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21 July 2010 @ 01:36 pm
Trek Fic: Walked On a Mile Or So, Pike/McCoy, R  
Title: Walked On a Mile Or So (Part 33 of To Talk of Many Things)
Authors: mga1999 and skyblue_reverie
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Pike/McCoy
Rating: R-ish
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Word Count: Around 9500 (!)
Summary: The correspondence and personal journals of Christopher Pike and Leonard McCoy. Picks up on the same day as the last part, and covers some of the same events.
A/N: From skyblue_reverie: OMG WITH THIS SECTION WE BROKE 200,000 WORDS. Wow. Dude. From mga1999: Look, I'm bringing you the gift of a long chapter on my birthday! Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Must be the senility kicking in.

Click on the gorgeous banner by the awesome fanarts_series for series masterlist with links to all prior parts:

Dear diary, my boyfriend and my best friend hate each other, what am I going to do???Collapse )

On to Part 34
jimpage363: Boldly gojimpage363 on July 22nd, 2010 05:42 am (UTC)
You have made Jim a hell of a man here. And Len deserves that friend as much as Jim deserves him. Lovely. And Chris is redeemable.
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 22nd, 2010 05:50 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you think Chris is redeemable. So many seem to think he isn't. I haven't thought for a second that he can't find a way to make things right eventually.

Jim, oh Jim. I heart Jim so much that I can't help it. He's so perfectly flawed that he is just sublime. /not biased at all

Thank you!
(no subject) - jimpage363 on July 22nd, 2010 06:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 08:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
claudia_nicclaudia_nic on July 22nd, 2010 06:03 am (UTC)
I'm kind of crying here. Because I feel so sorry for Jim and Chris and the mess they got themselfs into. And for Jim feeling so alone and crappy.But maybe now they can start working on getting over it :)
Sky: [star trek aos] bones healerskyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 08:07 pm (UTC)
*tons of hugs* Awww, I'm so sorry we made you cry! But hopefully they were good tears? Because yes, they are definitely going to work on fixing things now. :)

The human spirit is resilient. They'll all emerge from this even stronger than before. ♥
Weeping Naiad: ST: Kirk - Blueweepingnaiad on July 22nd, 2010 06:29 am (UTC)
Oh, Jim!

He needs and deserves someone that's all his own, but, sadly, I'm just not sure it'll ever happen. Even though this is AOS, I can see TOS!Jim creeping in here. Someone who's just a genius and so strong, wonderful, and intuitive, but who is ultimately alone.


Yes, I want to smack Chris because he trampled something dear and rare, but he's not a bad guy, just fairly oblivious and honestly not that emotionally mature. I think, hope? he'll get there for all their sakes and that he and Jim can come to some equilibrium, though I know he'll never have Jim's complete trust again.

Heartwrenching and gripping and so intense, but fabulous as ever, ladies!

Way to spoil us on Jude's birthday!


Sky: [star trek aos] pike mccoy uniformsskyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 08:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you, as always, for such delightful comments!

Re Jim finding someone: Yeah, it's hard to know! I honestly don't think he's ready for finding "the one," emotionally. He's only just learning to be emotionally honest with Bones, and I think it'd be much more scary to him to be emotionally honest to the level that's required in a romantic relationship, you know? Plus, just finding a second person that he's willing to let in to the extent that he trusts Bones. I personally think he might find that in Spock. But Jude's made it clear that that will be happening in this story OVER HER DEAD BODY, and since I kinda like her and want to keep her around, I've reluctantly decided that that's not an option. ;) So maybe he'll be like Pike - kind of a lone wolf until mid-life, and then BAM it'll hit him out of the blue? Or the TOS thing is always a possibility too, although that makes me sad to think about. So I won't. :P

Pike's getting there. He's made some stupid mistakes, but he's learning from them. Slowly. Glacially. ;)

I think he and Jim will definitely find and equilibrium, and in fact I think they'll get to be as close as they were before, if not closer. It won't be the same, it won't be as unbalanced and include so much hero-worship on Jim's side, but as Jude said above, that's probably a good thing.

I definitely see the Jim/Chris relationship (in this fic) as a father/son analog, and as I was telling Jude, imho one of the fundamental things about parent/child relationships, for better or worse, is the capacity of children to forgive their parents for a whole ton of shit. (well, and vice versa too, but in this instance the child's ability to forgive is more relevant.) Like, kids can suffer abuse, neglect, and a whole other range of lesser sins and still love their parents and crave their affection and approval. And even forgive them for all that stuff, with time.

I think part of the maturation process (and god knows I'm still struggling with this myself) is learning to have a more adult, nuanced view of your parents, realizing that they're humans with faults, learning to accept those faults and love them anyway. It's healthy to make that progression, I think. So I'm hoping that we can portray Jim and Chris going through that process. I'm sure it'll be a bumpy road, but you know us, we always fix things in the end. :)

Okay, phew, sorry to write a novel at you there! I always love your comments. They always make me think more deeply about what I'm writing, which is a good thing.

(no subject) - weepingnaiad on July 23rd, 2010 01:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
Renee M Romero: McCoyeasilymused1956 on July 22nd, 2010 09:59 am (UTC)
I'm late to the party! Jim needs to step up to Barnett, reiterate how good a captain he's been and call the Admiralty on their BS.

Chris needs to meditate. Spock should teach him.

Len, Len needs to get together with One and soon to be grandmother-in-law and discuss Chris. Maybe get some tips on handling him. Lalala

Great chapter, happy birthday (late, sorry) and congrats on 20K!

Sky: [star trek aos] pike mccoy enterpriseskyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 08:38 pm (UTC)
Awesome advice for all of them. You should be in charge of their lives, for serious! They'd get in way less trouble. :D

Jim needs to step up, but he also needs Chris on his side. Which I think, finally, he'll get.

Haha I love the thought of Chris meditating. Oh man, that would be hilarious. I can just see him in a transcendental meditation class and the instructor telling him to chant "om" and get in touch with the life force of the universe, and the absolutely withering glare Chris would give in return. :D

Poor Len, caught between two such forceful personalities! He's doing the best he can, but man, that's a tough situation. I think he can handle Jim easier because they're closer in age and they've been through so much together and learned to lean on each other. With Chris, in so many ways he's still got the power advantage over Len -- age, rank, experience, forcefulness personality, etc. So I think if Len tried some of the tricks that, for example, Chris's grandma uses, he'd get smacked down, hard. I'm not sure that Chris would be willing to take the kind of treatment from Len that he accepts from people he acknowledges as older and wiser. So Len's kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place -- he can't boss Chris around, but it's an awful idea to just submit all the time. So he kind of does some of each and often picks the wrong one in a given situation. :p He needs to find his own way to deal with Chris, I think, and it'll just take them both some time to figure out how that's going to work.

Anyway, sorry for the verbosity, and thank you for the lovely comment, and I join you in wishing happy birthday to Jude, and thanks for the congrats! :DDD

(no subject) - easilymused1956 on July 23rd, 2010 02:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
amine_eyesamine_eyes on July 22nd, 2010 11:05 am (UTC)
Ohhhhh! *sniff*

The scenes where Chris and Jim were working things out ... heart-breaking me dears!

The trust and fiendship that was between will never be the same again because both of them don't trust the other enough at this stage in order to do this, but hopefully, over time, it'll sort out into something better :)

I do love how this is playing out - it's not a quick fix (like we'd all like it to be), but like real life, it's taking time, it's hard, and it's not going to be done overnight, it's going to take a lot of work :)

Len's bluntness with Chris is also good aswell! I love how they're staying so much in character, and yet have this realism that makes you think that you're actually reading someone's life (Okay, that sounded freaky, I'll stop with that analogy)

Very, VERY well done with all of this! ♥
Sky: [star trek aos] jim coldskyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 08:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! ♥

You don't sound freaky at all. In fact, it's super-flattering that it seems so true-to-life to you!

hopefully, over time, it'll sort out into something better :)

YES. THIS. As I was saying above in response to weepingnaiad's comment, I think Jim and Chris need to move from a more immature father/son relationship of blind adoration on the part of the child to a more mature acceptance of each other's faults while still loving each other. They'll get there, it'll just take, as you said, time and hard work. :) Hopefully we'll do a good job of portraying that. *crosses fingers*
Charischarisstoma on July 22nd, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
I can't wait for you to reveal the session with Dr. Elliot. There is the poison in this ointment. Can't believe all the bias against Jim from Starfleet. Well, okay I can and that is one of the things that makes this story painfully good. The Chris/Jim interplay here is excellently wrenching and it's a good thing I have sleeves because I don't know where the tissues are. Jim's message to Len.. really need to go find those tissues.
Sky: [star trek aos] pike ruefulskyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 08:47 pm (UTC)
Poor Jim really has to deal with a lot of crap, doesn't he? Some of it in canon, and then of course we EVOL EVOL fic writers can't help but pile more on. Because he just breaks so beautifully, you know? And then we get to hug him and love him and fix him up.

Ahahaha sleeves. Shall we call you "greensleeves" from now on? :p

Thanks so much for the comment, bb! ♥
(no subject) - charisstoma on July 22nd, 2010 09:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 09:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
sangue: kirksulkycirca77sangueuk on July 22nd, 2010 07:14 pm (UTC)
Okay, this is the best installment ever. I FUCKING LOVE THIS SO MUCH.

*takes deep breath*

Okay there were tears, I admit it. I fucking love Jim Kirk so hard it hurts and you guys patently do too or you wouldn't have written him so in character but also so vulnerable and fucked up. The session with Pike was so powerful and emotional - that's where I cried - and Pike was amazing, unreservedly sorry, shit, it was beautiful. And the way Jim can't feel people's love for him is heart-breaking. I also loved the letter at the end - it beautifully sums up these two as friends, and from Jim's POV, why they click and why Kirk/McCoy has captured so many of our hearts slash or no slash.

I love you guys and I love this fic.

and for once, the Jim balance has been righted!
Sky: [star trek aos] jim contemplativeskyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 08:51 pm (UTC)
Awwww! We love you too, bb! *smish*

Is it wrong that I feel super-proud that we moved people to tears? Well, okay, I say "we" loosely. It was Jude. She'll try to tell you it was both of us, but don't listen. It was her. She wrote the Jim comm. I smoothed it out a bit, but she wrote it. Oh, and she wrote the Chris entry with the Jim-Chris meeting all by her lonesome. She's brilliant, no? So please, direct the adulation her way. :D

I'm glad the Jim balance has pleased you! Just don't get used to it.

Thank you for the gorgeous comment, bb! *hugs*

random00brandom00b on July 22nd, 2010 09:14 pm (UTC)
Two thoughts...
First off, McCoy is stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know the Kirks don't believe in "no win situations," but damn, McCoy might actually be in one. I feel so sorry for him here. I can't help but wonder who he would choose if it came down to that.

Secondly, I understand that I am a rare bird, someone who is not fond of Jim Kirk, so this probably colors how I read this. Anyway, the way that Chris Pike writes about Jim in his journal (Saturday 2260.188) read as a bit "Mary Sue"ish to me: Kirk is so together despite his background, so efficient, so intelligent, etc., etc. It could be because Pike thinks he's been a total ass and is compensating. *shrugs*
Sky: [star trek aos] jim bones high maintenanskyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 09:31 pm (UTC)
Re: Two thoughts...
Yeah, McCoy is in a tough spot, for sure. Me and Jude have definitely talked about who he'd choose if it came down to it. I think a lot depends on the circumstances. To me, anyway, whichever one made him choose by giving an ultimatum (directly or through his actions) would be the one to lose. But I go back and forth, and it's definitely evolved as the fic has gone on.

the way that Chris Pike writes about Jim in his journal (Saturday 2260.188) read as a bit "Mary Sue"ish to me... It could be because Pike thinks he's been a total ass and is compensating.

Yes, and yes. :D I agree with you on both counts. I'm with you in that I'm not a Jim-worshipper. I mean, he's not a bad guy, but he's not perfect, by any means.

As I've said in response to a couple comments above (stupid LJ has collapsed them I think), Chris and Jim have to work their way to a more mature relationship. Up until the big bust-up, Jim had a major case of hero-worship going for Chris. That's gone, for sure. Chris was a bit more realistic about Jim, I think.

But because he screwed up so badly, he's overcompensating, realizing all the good things about Jim without thinking about the countervailing flaws. To me, it's like... idk, when you break up with someone, and suddenly all you can think about are the good things about them, not the stuff that drove you crazy. It's not an exact analogy, but ykwim.

Also, as someone in a previous section pointed out (I think it was imachar), Len has a huge blind spot where Jim is concerned. His view of Jim isn't all that realistic. And I think, to some extent, Chris feels like he's ticked off Len so much with his treatment of Jim that he has to drink the kool-aid, so to speak, and get on board with Len's view of Jim if he wants to salvage his relationship with Len. (ETA: I don't think this is a conscious thought process for Chris, at all.)

That's not right, and it's not healthy, but these boys always seem to need to go to extremes before they find a happy medium. They'll get there. Eventually. :p

Anyway, that's how I read it, but Jude's the one who writes Chris, so you'd have to ask her if I'm right about any of this. ;)

In any case, thanks for your thoughtful comment!

Edited at 2010-07-22 09:42 pm (UTC)
Re: Two thoughts... - random00b on July 23rd, 2010 01:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Two thoughts... - skyblue_reverie on July 23rd, 2010 02:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Two thoughts... - imachar on August 2nd, 2010 09:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
indusnmindusnm on July 22nd, 2010 10:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, ouch. Poor Jim... man he needs to develop a good relationship with Spock soon, because Bones being happy with someone else, not being able to give him his full attention, is not going to be enough soon!

It's interesting that you mention Tarsus and Sam... are we going to see exactly what happened? What do you see as Jim's past?

Love this, thanks for posting!
indusnmindusnm on July 22nd, 2010 10:44 pm (UTC)
Oh and happy birthday! Mine is tomorrow!
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on July 22nd, 2010 11:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
drinking rum and writing some: Kirktherumjournals on July 23rd, 2010 12:13 am (UTC)
this was such a cathartic chapter! also, a great exploration of the friendship between jim and bones (in any verse...except for the ones where they're doin' it ;-)
Sky: [star trek aos] bones looking at jim b&wskyblue_reverie on July 23rd, 2010 05:07 am (UTC)
Thank you bb! :D I do love Pike and McCoy, but it's nice to get Kirk back in the story too.

Wonder if there's more 'verses where they're just friends, or more where they're doin' it? ;)
i'm all acesrace_the_ace on July 23rd, 2010 03:08 am (UTC)
"But now, our conversation is full of false starts and talking at the same time and "no, you go first"s and it's downright depressing."

My best friend and I had a falling out a couple of years ago, and even though we're talking again and everything's *almost* back to normal, this is still what it's like. False starts, No, you go first. It really does suck and it's terribly depressing, like nothing will ever be the same.

The arc with Bones/Jim just really speaks to me, it feels so real, like my own falling out did.

The writing is just so honest and brutal. It's amazing.

I love this story. Thanks for sharing it.

Sky: [star trek aos] jim & bones backsskyblue_reverie on July 23rd, 2010 05:19 am (UTC)
first, *hugs*. I'm sorry about your falling out with your friend. That's so difficult. :(((

But I'm very proud that this rang true to you. Honest and brutal is an amazing compliment, so thank you so much.

kelpietreekelpietree on July 23rd, 2010 10:12 am (UTC)
waa poor jim. i don't know who to feel more sorry for him, or chris.
Sky: [star trek aos] pike sadskyblue_reverie on July 23rd, 2010 02:18 pm (UTC)
Hee! Well, you don't have to pick. You can feel equally sorry for both. :D
imacharimachar on July 26th, 2010 01:36 pm (UTC)
Just had a chance to read...fairly quickly since internet access is limited...nice ladies...nice - I'm holding off on any other comment (sky will know exactly why) since we seem to have headed deep into Saint James territory....;)
Sky: [star trek aos] pike retireskyblue_reverie on July 26th, 2010 02:41 pm (UTC)
Hiiiii! Good to hear from you! Thanks for the comment, and yes, I totally understand, but you've got to read this comment thread that discusses the Saint James thing. :D
a particularly troubled Romulan: st:xispocklookingupillariy on July 29th, 2010 11:13 pm (UTC)

I'm so glad they're finally talking/writing. I just wish... Pike would find a way to get over this jealousy thing and they could include Jim fully... IDK IDK if that would even work but... *runs over to next part*
Sky: [star trek aos] pike mccoy uniformsskyblue_reverie on August 1st, 2010 12:53 am (UTC)
Aww, thanks bb! Hopefully they'll find a way to get there eventually. I am perpetually optimistic, but sometimes the boys (and my EVOL co-writer) have other ideas... ;)