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21 July 2010 @ 09:45 am
Trek Fic for Jude's bday: Don't Know What You Got, Kirk/McCoy, PG-13  
Title: Don't Know What You Got
Author: skyblue_reverie
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Kirk/McCoy
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Really, really embarrassing levels of sap and cliché.
Word Count: around 9200
Summary: Jim discovers something about Bones and reacts badly. Then circumstances conspire to make him feel REALLY REALLY GUILTY and he can't even tell Bones how sorry he is. OMG is it too late?????111
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anything whatsoever is purely coincidental.
A/N : Written for the fabulous & talented mga1999's bday. Hope it's a great one, bb! <3 Also, this (not-so-)coincidentally fills my hurt/comfort bingo square (spoilery content is spoilery): "telepathy (always there, but sudden trauma)". Many thanks to wemblee and ennui_blue_lite for suggestions and hand-holding.

Happy Birthday, Jude!Collapse )
How do I feel?: jubilantjubilant
Madeleine Urbanmadeleineurban on July 24th, 2010 01:40 am (UTC)
Aww. Sap sap. Me wuv.
Sky: [star trek aos] kirk/mccoy b&wskyblue_reverie on July 24th, 2010 02:34 am (UTC)
Hee, thanks. Super sap lovers, unite!
ennui_blue_lite: Random - a million more storiesennui_blue_lite on July 24th, 2010 02:56 pm (UTC)
So cute! So many buttons pushed!

I have a total adoration for, "Oh no, what have I done?" guiltfics, and you wrote this one just perfect. I think, what I liked best about it, was that Jim had every right to be angry with Bones. When you had Jim lay into Bones about the bond, even though it was easy to see how much he was hurting him, Jim didn't come off as a complete asshole - just as someone who's justifiably freaked out.

And there's so many great little touches: The physical construct of the bond (I kinda pictured Jim chasing a glowing pink ribbon in his subconcious :D ) Spock pulling the privacy curtain for Jim and Bones (your Spock was 100% pure awesome - blunt, but oddly gentle), Jim *irritating* Bones out of hiding, all of it.

And in the end, it just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, and I can always do with a little warm fuzziness. *adores, both you and your fic*
Sky: [custom] true love1skyblue_reverie on July 25th, 2010 02:41 pm (UTC)
Eeee, thank youuuuu!

Hee, once again I prove how similar our buttons are. Those "Oh no what have I done" guiltfics are one of my bulletproof kinks too. :DDD

You helped a lot with the balance of Jim's reaction, so thank you for that! It was tempting to just make him an unmitigated jerk, but as you pointed out, he really does have a right to be angry and upset.

Aww, bb, thanks for pointing out the bits you liked! I was kinda proud of Jim irritating Bones out of hiding, and you were the only one to mention it, so thank youuuuu! Also, I hardly ever write Spock so I always appreciate reassurance that he worked.

Hon, I am always happy to be your purveyor of warm fuzziness. *hugs* And in omg only a few hours I can give you REAL LIVE HUGS OMG!!!!!!!

blcwriterblcwriter on July 24th, 2010 03:12 pm (UTC)
Lovely. Of course.
Sky: [star trek aos] jim & bones backsskyblue_reverie on July 25th, 2010 02:38 pm (UTC)
Awww, thanks bb.
drinking rum and writing some: kirkbones cry starstherumjournals on July 26th, 2010 11:08 pm (UTC)
finally got to this one!

i loooove the premise! telepathic bones, awesome! and i love me some angsty k/m - "You transfer off the Enterprise. I don't ever want to see your face again. Got it?" oooh, it hurts so good!

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall - YES!!!!

and the end was soooo sweet, yay!
Sky: [star trek aos] jim & bones ponderingskyblue_reverie on July 29th, 2010 05:21 pm (UTC)
Eek! Sorry I missed this comment, bb!

Awww, thank you so much! I was looking at my h/c bingo card and that one jumped out at me. I had to do it. Initially I was thinking Jim would be the telepathic one since Bones always goes on and on about how wrong it is to muck about in people's brains, but then I thought it might be more interesting if Bones was a self-loathing telepath. More angst that way. ;)

Hee hee, the 99 Bottles of Beer was fun to write. Jim totally would irritate Bones out of hiding -- that concept was wemblee's, so I can't take credit for the idea. ;)

Yay for happy endings! I very rarely write any other kind. :D
this is not a thalia: ST: Sorted.thalialunacy on August 1st, 2010 02:22 pm (UTC)
I have tried to comment on this story like, eighty times. Or four, but still. Every time I just end up going only being able to write STORY GOOD UNG. So. I'm going to try again, lol. Because it's YOU and a ship I'll read so I need to tell you how awesome you are while I have the chance.

given her culture's taboos about opposite-sex relationships
A+ for using sci fi to turn taboos inside out for examination, however subtly you did it (I SEE ALL :P)

Jim's mind flew through possibilities, analyzing the best way to handle this situation.
SMART!JIM YESSSS. This whole story, he's smart and captainly and yet also bro-ish and adorable. And the first time I read it, I was all mad at Jim for overreacting, but by the end you see why, and it makes sense, and SEE ICON lol. It's a completely plausible -- nay, probable -- extrapolation about his character.

LOL @ 'with my brain', ngl. And I love Kirk trying to draw her into monologueing, but failing. XB

The Kirk-Spock interaction is GOLDEN. I stay away from writing/reading Spock because it's so easy to fuck up, but you nailed it, imho. And nailed it for AOS K-S, specifically.

"I don't accept that."
I'm pretty sure you didn't do this on purpose, BUT. That. Line. OH GOD. It's eerily like one of my favorite Mulder-loves-Scully-but-can't-show-it moments in the X-Files, which I won't describe in detail because it's spoilerific, but needless to say- GUH. My heart, it cracked.

Spock hesitated before answering. "I do not know, Jim."
Yeah, that sentence is a perfect example of what I said above. PERFECT Spock, perfect Spock-Kirk. And the pinch, lol. yesssss.

"Captain, the bond you share with the doctor is primarily... emotional in nature." Jim could tell he was valiantly attempting to cover up his distaste. Not really succeeding, but hey, points for effort.
And that just made me lawwwlz. Oh Spock, you and I are so much alike. XB

It hadn't always been perfect between them. He'd let Bones down; Bones had let him down. Even worse than dragging himself out of that ice pit on Delta Vega had been the knowledge that Bones had just stood back and let it happen. Not that he could've stopped it, but he didn't even protest. It took him a long time to forgive Bones for that. Bones knew it, too. They never discussed it, but he could see the pain and remorse in Bones' eyes. He'd hurt Bones, too, throwing himself into harm's way every chance he got, doing reckless shit even when it wasn't really necessary, forcing Bones to worry about him. Plus, of course, fucking every sentient being who showed an interest. He'd enjoyed it -- he liked giving pleasure to others, liked feeling pleasure himself -- but he'd known, on some level, that he was hurting Bones.

Bones looked at them, turned red, and crossed his arms over his chest. "You don't mean that," he said, with a mixture of doubt and hope.
Can this GET any more Bones? OR ANY MORE AWESOME?

Instead he turned to Spock, a broad smile on his face. "I did it!"
"Yes, Captain, I see that. Congratulations."

Seriously, I can, quite literally, picture this, as played by Chris and Zach. AND I LOVE IT.

And then you used 'supercilious'. MARRY ME PLZ.

I like feeling you with me, feeling your lo-- how you feel about me in the back of my mind.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. That their issues aren't immediately solved, that they don't magically become women start being able to express their emotions all the time, or even, perhaps, wanting to.

Sky: [star trek aos] jim & bones hands good gskyblue_reverie on August 2nd, 2010 03:17 am (UTC)
I'll have you know I've been making flaily hands over this comment all day. I don't even know how to respond to such generous feedback! Yes, yes, I will marry you. In fact, I kind of want to marry your comment too. You/me/your comment OT3!!! :DDDD

A+ for using sci fi to turn taboos inside out for examination, however subtly you did it (I SEE ALL :P)

Hee, you do see all! I'm really glad you caught that, and appreciated it.


:D I think genius!Jim who's totally clueless about emotional stuff is my favorite flavor of Jim. Although really, he tastes good in any incarnation or interpretation. ;)

LOL @ 'with my brain', ngl.

Ha! I love Firefly. I love River. "I can kill you with my brain." I miss Firefly. *iz now depressed*

The Kirk-Spock interaction is GOLDEN.

Eeeee, thank you SO MUCH. Like you, I'm super-nervous about writing Spock and often feel like I'm doin' it wrong.


*blushes madly* Awwww! You are too sweet. I've spent so much time trying to figure out how to rationalize Bones' failure to support Jim during the events of the movie (the marooning on Delta Vega and when Spock strangles him). I finally thought -- screw it, there's no excuse. Bones just fucked up. We all do it. He should've supported his friend, he didn't, it was wrong, they both know it, there were consequences for their friendship. But Jim's not perfect either, by a long shot, and they'll forgive each other for a whole hell of a lot. So I was trying to get that across and so glad I succeeded!

Seriously, I can, quite literally, picture this, as played by Chris and Zach.

omg I LOVE getting told that. Makes me feel like I've really gotten the voices right. So THANK YOU for that. :*

And then you used 'supercilious'. MARRY ME PLZ.

"Supercilious" is a great word, and totally underused. We should start a movement to bring "supercilious" greater exposure. And as I said above, yes I will marry you, as long as it can be a group marriage with your comment. <3

That their issues aren't immediately solved, that they don't magically become women start being able to express their emotions all the time, or even, perhaps, wanting to.

I so know where you're coming from, and at the same time, I'm so torn on this one. Sometimes I write emotionally stunted men who can't or won't discuss their feelings, but I often write men who are very emotionally open and do discuss feelings. I feel uncomfortable labeling either of those behaviors as "masculine" or "feminine", you know? Yet it's true that many men in our culture today do behave in a certain way and it's realistic to portray them that way. IDK. It's a dilemma!

Anyway, sorry to get all philosophical on you.

In summation, YOU FUCKING ROCK, BB. ♥♥♥
this is not a thalia: Politics: Keith's fingerthalialunacy on August 6th, 2010 01:46 am (UTC)
Oh man. Sometimes I forget that people can't read my mind, lol, nor have time to read every single lj entry I've ever made evar. So here tis in a nutshell.l I'm actually a born and bred feminist, and queer, and so I've spent a lot of my life thinking about gender and gender roles. Took me a long time to accept that I like wearing skirts, and having long hair. I use the terms masculine and feminine like I use the words blonde or blue-eyed. they're just descriptors, no judgement of right or wrong or power or weakness. Just differences. EXCEPT -- when it comes to characterizations, I like it when people work with what we're given, whether that's gender-based or not. Kirk and Bones don't talk about feelings. If we go by words, McCoy's nigh on verbally abusive, and Kirk's an idiot. But of course we don't, we go on actions and omg I'm sick of listening to myself talk lol LET'S GET BACK TO THE PORN.

:slinks off:
Sky: [other] burning heartskyblue_reverie on August 2nd, 2010 03:19 am (UTC)
Oh, AND. I totally did not know about the X-files line, but I'm so glad that it resonated for you! I love that, when I do stuff accidentally that has more meaning than I realized. <3
(no subject) - thalialunacy on August 6th, 2010 01:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
Amarin Roseamarin_rose on August 2nd, 2010 06:32 pm (UTC)
You know, of course, that we all want to know what happens next. And I, for one, would like to see the prequel where they slept together, from Bones' POV. But right now, I'm just going awwwww. Bones has a charmingly fluffy mental meadow!
Sky: [star trek aos] jim & bones ponderingskyblue_reverie on August 4th, 2010 11:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, I am sorry that it took me so long to respond to this comment!

First let me say: OMG LAST UNICORN. I LOVE THE LAST UNICORN. Favorite childhood movie, hands down. Well, along with The Secret of NIMH. *le sigh*

And now, thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed. Hmm, I'm tempted to do more in this 'verse because I love the thought of telepathic!Bones so very much. I'll add it to the mental backburner and see what happens. :)
Amarin Roseamarin_rose on August 6th, 2010 08:58 am (UTC)
I love The Last Unicorn too. And oooh, Secret of NIMH! Loved that too.

And I'd definitely like to see more telepath!Bones. I imagine he's got some stories to tell.