhelming sometimes – I wish you knew, Len. I hope in some ways that you do. There is more I should say, and I promise I will. I just need to get some sleep. I know what you mean by wrung out. I wish I was there to pull you into my arms and hold you. I think we’d actually be holding onto each other, because right now I think I need it as much as you do. And after everything you’ve been through the last couple of weeks, that makes me feel like the selfish asshole I’ve always been.

That’s just how much I need you, baby. Don’t doubt that. I’ll write more soon.

I love you, Len.

Your husband,

Chris



To: James Kirk (jkirk@starfleet.gov)
From: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)
Date Sent: Monday 2260.329


Dear Jim,

I’m sorry, son, that I haven’t written you sooner. I’ve run such a gamut of emotions the last week that I wanted to work my way through them before I did. It would have been easy to lash out at you. It would have probably made me feel better, but I knew it ruin the strides we’ve made in the last few months in our relationship.

I know you aren’t in a good place right now, and I wish that somehow I could take some of the weight off of your shoulders. Yes, you made a mistake, but we all do. You don’t deserve the scrutiny you are under. I’ve done far worse at various times in my career. Being a Starfleet Captain is all about judgment and intuition and you have the latter in spades. The former is only gained by experience and, frankly, learning from the mistakes you made so you don’t make them again.

I hope you know that I’m doing everything I can to help you, Jim. I have called in just about every favor, written comms on your behalf, and may have possibly made a few threats, but you didn’t hear that from me. And honestly, while I don’t agree with everything you did, after reading the reports – They tied your hands purposely, Jim. I know it and I hope you know it. You did the right thing, son. Yes, you broke regs and you’ll have to suffer the consequences. But you saved countless lives, valuable and much-needed cargo, made a stand for Starfleet against the Romulans who I like to refer to as the biggest bullies in space.

That said, what the fuck where you thinking engaging four Romulan warbirds? Do you have any idea what they could have done to you, the Enterprise, and Len if they had actually attacked – Fuck, Jim. Two warbirds have taken down a c-class ship before. My nightmares are full of ‘what if’s’ and ‘could have beens’ this week thanks to you. Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m trying to keep emotion out of this comm. I’m trying to be as supportive as I can be, but that’s nearly impossible for me to do.

I will say this if it makes you feel any better. I’ve pored over the intel and logs you made prior to your decision and I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing you did. I might have sent a coded message to the Reliant to pass on to command, but I also understand why you didn’t. I also can’t say that I wouldn’t have entered the Neutral Zone either. I could not have stood by and watched those ships be destroyed any more than you could. I would be ashamed of any captain that would – And believe me, there are captains who would have done nothing.

I don’t know what else to say right now. Just know that I’m thinking about you and you have my support no matter what happens.

I love you, son. Take care of yourself.
Chris




To: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
From: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)
Date sent: Monday 2260.329


Dear Len,

I just wrote to Jim and it was one of the hardest comms I’ve ever sent. It was incredibly difficult not to lash out, and I may have somewhat, but the bottom line is I told him he has my full support and I hope you know I have been doing everything I can to help him. You might doubt that after the way I’ve acted at times, but I’ve called in every favor owed me and even some I’m not to try to reason with those out to get him. I’m not sure it’s going to be favorable. I think you need to know that.

I’m doing better. Really. Yes, I’m giving Philip a hard time and I know you asked me to go easy on him, but believe me, if I were to change the way I was acting, it would be worse. I’m trying to keep the way we interact the same. I know he’s hurting even though he acts completely otherwise. He’s acting like he’s won the lottery of being ‘free’ and I won’t be surprised if there is a fancy convertible hovercar sitting at his house next time we’re on Earth. He even dyed all the gray out of his hair, and is sporting a much shorter haircut. I have to admit he looks ten years younger, but he’s acting half his age. Or heck, probably worse. Don’t get me started.

I also have to admit I’m somewhat embarrassed by the last comm I sent. I re-read it earlier as I couldn’t remember what I’d brought up – And before you go off worrying about my memory, I’m fine, Len. Just stressed, tired and worried. I’m fine. Embarrassed or not, I meant every word of that comm. I’m happy to be married to you. I’ve even started writing my name as ‘McCoy’ in my personal non-Starfleet logs. The first time, I did it without thinking. Now I type them all as Christopher R. McCoy Pike. That’s me, and I’m damn proud of it.

I’m sorry my mother is bothering you about the wedding plans. I’ve been avoiding her, to tell you the truth. She prefers that I send her vid comms, so she can ‘see’ me, and since she’s my mother – Well, she’d know I was not being forthcoming about our wedding. I hadn’t considered that when we married, so I just need some time to frankly, figure out how to lie to my mother. Since Jim doesn’t believe in no-win scenarios, maybe he can figure out a way to get me out of the mess I’m in. Fuck.

By the way, my cousin who performed our wedding has invited us to stay at his bed and breakfast near the family winery next time we have shore leave on earth and a few days to spare. He knows it may be awhile, but I’d love to take you there – Show you where my family came from. I spent some time there when I was young and have nothing but good memories of my time there. We have the rest of our lives to accept the invitation and I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel.

While I have no interest in wedding plans, I have been thinking a lot about our honeymoon since there is no way I’m counting the short time we had. Since we’ll be on Risa together in a few months, I’m already looking for a private villa somewhere near the water. Preferably on one of their numerous man-made islands. I know they have several that only have one villa and we’d be completely alone. No staff. Everything you need is transported in or already stocked. We could walk around the island naked and do whatever we want. How does that sound? It sounds glorious to me – The thought of having you naked for six days straight and all to myself. Jesus, what you do to me.

Makes me want to plan our Earth honeymoon somewhere tropical and private too. I can see you, rain coming down, us walking around naked. Your skin wet, watching your muscles ripple as you walk, drops of water sliding down your ass. I’d probably stop right there and start licking them off, working my way to your hole. Then I’d open you up with my tongue and lean you against a tree and fuck you right there with the rain pouring down on us, cooling us off when inside we are both burning for each other. What do you think of that, baby? Can I do that for you? Can I plan that type of honeymoon?

Fuck, Now I have myself so hard. I’m going to take a shower and imagine that, wrap my hand around my cock and wish it was your tight ass. I’ll be coming with your name on my lips, baby. Always.

Fuck I miss you. Keep yourself safe, baby. I love you.

Chris


Personal Journal of Christopher R. McCoy Pike
Monday 2260.329


I’ve been avoiding writing here. It’s easier to pretend I’m not having the feelings I am. To Jim, Philip, and Len I’m being the perfect mentor, supportive best friend, and perfect husband. I’m doing and saying all the right things, but if any of them knew the truth, knew what I was really thinking and feeling... Just fuck.

Let’s start with Philip. This divorce has really changed him. Maybe I was in denial and it has been a long time coming, but I really thought they’d work it out. To hear that Allen has already moved out of their home – He bought a place nearby, and he’s seeing someone else, when they haven’t even filed for divorce. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but neither of them are acting like the people I’ve known and loved for over thirty five years. I want to slap some sense into both of them. To make it worse, Philip is fucking Sato. Sato. A woman at that. I never even knew Philip liked women. Every time I ask the computer to locate one of them, they are in each other’s quarters. Or Philip’s office. I shudder to think about the latter.

Next there is Jim. While everything I wrote in my comm is true, I’m still furious. I’m actually cycling through so many emotions I can’t even recognize half of them. And this is where I become the first rate asshole that most people think I am – I’m glad he screwed up. He needed to be knocked down a peg or two. Doesn’t mean I think he deserves what may happen to him, but part of me is – Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever used this word before, but gleeful sums it up pretty damn well.

Which brings me to Len. There is part of me that is even mad at him for not finding a way to contact me. I know Jim would have found a way to let him send a comm if he had insisted, but he didn’t. He went along with Jim as always with little thought. And yes part of me knows it’s not that simple, but it hurts to know that he’d follow Jim so blindly like that. Does follow Jim like that. And I know he wouldn’t follow me that blindly.

So here I am. I can’t tell anyone how I’m feeling. I certainly can’t tell my husband “I hope Jim loses his Captaincy over this so I can send Philip home to save his damn marriage and bring you over to the Exeter to replace him so I finally have you all to myself.” I’m sure that would go over really well.

I’m just fucked.




On to the next part
Tags: fic: trek, pairing: pike/mccoy, series: to talk of many things
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