Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Pike/McCoy
Warnings: The sap-meter is cranked to ELEVEN for this one, guys.
Word Count: around 4200
Summary: The thing was, in his former life, Leonard had been a hugger.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anything whatsoever is purely coincidental.
A/N : This one is for sleepygoof8784 who had a bad day and wanted a fic with lots of cuddling and/or hugging. I hope this fits the bill, bb! Thanks to wunnerwmn and hitlikehammers for giving this a once-over. You guys rock.
ETA: This is a one-shot, and not part of the To Talk of Many Things 'verse.
The thing was, in his former life, Leonard had been a hugger. Even -- with his bed partners -- a cuddler, not that he'd ever admit such a thing out loud. He was a tactile person, always had been. He used his hands to heal people in his calling as a surgeon, but that's not the only way that touch could heal. He'd learned that from his daddy and he'd seen it work too many times to disbelieve it. The touch of a loved one's hand, an embrace from a friend -- these were things that nurtured the soul, in a way that no goddamned Vulcan logic was ever going to be able to explain. And the real magic of it was that it was reciprocal -- the hugger and the huggee, as it were, both benefited equally. And touch, skin on skin, human warmth pressed against human warmth, was more than a luxury -- it was a necessity.
Leonard knew this, but it surprised him anyway, how much he missed it once it was gone. Oh, he still touched people in his duties in the Academy infirmary, plus Jim was given to clapping him on the shoulder and he was given to slapping Jim upside the back of his fool head. But it wasn't the same.
And then -- then there was Chris. Even now, he could hardly believe it. That after the shambles his life had become, he'd found a best friend, a new career, and a new lover within the space of only a year. Chris, for all that he had a dozen years on Leonard, kept him young. There were furtive kisses behind Academy buildings, hurried blowjobs in Chris's office, and "accidental" brushes against each other at crowded Starfleet functions, Chris's gorgeous laugh-lines crinkling with mischief. It wasn't a cuddling kind of relationship, but he'd take what he could get.
Leonard had never told Jim, but Jim had a knack for sniffing out things that you didn't want him to. So it wasn't all that surprising when one evening, as they were hanging out in their shared dorm room, Jim said, "So, you and Pike, huh?" Leonard turned red and spluttered a little bit, but that was Jim's fault -- bastard had deliberately waited until Leonard had just swallowed a sip of whiskey to drop that little bomb.
"What about it?" he asked warily. It'd be useless to deny it -- Jim wouldn't've said it unless he knew it was true, and Leonard wouldn't lie to the kid anyway.
Jim held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Hey, nothing, man, I've got no problem with it. It's just that..."
"It's just that what, Jim?"
"Welllll... you know that super-hot Orion cadet? The one I've been trying to get in bed for months?"
"So.... I kind of told her that my roommate would be gone tonight and invited her over for a private study date."
"And?" Leonard raised an eyebrow. He knew where this was going, and he didn't like it.
"And she said yes! Come on, Bones, it's the opportunity of a lifetime! Help a guy out! It's not forever, I'm just asking you to make yourself scarce for one night. And it's not like you don't have anywhere else to go." He waggled his eyebrows in what he probably thought was a lascivious manner but just looked ridiculous.
"No, absolutely not."
"Aww, but Bones, why not?" Now Jim was pulling out the puppy dog eyes which should have looked ridiculous but which Leonard was far too susceptible to. As Jim well knew.
"Because Chris and I -- it isn't that kind of a thing. I've never slept with him --" at Jim's disbelieving look he added, "-- just sleeping, the kind with snoring, something us mere mortals do -- maybe you've heard of it? I've never even been to his place, for god's sake. It's supposed to be a secret tryst, Jim. We don't have slumber parties."
"Tryst? Seriously, Bones? Who says tryst?" Leonard could tell that Jim was on the verge of bursting into guffaws, but when he caught sight of Leonard's glower he appeared to realize that he was trying to ask a favor here and maybe laughing in Leonard's face wasn't the best way to get it. He struggled mightily and managed a straight face. "I swear, Bones, he'll be happy to see you. Who wouldn't be happy to get some unexpected sex with a gorgeous guy like you? Here you go!" and with that he pushed an overnight bag -- pre-packed, naturally -- into Leonard's hands, and then pushed Leonard himself right out the door, ignoring his loud objections.
Which is how, twenty minutes later, Leonard came to be standing on the bottom step of Christopher Pike's restored Victorian, metaphorical hat in hand. He was shifting from foot to foot, grumbling under his breath about goddamn obnoxious, oversexed, scheming, back-stabbing supposed-best friends, when suddenly the door opened. It was something of a surprise since Leonard hadn't knocked or rung the old-fashioned doorbell yet, or even made it up onto the porch. He blinked and in the sudden light spilling from the open doorway, he saw two men in a tight embrace.
One of the men was Chris, obviously, and the other one was -- Leonard squinted -- Philip Boyce. The Dean of Medical Students at the Academy, Chris's once-and-future CMO (if the scuttlebutt about Chris getting a new command was true), and by all accounts, Chris's closest friend.
It wasn't a wimpy A-shaped hug either, or one of those back-slapping pseudo-hugs that some people -- men, usually -- tried to pass off as the real thing. No, this was an up-close-and-personal, I-shaped full-body hug, both men gripping each other tight for a long moment before stepping back. Leonard felt a hard knot settle in his gut.
"Thanks for dinner," Boyce was saying.
"Well, it's the only way to get your ass out here to visit me," Chris returned, with obvious affection in his voice.
At that moment Leonard shifted his foot and a loose board let out a loud creak. He cursed at the treacherous plank and then looked up to find both Boyce and Christopher staring at him. He couldn't think of a single thing to say, so he just stared back.
Finally Boyce broke the awkward moment. "Chris, thanks again. I'll see you later," he said, then loped easily down the stairs. "Dr. McCoy," he said neutrally as he passed him.
Then it was just Chris and Leonard. God damn it, he knew this wasn't a good idea. He was going to kick Jim's ass. He wasn't ready to think about what he'd seen between Chris and Boyce. It was easier just to focus on Jim's role in this fiasco.
He turned to leave. "Leonard?" Chris's voice was puzzled, but there was no embarrassment or shame in it. Well, they'd never made any promises to each other, never even explicitly said that they were exclusive. It was his own fault for making assumptions. Typical, really, giving his heart away where it wasn't wanted. He never learned.
He didn't turn back around. "I'm sorry. Sorry. This was a bad idea. I didn't mean to intrude. I'm leaving now."
"Leonard, wait!" Now Chris's voice sounded urgent, worried. Leonard paused for just a second, and that was enough time for Chris to make his way down the steps to Leonard and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're not interrupting anything, and you're not intruding. Now what's going on? Not that I'm not glad to see you, but why are you here? Is something wrong? Did something happen to Jim?" Chris's voice sharpened with concern.
God damn it, this was a disaster. He just shook his head wordlessly.
"All right, look, I don't know what's going on, but it's freezing out here, so let's go inside. Whatever it is, we'll talk about it, okay?"
Slowly Leonard turned. He couldn't look Chris in the eye, but he climbed the steps and entered Chris's house for the first time. It was different than he'd expected, somehow. Homier. Masculine, but still welcoming. Chris's office at the Academy was sparse, strictly utilitarian. No personal items. Here, there were photographs on the walls, of people in Chris's life that he'd never talked about. Overstuffed furniture, polished hardwood floors, a cheerful fire burning in the fireplace.
Chris came in behind him and shut the door. "Quit gawking and sit down, Leonard. The furniture isn't going to swallow you whole, I promise." There was humor in his voice, but also a touch of... something he couldn't define. Unease, maybe? Curiosity? A blend of both? In any case, it was second nature to do what this man told him to do, so he took a seat in a leather armchair near the fire.
"Can I get you anything? Something to drink?" Leonard shook his head, and Chris sat down on the couch opposite him, rubbing his hands together briskly. "All right, then, straight to the point. What's going on? Why are you on my doorstep at - " he checked the chrono on his wrist " - 2200 hours, give or take? And with what looks like an overnight bag?"
Leonard groaned and buried his head in his hands. "It's Jim fault," he said, only it came out muffled, sounding like "sjimfaw." Luckily, Pike understood.
"Most things are," he agreed.
With that encouragement, Leonard lifted his head and launched into his explanation. Chris's eyes were twinkling as he started, and at the end, he threw his head back and let out a delighted laugh.
"Threw you out so he could have a rendezvous with Gaila, huh?"
"Yeah -- hey, how'd you know her name? There's at least ten Orion cadets at the Academy."
Chris raised his eyebrow. "Exactly how oblivious do you think I am? I keep pretty close tabs on Jim, and even if I didn't, his pursuit of her hasn't exactly been subtle. Climbing onto the roof of the physics building and singing his magnum opus 'I'll Die If You Don't Have Sex With Me, Gaila' might have been a tipoff."
Leonard snorted. He'd forgotten that little act of tomfoolery. Then he sobered. "So, you and Commander Boyce have -- uh -- something going?" It sounded idiotic in his own ears. Chris looked at him with a piercing gaze that saw far too much.
"No, we don't. We're just good friends." He hesitated a moment, which was so un-Chris-like that Leonard was instantly on alert. "Actually, I haven't been with anyone else since you and I started seeing each other."
Leonard tried not to let his overwhelming relief show on his face, and just nodded. Chris cleared his throat. "So, what about you and Jim? Do you two..." He trailed off, apparently not sure how to end the sentence.
"No, absolutely not. Just good friends." At this, Chris's posture relaxed and Leonard suddenly realized how tense he'd been. "Wait -- you thought Jim and I were...?" Leonard had no idea how to end the sentence either.
"Well, you two are practically joined at the hip, and I know Kirk's not into monogamy, so I thought maybe you two had an open relationship or some kind of friends-with-benefits arrangement. I didn't figure it was my place to pry."
Leonard shook his head emphatically. "I haven't been with anyone else either, since we started this." Now there was unmistakable relief on Chris's face and the whole situation was so ridiculous that Leonard had to laugh.
"Good lord, we're a pair," he said when he could speak again.
"Yeah, I guess we are," Chris said, and suddenly the words were fraught with meaning. Their eyes locked, and Leonard could see there all that Chris couldn't verbalize, at least not yet. He nodded in return, and knew his own eyes were just as revealing.
"Get over here," Chris said, his voice husky as he spread his arms wide. Leonard wasn't quite sure of the logistics of the situation, but he straddled Chris's lap, tucked his head into Chris's shoulder, and breathed Chris's scent while strong arms came around him.
He sighed, letting out tension that he'd been carrying for months. This was what he'd needed. Not sex -- though he sure as hell wasn't complaining about that -- but intimacy, holding and being held. After a moment he mumbled into Chris's neck, "So, does Boyce know about us?"
Chris chuckled, and Leonard could feel it reverberating through his own body. "Yeah, he does. I never could hide a damn thing from him. He was on his way up to my office and saw you coming out of the admin building one day. When he saw me, he said, 'Well, Chris, you look well-fucked. This wouldn't have anything to do with the handsome and brilliant Doctor McCoy, looking equally debauched, on his way out when I was on my way in, would it?' What could I say? He'd know if I was lying, the bastard. Then he read me the riot act and said it was a one-in-a-million chance, getting a doctor of your caliber into his program, and if I fucked it up and you left Starfleet, he'd have my hide."
Leonard snorted against Chris's neck. "Good to know I have allies."
"That was his way of saying he approves. I'm glad. He... doesn't often approve of my partners."
"Have there been many?" Leonard meant it to come out teasing, but he was pretty sure Chris could read the insecurity underlying the question, and Chris's arms tightened around him a bit.
"No, not that many. I've always been too focused on my career to give much thought to my love life."
As the penultimate word crossed Chris's lips, Leonard stilled. He knew it was only a figure of speech, but still, it hung there between them, becoming more weighted with each passing second of silence. Chris didn't make any attempt to retract it, though, or to do anything else to gloss over what he'd said. It wasn't a straightforward declaration, though, and Leonard was unwilling to step out on this particular limb.
"Yeah, me either. There haven't been that many, I mean. I met Jocelyn and married her when we were both too goddamn young to know what we were getting into. And I never stepped out on her. When I make a commitment, I stick to it." There, that was suitably ambiguous. Chris could take it however he wanted.
"No, I know you wouldn't. You're an honorable man, Leonard," was Chris's thoughtful response.
"So why were you and Boyce - " Leonard broke off, but Chris followed his non sequitur.
"Why were we hugging like that?"
"Yeah." Now he was sorry he'd brought it up. It really wasn't any of his business.
"I have a dirty little secret, Leonard. I like hugs. It feels good, just to wrap my arms around someone I care about. There's precious few people I can do that with, though, because of my position and the image I've got to maintain at Starfleet. Philip is one of the few. He indulges me. And now you've got blackmail material on me, should you ever choose to use it." There was humor in Chris's voice, but it was underlain with a bit of embarrassment.
"Yeah, well, it'd be mutually assured destruction, because I'm the same way," Leonard said gruffly.
"Are you now?" Chris asked archly.
"Well, I'm sitting on your lap like a goddamn overgrown child, so what the hell do you think?" He nuzzled into Chris's neck to take away the sting of the words.
Chris ran his fingers through Leonard's hair, letting him know he'd gotten the message. "Hmmm. What I think is that we ought to take this to the bedroom."
Leonard nearly fell over in his haste to stand up. Chris laughed and steadied him. "Woah there. No rush. We've got all night."
Leonard looked at Chris. "You sure?" he asked uncertainly. He didn't want to impose, didn't want Chris to invite him to stay out of some sense of obligation.
Chris rolled his eyes with fond exasperation. "Yeah, Leonard. I'm sure. Come on, it's this way." He took Leonard's hand, led him down a narrow hallway and into a tidy bedroom that Leonard didn't get a chance to inspect because Chris was pulling him onto the bed and into his arms and kissing him and oh, that felt amazing.
It was slow and gentle, and entirely different from anything that had gone before. Chris removed each bit of Leonard's clothing, kissing the skin revealed, pausing occasionally to suck hard, leaving marks over his hipbone, his collarbone, and just below his jaw where his shirt wouldn't hide it. Leonard groaned and gave himself over to Chris's ministrations, relaxing back on the bed, limbs splayed.
He was so distracted by Chris's talented mouth that he didn't even notice the lube that Chris had produced until there was a slick finger exploring his opening, pushing in just a fraction and then pulling back to rub the ring of muscle. Leonard gasped. They'd never done this -- penetrative sex -- it'd always been hands and mouths or even, on a couple of occasions, rutting against each other and coming in their pants like teenagers. And Leonard had never done this, period. But he wanted it, wanted Chris's cock deep inside of him. Good lord, how he wanted it.
Chris seemed to sense his mood had shifted, because his hand stilled and he pulled his lips away from Leonard's. "Is this all right?" he asked, voice husky and sex-soaked.
"Yeah, yeah, it's good. Just -- go slow, all right?"
Chris nodded and moved his finger again, this time keeping his eyes on Leonard's face to gauge his reaction. He worked his finger in and out, getting deeper and deeper, as Leonard adjusted to the sensation. He added another finger, and then another, and Leonard groaned and twisted a bit at the stretch and burn. Chris was patient, gentle, working him with his fingers until Leonard was bucking back up against him, silently demanding more.
Then Chris pulled his hand away completely, and Leonard made a high whining noise in his throat, a sound he barely recognized as coming from himself.
Chris breathed a laugh and slipped his arms under Leonard's legs, lifting his knees up and back to give him better access. "Patience, baby. Just a second, I promise." He placed the blunt head of his cock at Leonard's loosened hole and started pushing in. Leonard instinctively tensed at the invasion. Chris made a soothing noise. "It's all right, honey. Relax. Let me in. You should see yourself. All spread out for me, so hot, so needy, so gorgeous. I'll take care of you. I'll make you feel good. Just trust me and relax."
Leonard was helpless to do anything but obey. No one had ever looked at him this way, with such ravenous hunger. Chris's eyes were dark with desire and as Leonard eased around him, he pushed in and began a slow rhythm of strokes, getting just a little deeper each time.
"Oh, fuck, Leonard, you're so goddamn tight. God, you feel even better than I imagined. You don't know how many times I've gotten myself off in this bed, thinking about sinking into your sweet little ass."
Leonard groaned at this admission and Chris grinned ferally. "That turns you on, does it? Hearing about me beating off while I'm thinking of you? I've done it in my office, too, on the days you couldn't come see me. Once in the bathroom of a restaurant where I was having dinner with Admiral Komack because I just couldn't wait any longer. I think about your mouth, too, when I jerk off. Those perfect, lush lips wrapped around my cock, you on your knees in front of me while I fuck your throat. I like you like that, on your knees for me."
Through all of this, Chris had been pushing deeper and deeper and now he was fully seated, his balls nudging against Leonard's ass. He twisted his hips, then, somehow pushing in even a little further, and moving his cock in a way that had Leonard rearing up off the bed and shouting. Chris smirked, then set up a slow, deep, punishing rhythm, hitting the same spot every time, until Leonard was babbling incoherently, wanting moremoremore. Chris kept going until the pleasure was shadowed with pain, the constant stretch of his rectum becoming an ache that was increasingly hard to ignore, only it just made everything better, somehow, and now he was making a noise that sounded like "Uh-uh-uh" in time with the vicious thrust of Chris's hips.
Chris's eyes were focused, more intent than Leonard had ever seen them, as he reached down and started fisting Leonard's cock. Between the push and pull of Chris's cock in and out of his ass, and the jerk and slide of Chris's hand on his dick, Leonard threw his head back and came, silently as he always did, and he involuntarily clenched his legs around Chris's body, pulling Chris deeper into him, before they fell open in his post-orgasmic collapse. Through it all, Chris continued fucking him, almost brutally, reaching for his own orgasm now that he didn't have to worry about Leonard's. He slammed into Leonard, over and over, his pelvis smacking hard against Leonard's ass and making both of them groan. Between one moment and the next, Chris's focused gaze slipped, his eyes glazed over, and then he was shouting wordlessly as his hips spasmed, pushing him as deep into Leonard as he could possibly go, while Leonard savored the previously-unknown sensation of a cock pulsing strongly inside of him, releasing a slick wetness that he could feel, a physical manifestation of Chris's claiming of him.
Chris collapsed onto Leonard, still inside of him, and his heavy weight, bearing Leonard down into the mattress, was a comfort and an anchor. Leonard wrapped his arms around Chris's back, hooked an ankle around the back of Chris's leg, and sighed contentedly. Chris murmured something incomprehensible into Leonard's neck and Leonard smiled at the buzzing sensation it caused against his skin.
When Chris began to roll off of him, he tightened his arms and made a noise of protest. Chris got the message and settled back in with a satisfied chuckle. "You're a cuddler, huh?" he asked.
"Don't hear you complaining," Leonard retorted.
"Hey, don't get defensive. I'm not complaining. It's nice."
Leonard subsided with a grumble and Chris nipped his neck in retaliation. Eventually Chris's weight became too much, so he nudged Chris's ribs and they rolled together to the side, still pressed together, Chris's cock slipping out of Leonard in a slick slide. They rearranged themselves until Leonard's head was cradled on Chris's shoulder, half his body flung over Chris's. They were sticky with sweat, spit and come, but Leonard didn't care, wasn't getting up anytime soon. In fact, he kind of liked it this way, both of them damp and reeking of sex. He lifted his head and kissed Chris and it was lazy, slow, and deep, the way post-coital kisses should be.
When they broke apart, Chris murmured, "If it gets me sex like this, Jim should invite people back to your dorm room every night."
Leonard toyed with Chris's chest hair, light brown shot through with silver. "Well, Jim doesn't have to have someone over for me to come here." He was uncertain of Chris's reaction, couldn't quite believe he'd actually even said it.
"Mmmm, that's true," Chris said in a contemplative rumble. "I think Jim's head might explode if you were getting laid more regularly than he was, which is of course a bonus."
Leonard let out a bark of laughter. Somehow Chris continually managed to surprise him. "Sounds like a worthwhile goal to me."
"Well, then stay again tomorrow night. Stay here every night this week. Hell, move in if you want to." There was a crooked smile on Chris's face, but his voice was serious.
Leonard peered into Chris's eyes, not knowing whether to take that invitation as a joke or not. Chris reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair out of Leonard's eyes. "You drive me crazy," he said quietly. "I can't stop thinking about you. I know I'm a pathetic middle-aged fool, but this pathetic middle-aged fool has fallen head over heels in love with you."
Leonard stopped breathing. His heart thundered in his ears, louder than anything he'd ever heard. For a moment he didn't know if he'd be able to respond but then suddenly, he found his voice. "Watch it with the insults. That's the man I love you're slandering."
Chris grinned, and Leonard'd never seen anything more beautiful. "Well, in that case, my deepest apologies."
"Yeah, you better be s--mph." Chris cut him off with a kiss, this one full of laughter and promise.
They subsided back into silence, holding each other, sometimes kissing and sometimes just smiling at each other, always pressed together, skin against skin, human warmth against human warmth. Yeah, this was a necessity. And now that he had it, Leonard was never giving it up.