?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
15 July 2010 @ 11:38 am
Trek Fic: It's Very Rude of Him, She Said (Pike/McCoy, PG-13)  
Title: It's Very Rude of Him, She Said (Part 32 of To Talk of Many Things)
Authors: mga1999 and skyblue_reverie
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Pike/McCoy
Rating: PG-13ish (for bad words :O)
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Word Count: Around 4700
Summary: The correspondence and personal journals of Christopher Pike and Leonard McCoy.
A/N: From skyblue_reverie: Here's the (first) Jim part, early, just for you guys who will be without internet and/or who bribed us with virtual cheesecake. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. ;) From mga1999: The 116 degree heat has melted my brain. What is this supposed to be?


Click on the gorgeous banner by the awesome fanarts_series for series masterlist with links to all prior parts:






To: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)
From: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)

Chris:

Goddamn it, your goddamn therapist, the one who calls herself a couples counselor, is responsible for the shit that's been going on with Jim. I swear to god I'm going to have her license for this. She actually told Jim that his friendship with me was "dysfunctional" and that he needed to back off for the sake of my relationship with you. Can you believe that bullshit?

I want to throttle her -- giving any "advice" or even worse, goddamn commands, is not what therapists are supposed to do, and especially not to someone who's not even her patient. I can't believe she had the unmitigated gall to instruct Jim to distance himself from his best friend when she doesn't know what Jim's psychological background is. It's the worst thing she could have done to him, and he's been in hell.

Since you're officially her patient, I'll need you to be the one to file a complaint against her. I can write it up, though, put in all the technical terminology to make sure she never practices again. She shouldn't be allowed to fuck with anyone's head the way she did Jim's, and I'm going to make sure she never does again.

I'll comm you later and we can talk about it.

Love,
Len



Personal Journal of Leonard H. McCoy

Thursday 2260.186

I can't remember when I've ever been this angry. Chris's goddamn "couples counselor" is responsible for Jim's behavior over the last several months. When she vidcommed with him, way back in February, she actually told him that his friendship with me "might be a little dysfunctional" and that it might be in everybody's best interest, especially mine and Chris's, if he gave me some space.

She had absolutely no right to do that. She doesn't know the first thing about Jim, about his needs and his background and how screwed up he is about relationships. I'm practically the only person in his life that he trusts, and Chris is another, and to have this incompetent hack tell him that he had to let us both go is the worst, the goddamn worst thing she could have done.

I've never seen Jim's eyes as wide as when I let loose with what I thought of her and her "advice" after he finally 'fessed up as to why he'd been pulling away. He was actually trying to defend her, said maybe she was right. Unbelievable. He said it was his fault that he interpreted her words the way he did and tried to cut me out altogether.

It's not his fault, though, and if she'd had the first clue about Jim's psychology, she would have known he'd react that way. Of course, she didn't, because she didn't bother to find out before she told him that his friendship with me was actually hurting me. As if I'd ever actually want Jim to pull away from me, much less "for my own good." All she did was give credence in Jim's mind to his feelings of worthlessness and trigger his goddamn noble, self-sacrificing streak. She shouldn't be permitted to practice, and I'm going to make sure she doesn't. I've already commed Chris - he can file a complaint against her with my help that'll get her up before the ethics board before she can blink. With testimony from all three of us, they should pull her license. God help 'em if they don't.

There's more to Jim's behavior -- some jealousy about Chris's and my relationship, feeling like he'll never have something like that, insecurity over his place in my life now that I'm with Chris. Nothing we can't work out if he would actually talk to me instead of clamming up. Which I told him, in no uncertain terms.

I'm too pissed off right now to focus on anything else, so I'm going to sign off for now. I think I'm going to go for a run. I need to burn off some of this anger or I'm liable to take it out on everyone around me, and right now that's Jim. That's the last thing he needs right now.



To: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
From: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)

Len:

Now wait a minute. Before you go off on one of your tirades and ruin someone's career, stop and think for a moment. You've only heard Jim's side of the story and you know how he can be. I think it's only fair to hear what Dr. Elliott has to say. Since she records all of her sessions, there is proof of what was really said. She is one of the top couples counselors on Earth. Heck, people come from other worlds to hear her speak at her seminars. Dr. Rossen recommends her highly.

I know you never liked her, but I trust her. Maybe she's right. And like you said, with Jim's psychological background -- I think after you calm down and find out what really happened, you'll think differently.

I just tried to comm you, but you didn't answer. I just finished lunch and the rest of my day is completely booked until 2100. I will comm Dr. Elliott right now and ask for a copy of that session -- Of course, Jim will have to give permission -- My guess is he won't agree since he knows what the truth really is.

Don't do anything impulsive, Len. She's a highly respected therapist and it wouldn't look good for you to file an unwarranted complaint.

Please. Consider your career and how something like this would be dragged all over the press.

Dammit, I don't have time to worry that you're going to go off and do something while you're half-cocked. I have to run. I was due in a meeting with the other Admirals five minutes ago. We'll talk tonight. Why don't you take a walk so we can talk privately around 2200.

Miss you,
Chris



To: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)
From: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)

Chris,

You've got to be fucking kidding me. I know how Jim can be? What the hell does that mean? And you doubt that Jim will give permission to release the recording of the session because you think it won't support what he told me? You just accused Jim of lying. You, who used to love Jim like a son, who was one of the few people on earth who believed in him, just told me that he's a fucking liar. I don't even know what to say to you right now.

And your concern in this situation is what the goddamn press will say if they hear about it? Your priorities are so screwed up I don't even know where to begin.

I wasn't going to go off half-cocked and of course I was going to listen to the session before I took any action -- I need to know exactly what that quack's words were so I can shove them up her ass. But unlike you, I know damn well that when I listen to that recording it's going to confirm exactly what Jim told me. I can't fucking believe that I have to defend Jim to you.

I take that back. Of course I can believe it. It's your goddamn jealousy getting the better of you again. Well let me tell you this: if you think I'm going to back off from supporting Jim because you're in another snit over my friendship with him, you've got another think coming.

I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk right now. I was out for a jog earlier when you commed, trying to calm down, but that's just been blown out of the water. Don't bother comming me tonight. I won't pick up anyway.

Len



To: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)
From: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)

Chris:

Here's a signed authorization from Jim and I to release any of the sessions we had with Dr. Elliott. You'll need to sign it too, obviously. Does this make you rethink your ridiculous accusations against Jim?

In case you were wondering, I told Jim I needed it to build a case against her with the ethics committee. I didn't tell him that you needed it for confirmation before you'd even believe him. The last thing he needs right now is to know that you think he's a damned liar.

Len

Attachment: Authorization to Release Confidential Medical Information



To: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
From: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)

Oh come on, Len. Aren't you overreacting? I don't have the time to deal with this. I've signed the authorization form and forwarded it to Dr. Elliott. I also asked her to comm me after 2100 if she has the time. You're lucky Admiral Archer has such a weak bladder or I wouldn't have even been able to forward it and reply to you. I have to go back in now. I will comm you tonight and we will discuss this.



To: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
From: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)

Len,

Since I've been calling for an hour, and neither you nor Jim will pick up, I'm hoping you'll read this.

First of all, let me just say that I'm sorry. I could make a bunch of excuses that I was busy and don't think well about things like this when I'm rushed -- You wouldn't believe the shitstorms in the Admirals' meetings today. But you know that about me. At least, I hope that you would by now.

I wasn't calling Jim a liar, Len. I simply meant that Jim has his own way of interpreting things compared to most. You know that. That's what I meant. He could be right, but he also could be wrong. Do I want him to be wrong? No, of course not. Sure, I'll be honest, there is part of me that does, but not for the reasons you might think. If he's not wrong, Len, then this is all my fault. I caused all the tension between you two, all the worry you've had over him. Me. My fault. And yes, it would be my fault that Jim has gone through all he has the last four months. That's a lot to swallow. You know I would never intentionally cause hurt to either one of you. But damn, it seems that's all I do sometimes.

If I had been able to talk to you, I would have told you that I talked to Richard last night at the party. We took a walk, and then sat on a bench by the water. I actually talked to him, Len, and told him some of my issues with Jim and a few other things. It helped. He had some great advice, yet what do I turn around and do less than twelve hours later? Fuck it all up as usual.

You wonder why I'm not close to other people? Well, this is the reason. I'm not good with emotions, or thinking before I speak or act. I just react, Len. In a tactical situation, it works to my advantage. In a personal one -- Well, it doesn't work very well. You may yell and scream, but at least you are still thinking with your heart. Sometimes, I'm not even sure I have one. I think at times that you are the only reason I'm even human.

It's almost midnight and I'm tired. I'm drunk. I have meetings starting at 0500 tomorrow with Starfleet Intelligence, inspection of the repairs of the Exeter in the afternoon, and then more meetings, the last ending at 2200. I do have a long lunch scheduled with Richard. I'm going to keep my comm off most of the day so I don't do something stupid again. But I'll turn it on during lunch if you decide to reply. I won't have it on voice though, as it will unfortunately be a working lunch.

I love you, Len. Again, I'm sorry.

Chris



Personal Journal of Christopher R. Pike

Thursday 2260.186

Fuck. This might be my shortest entry yet. I'm tired. I've had too much wine. I screwed up today with Len. At least I'm consistent in my failures with him. And this time I've managed to fail Jim too.

I could sit here and write a post-mortem but I'm not going to.

I am more than tempted to clear my schedule and beam over there tomorrow, but I know that would probably only make things worse.

I need to just wait. At least I hope that's the right thing to do.

Fuck.

I'm going to have another glass of wine or maybe open another bottle. I doubt I'll be sleeping tonight, but I'm going to try. I'll need my wits tomorrow to deal with the asshats in Starfleet Intelligence.



Personal Journal of Leonard H. McCoy

Friday 2260.187

Chris and I just had yet another blow-out fight over Jim. Will we ever be able to get past this issue? Is there something I should be doing differently, or is the fault on Chris's side? God damn it, I hate this. My ring's sort of a muted yellow-brown, almost like a topaz. I'm not sure what that means Chris is feeling, but judging from our correspondence, it isn't anything good.

Anyway, it's a good thing I shut off my comm unit for the day after I sent Chris that authorization form yesterday. If I'd read his first comm in response, I would have lost it completely. I almost did this morning when I read it, but then luckily I read his second comm right afterwards and it calmed me down. Oh, who am I kidding, it melted me. He admitted he was drunk when he wrote it though, and I'm not surprised, because I can't imagine him saying those things without some substantial lowering of his inhibitions. Of course, with all the meds he's on, he could have put himself into a goddamn coma by drinking that much. But he knows that as well as I do, and he's made it crystal clear that he doesn't want to hear from me about his health, so I'm going to bite my tongue.

I'm not buying his line about not thinking Jim was lying, though. He did. He didn't think it was a misunderstanding. He said that he'd bet that Jim wouldn't give authorization because Jim knows "what the truth really is." He was saying that Jim was telling me something that wasn't true, and that Jim knew it wasn't the truth and would take action to cover it up. In my book, that's lying. He actually thought Jim was lying. That upsets me more than anything, because it means the trust between them is broken. Shit. And here I thought they were repairing their relationship.

I didn't tell Jim that Chris didn't believe him, but Jim did ask me yesterday how Chris had reacted when he'd heard what Elliott said, and I had to hedge. I told him that Chris wanted some time to think about it and wanted to hear the session before he decided what he wanted to do. But Jim's a goddamn genius and far too perceptive for his own good, and I think he knows that Chris doubted him. He just kind of nodded though, didn't say anything.

Shit. At least Jim and I are talking again. Last night, by mutual unspoken agreement, we didn't talk about any of this crap with Elliott. We talked about how he's feeling about his captaincy, two years in, what he thinks he's doing right and wrong, his assessment of the strengths and weaknesses of some of his crew. I'm one of the only people he can talk to about things like that, since I'm not part of the bridge crew, not really in that chain of command, and he knows I'll keep my mouth shut about anything he tells me. He also knows I'll give it to him straight, give him my honest opinion if I think he's dead wrong or has his head up his ass about something.

We talked about some of the missions that have gone wrong, crew he's lost and patients I've lost. He tried to tell me none of the patients I've lost were my fault and I tried to tell him he wasn't at fault for the crewmembers who died on away missions. Neither of us believed the other, but somehow it helped anyway.

He also told me about some of the clashes he's had with Starfleet brass over the past several months. Quite a few of the admirals think that he's too young and brash, too arrogant and impulsive to be a starship captain. They actually think he got lucky when he saved the earth. Lucky. Unbelievable morons, each and every one of them. Jim's the most brilliant person I've ever met, bar none, and yeah, that includes Chris. His intelligence is so far beyond most people's that it looks like he's pulling answers and ideas out of his ass, but he's not. He's pulling together thousands of pieces of information -- the kid absorbs absolutely everything -- he's correlating data, finding patterns where no one else would, and coming up with conclusions that are nothing short of genius. I have no doubt that one day he'll be recognized as the finest captain that Starfleet ever produced. He's going to be in the history texts. But right now, these shortsighted idiots are trying to clip his wings. Why can't they see that with the Federation as weak as it is now, we need bold, decisive leaders, not the same dithering idiots who got us into this mess?

Anyway, Jim didn't say so in so many words, but I know it's been much harder for him these last several months because he's felt like he can't go to Chris for help with this bullshit. I don't know what to tell him about that. I did tell him that I have confidence that no matter what crap they throw at him, he's going to come through with flying colors and make them look like incompetent fools in the process. He grinned at that and damn, that felt good.

We even talked some about Chris -- not about the stuff with Elliott, just about the engagement, and vague ideas for the wedding, and he gave me the third degree to make sure I was really happy with Chris and that Chris was treating me right. He made me promise to never tell him anything about our sex life, not that I would have anyway. We talked until late at night -- well, technically, early in the morning, and when we were both yawning and could barely keep our eyes open, we said goodnight. He clapped me on the shoulder and said "I've missed you, Bones." I said, "Yeah, see if you're still singing the same tune next time you need a hypospray," but I think my smile gave me away.

We slept in late -- until about 1000 hours. Then we had breakfast. I made vegetable omelets, hashbrowns, and pancakes, and I made sure Jim ate plenty of everything. He said I was trying to fatten him up so the chicks wouldn't dig him. Yeah, that'll be the day. Whenever he's under stress his hunger mechanism just shuts off. Given his job, that pretty much guarantees that he's never going to have a problem with his weight -- well, not with being overweight, anyway. Right now he's still skinnier than I'd like.

Anyway, Chris has got to be pretty damn uncomfortable right now, waiting for my response to his comms, so I'll write him back and put him out of his misery. Then I'm going to shut off my comm unit and go for a hike with Jim. This time is supposed to be about me and him, not my neverending issues with Chris, and not Dr. Elliott, may she suffer a massive breakout of Bolian fire-warts.



To: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)
From: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)

Dear Chris,

Look, I don't want to fight. We've only got a few more days together and I'd rather not spend them with us pissed off at each other. Talk to Elliott. Listen to the recording. Then we'll know and we won't have to speculate or argue about it.

I'm glad you talked to Richard and got good advice. I'm glad you're working on this stuff. Of course you have a heart, and no matter what it turns out happened, this shit with Jim was not your fault. If anything, it's mine because I should have put two and two together and realized that he started acting strange right after he talked to Elliott. Of course, he also should have told me what she said, and most of all, she shouldn't have said it in the first place. Don't take this on your shoulders, Chris.

I'll talk to you later. I love you.

Yours,
Len



Personal Journal of Christopher R. Pike

Friday 2260.187

I'm sitting in my quarters on Exeter right now. I just needed a little time to myself. I'm 'working' but taking a few minutes to get some thoughts out before I take Sato's or someone else's head off who doesn't deserve it.

I drank way too much last night. I haven't been that drunk in a long time. It didn't help that every time I looked at my ring today, it was green. A bright beautiful fucking green. Of course, that was a nice change of pace from the red I saw most of yesterday. I'll admit, I turned the ring around so all I could see was the band. It was too distracting in meetings.

Yes, it bothers me seeing that he's so happy with Jim. And it bothers me even more that I feel like that. I don't WANT to feel like that. I really don't know what to do. Right now, it's still green. I wonder what color mine shows when I feel like this. I'll have to ask him.

I had to take a minute and go outside and get some air at lunch after I read his last comm. Relief doesn't even begin to explain how I felt. I don't want to fight with him either, and didn't even realize I was starting one. But of course I was. I basically called Jim a liar and expected Len to side with me. And because he didn't, it only made it worse.

I meant what I said in my comm to him, though. I didn't mean to call Jim a liar. I really do feel like he has always bent whatever he hears to suit him. He was that way at the Academy. Always challenging, always twisting words and rules to work in his favor. The truth, though, is he doesn't miss a damn thing. He can repeat back exactly what someone says. I know this too. I just didn't want it to be true, and yes, I'll admit that part of me liked the fact that Len and Jim have been estranged a bit. The other part of me though -- Well, it makes me sick to my stomach.

Richard and I had about thirty minutes alone at lunch today and I told him how I'd epically screwed up again. He told me I needed to stop beating myself up over it. It takes time. He wouldn't tell me how much time it took him -- He told me it might be discouraging to me. But one thing he reiterated is that I can get over it. He suggested that I treat it like a mission plan. What would my strategy be? What can I do to prevent myself being an idiot? -- Well, that's probably not possible for the near future. He has a good point though about giving it time, and I need to remind myself that I'm relentless in making things work. If it means groveling at Len's feet, and even Jim's, well, I'll make sure I wear kneepads when I go to brunch with them on Sunday. I'll do whatever it takes.

I think I'm going to stay on the Exeter tonight. I'll sleep better with the hum of the ship, even in spacedock, than alone in our bed at home. I have meetings there first thing in the morning anyway. I'll comm Len and let him know he doesn't need to rush back. I'll see him at home late tomorrow afternoon.

Regardless, I'm going to cook a special dinner for him tomorrow night. I've already ordered everything I need and it will be delivered shortly after I arrive home. I'm certainly not going to let what could be our last few nights of shore leave together go to waste.



Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
From: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)

Len,

You have no idea how relieved I was to get your comm. I'm not going to rehash it, because I don't want to fight either.

I'm on the Exeter right now. Meetings were hell at HQ today and I think I'm going to stay here tonight where I'll hopefully sleep better.

I have meetings scheduled until 1300 tomorrow, so you and Jim don't have to rush back. Spend another morning and afternoon there. I'll be back at our apartment about 1700. I've ordered groceries to make a special dinner and we'll talk.

I love you, and again, for what it's worth, I'm sorry.

Chris



To: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)
From: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)

Len,

Dr. Elliott just commed me on the Exeter. She is off planet right now, but forwarded the authorization to her staff. She said we should have what we're asking for by midweek.

She did confirm to me -- Well, Jim was right. In fact, Jim may have even whitewashed it a bit for you. She's very adamant that she thinks Jim is 'poison' for our relationship. Honestly, I have to agree, in some ways, since a hell of a lot of our problems stem from my jealousy issues with Jim.

For the record, Len, I don't expect you to cut Jim out of your life. I don't want him out of mine either. I don't know what the answer is. I really don't. I want to believe that over time -- Hell, I don't even know what to say right now and I'm about to go into a meeting with my command crew.

I'm sorry, Len. I owe you and Jim -- Hell, there is no way I can make amends for this. If Jim never wants to speak to me again, I would completely understand. I'm just grateful you still are.

Love,
Chris



To: Christopher Pike (cpike@starfleet.gov)
From: Leonard McCoy (lmccoy@starfleet.gov)

Chris,
I'm -- well, I don't know if "glad" is the right word, but thanks for letting me know that Elliott confirmed what Jim said. And the fact that she called him "poison" -- I'm not sure I can explain to someone who's not in the profession what a serious breach of ethics that is. That she's got you agreeing with her is only one of the reasons that therapists aren't supposed to express opinions like that. Her job isn't to tell you, or anyone, what to think and feel, it's to help you figure out your own feelings and lead you to your own conclusions. She's in a position of power and influence over you as your therapist, whether it feels that way to you or not.

She's abused her power in a really goddamn serious way, Chris. And it's had a real, seriously negative effect on all three of us. That's not all right.

I also wanted to let you know that Jim knows you thought he was lying. He asked me flat out whether you believed his version of what happened with Elliott, and I wasn't going to lie to him. It hurt him, Chris. It hurt him a lot. Whether you can make make things right with him -- hell, I don't know.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Love,
Len




On to Part 33
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
Jude: st - pike/mccoy - cap & drmga1999 on July 16th, 2010 06:52 pm (UTC)
Yes, poor everyone! There there. It will be okay... Someday. :D
Weeping Naiad: ST: Kirk - Blueweepingnaiad on July 15th, 2010 07:06 pm (UTC)
Well, I hope 'Dr.' Elliot loses her license and isn't allowed to give a rat advice! Bitch.

I knew that she'd been the cause, but it didn't make it any easier knowing that because I knew how bad Jim was feeling. *hugs Jim*

Chris surprised me. I mean, I get it. He doesn't think clearly when it involves Len and he's a bit of a Neanderthal about Len anyway, but to practically accuse Jim of lying? Ouch.

And, you know what? That disconnect really hurts. Kicked me in the gut because I'm not sure that there's a solution and Len's going to be stuck in the middle, torn between the two.

Damn. Now I've gone and made myself terribly sad.

Fix it, bbs! Please? *wibbles*

As you well know I love this and love these three so much that I just want them to work it out and be happy. *sigh*

Lovely as ever!
*hugs*
WN

Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 06:58 pm (UTC)
Awww, I'm sorry you're sad, bb. It will be okay. Someday. *g*

Chris, poor Chris. I don't think he even realises what he's doing sometimes and then afterwards is like, oh, um, SHIT. I can only imagine what it would be like to be one way for over fifty years and then to suddenly fall in love and have to learn some things all over again to some extent. He'll get there. Eventually. I have faith. Of course, it might be hell getting there... *whistles innocently*

*smooches*

sexycazzy: Kirksexycazzy on July 15th, 2010 07:10 pm (UTC)
OMG! OMG!

That...that...wasn't what I expected!

Poor Jim!

For once...I'm speechless! I so want to express the words I have in mind about that...that therapist and let me tell you, they are not nice words!

But I really, really, really hope that Len and Chris do sort this out somehow and that Chris and Jim does really need to talk!

(hugs Jim, hugs Len, hugs Chris and I need someone to hug me, too! lol)
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:01 pm (UTC)
*gives you a hug*

I think if the therapist could see all these comments, she'd be high tailing it on the first shuttle to deep space away from everyone.

Don't worry. There will be sorting. And talking. And more talking. None of them are going anywhere, nor are we. Well, cept for me on vacation. *g*
zauzatzauzat on July 15th, 2010 07:14 pm (UTC)
Lovely chapter. Chris's drunken letter was very touching. The to and fro over the therapist kept the tension high right through the chapter. Poor Jim! I can't help feeling that Chris is still failing him. It sounds as if Chris would be relieved if Jim refused to ever speak to him again, whereas what Jim seems to need is an ally and adviser at HQ. Chris needs to do better than this.
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Yes, Chris needs to do better than this. Hopefully after all of this, he's going to realise a few things. I think it's true that part of Chris would be relieved if Jim wanted nothing to do with him, but he'd also be pretty sad. Conflicted he is, but unfeeling he is not.

Now, I'm going to stop before I talk in more Yoda speak. Yoda, that's who Jim needs. His own Yoda! <3
...a kind of sweet metaphysical blur...: captainmccoyhitlikehammers on July 15th, 2010 07:34 pm (UTC)
There are things; things I could say about how the emotion in this is beautifully conveyed and gorgeously, vividly woven into the prose, as always, or about how you once again manage to so epically and honestly portray what it means to have a relationship that's not necessarily "healthy" all of the time, or even most of the time (and strangely, in that way, is sometimes more "healthy" than any other kind of relationship). Or perhaps I could say things about how well you depict these characters for what they are, flaws and all, and how true you make their interactions with each other, and their reactions -- how you don't gloss over the incredible and unavoidable ways that these two men don't click and don't work together very well, in conjunction with how well they do; and how that, in turn, adds a whole new level to just how important they are to each other, in the end, with how much they're willing to forgive and try to work through for one another. Not to mention how much it says about the nature of their relationship, and how it's grown, and where it still has room for considerable growth. It's all just... so beautifully and perfectly done, every time, and I could say so many things about all that, you know. I could. But I'm not going to.

(Notice how I just said all of those things anyway.)

Know why I'm not going to? Because you just PISSED ME OFF INTENSELY at Dr. Elliott, oh hells to the NO. As a psych-gal-in-training, that's just all kind of NO THANK YOU BAD COUNSELING YOU DUMB HAG, and now I am angered and indignant and think people like her who unfortunately aren't fictional are the reason that the scientific community still has issue with psychology, and thus still forces us at times to insert our findings into neuroscience literature to be taken seriously. Face-freaking-palm, Dr. Elliott. Face-freaking-palm

Okay, I'm good now. Ignore that last bit; or else, take from it what it was intended to convey: that you wrote this particular plot-twist with Jim extraordinarily well and evoked great emotion with it (as usual) :D
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
You know, when skyblue_reverie asked me this morning if I wanted to answer comments for this one, my first thought was, *meep* TOO MANY THOUGHTFUL AMAZING WONDERFUL INSIGHTS from readers, and I hadn't even seen the recent ones yet. Talk about PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. *g* But, I'm crazy and my replies are lame anyway so I said, sure, as long as my power doesn't go out I'LL DO IT.

I'm really glad you didn't say all those things because then I'd have to come up with a reply - oh wait, you did.

So I'll just say, that I'm so glad that everyone seems to enjoy the flaws and the messiness of these two. Because it's so much fun to crawl around in their heads. And yes, while they are still both far from perfect, would we really want them to be anyway? Yes, they screw up, but they really have grown despite the setbacks, and bumpy parts, and in the end, they will be better for it. I for one always get incredibly sad when people give up when it gets bumpy.

Yes, Dr. Elliott certainly doesn't have any fans. In my mind, the reason Dr. Rossen sent Chris to her in the first place is because she was obviously NOT a mainstream counselor. For Chris, she was exactly what he needed. On the other hand, for Jim, as you said, hells to the NO. She ISN'T a psychologist which is the first problem with her not being able to handle someone like Jim. In her mind, she was protecting her patient and eliminating the problem. Doesn't make it okay though.

And I would never ignore anything you write. Especially when I literally LOL at your 'NO THANK YOU BAD COUNSELING YOU DUMB HAG' comment. PRICELESS

<3
snitches be crazy: st - bonesshighola on July 15th, 2010 08:46 pm (UTC)
I KNEW IT!!!!

Ok, I'm gonna finish reading now.
snitches be crazy: st - pike/mccoyshighola on July 15th, 2010 09:05 pm (UTC)
Alright so I knew it was the therapist, but holy f*ck! Losing her license is the least of what should happen to her. Really.

And Chris. Wow. He was so completely out of order that I don't see how he could ever possibly salvage any sort of relationship with Jim.

I am disappointed. Profoundly disappointed in the both of them (Elliott and Chris).
(no subject) - mga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shighola on July 16th, 2010 08:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Yes, the good thing is that Chris owns up to when he screws up. And sometimes it may not seem like he's learning from these screw ups, but he is. Slowly. He'll get there. I think. *g*

Hope you have a fabulous weekend out of town. :D
ellie_pierson: Pike/McCoy fly with meellie_pierson on July 15th, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC)
Have you ever been watching two people fight, and one says something to the other and everyone around collectively winces and gasps? Well that was my reaction when Chris told Len "you know how Jim is". If they had been face to face at that point, I do think Len would have slugged him.

I thought the therapist might have had something to do with Jim's behavior, but I didn't think she was quite so heartless in her approach. I hope Len pursues disciplinary action against her.

Chris, Chris, baby, I really love you so much, but you have got to think BEFORE you speak and pull your head out of your ass or you are going to drive Len away, and if you do, Jim is going to be the first person he goes to for comfort. You don't want that do you?

Thanks for the update my loves. Have a good rest of the week.
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:32 pm (UTC)
Awesome analogy about watching two people fight. I do think Len would have possibly slugged him, or at least walked out. Hard to say because he hadn't even heard everything from Jim at that point. I think after he had, he would have been liable to slug him. lol

Poor Chris, he really is trying so hard. He's very lucky Len is so patient, and loves him so much. But I think Len understands in a way that he knows Chris can't changes his ways overnight. And there is progress, despite the setbacks. Let's just hope Len's patience and understanding holds up until he gets there.

Thank you! Have a fabulous weekend! :D
elfsausage: bones-pike-yessirelfsausage on July 15th, 2010 10:33 pm (UTC)
Ha!!! I knew it!!! I was CERTAIN Jim was trying to be all noble & back off & leave Len & Chris alone for their sake. I didn't guess it was because of the evil therapist though.

may she suffer a massive breakout of Bolian fire-warts. Hell yes!!!! The bitch must die!
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:39 pm (UTC)
Isn't that line about the therapist awesome? I LOL everytime I re-read it. My co-writer is so brilliant!

Yes, the therapist started it all. I really don't think it's in Jim's makeup to pull away like that all on his own, especially when he needs Bones so much. But if someone told him he was hurting Bones because of it...and there you go.
Renee M Romero: Pikeeasilymused1956 on July 15th, 2010 10:48 pm (UTC)
WOW! Now I wonder how many other couple/best friend combos that bitch has ruined. 'Cause you KNOW Chris, Len and Jim can't have been the first time she's tampered!

Chris, this jealousy is gonna kill everything you and Len have if you're not careful.

Len and Jim will have to learn to forgive -- even if they can't forget.

Ladies, another beautifully emotional chapter. Thank you.

Renee
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Well, the counselor specializes in 'tough love' or people like Chris who are stubborn and stuck in their ways. Obviously not mainstream counseling which is why she should not have been near Jim. Of course, she was just looking out for her patients best interest. Doesn't make it right though. Stay tuned for what will happen...
(no subject) - easilymused1956 on July 16th, 2010 08:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ivorysilkivorysilk on July 16th, 2010 12:10 am (UTC)
JIM!!!

I want to give him a cookie, can I give him a cookie? And maybe you could find him a seriously pretty smart officer that thinks he's all that? Pretty please?

Also, I was trying not to be pretty pissed at Pike, but I am. I hate that he's kind of ruined his relationship with Jim, who deserved better. I get that he has issues, but I thought he was better than that. Please please make him better than that?

Love that McCoy is giving Jim the support he needs. I love that he's being the big brother Jim needs through all this.

*sniffle*
Jude: st - kirk - smirkmga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:48 pm (UTC)
Of course you can give Jim a cookie! Just make sure there isn't anything he's allergic to in it. That might get Bones a wee bit pissed at you. *g*

Well, read the next couple of parts after this and you can decide if Chris is better than that. I think he is, but then I'm COMPLETELY BIASED.

Thank you!

(no subject) - ivorysilk on July 17th, 2010 01:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mga1999 on July 18th, 2010 04:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ivorysilk on July 18th, 2010 03:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
claudia_nicclaudia_nic on July 16th, 2010 12:14 am (UTC)
Let's hope I won't get my hands on that therapist!

And I just can't get where Chris is coming from here. Why he is so jealous, why he can't see that nothing bad will come from it as long as he leaves it be. Jim's not trying to sabotage them, he's giving it his best to make it work for Len and Chris. And all he does is hurt him in return.

I'm kind of sad now about how he's acting...but I'll just focus my anger on the evil psychiatrist for now.
s t a r l e t: headgirllovefromgirl on July 16th, 2010 04:48 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately, with a shrink like that, who needs inborn jealous tendencies to destroy your marriage? Or something like that.
(no subject) - mga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mga1999 on July 16th, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - claudia_nic on July 16th, 2010 08:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
secretsolitairesecretsolitaire on July 16th, 2010 12:19 am (UTC)
1. YES! My cheesecake of bribery worked! \0/

2. Chris. *headdesk* Come ON. I'm glad Len was melted by his drunken self-pity-party letter because I wasn't so much, LOL. I feel like he spends a lot of his time doing stupid crap and then apologizing afterward, but maybe he could not screw up in the first place? I mean, worrying about what things would look like the press, of all irrelevant things? Sigh. I know he has to consider all that stuff as part of his everyday life, but the man needs to find his relationship mode instead of his captain mode. Hint: This?

I will comm you tonight and we will discuss this.

Is not relationship mode. *shakes head*

3. *cuddles Jim* I had figured out most of those insecurities that were going on, though I didn't trace the problem back to the shrink. It sucks for him to know that Chris has no faith in him, but it must help to know that Bones is so firmly in his corner. Which leads me to...

4. I love how fiercely loyal Bones is when it comes to his friends. There's just not a hint of doubt there.

5. Yay for Jim and Bones staying up half the night talking and being BFF's again. ♥♥♥
Jude: st - kirk/mc coy - hangar baymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 08:11 pm (UTC)
1. CHEESECAKE WAS YUMMY! \o/

2. Yeah, I wasn't melted by his drunk letter either, but if Len was well, Chris is a lucky son of a bitch, that's all I can say. The sad thing is, Chris has been in Starfleet/Captain mode so long, he just utterly fails if he can't step away from what he's doing and think, OKAY, what would a boyfriend/partner/fiancé do? He'll get there. He will. DAMMIT.

3. I'm sure it has to be an immense relief for Jim to get this off his shoulders, and to know, simply KNOW that Bones isn't going to abandon him like everyone else. At least he has that to take the sting of what Chris has done away a bit.

4. One reason why I fell so hard for Reboot!Bones. Not that I don't LOVE TOS!Bones, but reboot, risking everything to get Jim on that ship... *wibbles*

5. Yes, Jim and Bones, BFF. At least THEY are back where they should be. Now if we can just get everyone else to follow.

<3
imachar: Surfer Pike 1imachar on July 16th, 2010 01:18 am (UTC)
Well first of all – that serves me right – I whine about having to wait for the next installment because I’m going to be gone and so I get sent off for two weeks with MAJOR angst….:(

And to join the Greek chorus – fire the bitch. Seriously, who SAYS things like that to someone whose psychological history/state etc. that they don’t know.

And while we’re on the subject of slapped hands – Chris – no more drinking and comming……

All three of them could use a hug right now. But I’m really not happy that Chris is taking all the blame for this (outside of Elliot) to the extent that HE’s completely blaming himself and feeling like shit because of it. He was a bit of a twit for actually voicing his skepticism about Jim’s version of the events to Len – but it’s not an unreasonable position to take. Maybe I’m looking at this from instructor mode – but really bright people can be incredibly manipulative (I know I’m married to one) even if they don’t mean it maliciously, and if anyone has seen that side of Jim, it’d be Chris (let’s face it, with the Kobyashi Maru Jim did something that would have gotten any student in any contemporary university bounced so fast their head would be spinning) and I somehow don’t think that was his first encounter with bending the rules to his own advantage. Now, Chris just shouldn’t have said as much to Len. But even here I have sympathy for him. I still maintain that Len and Jim’s relationship is going to be very hard on ANY relationship that either of them attempts to have with a third person. And Len’s whole rant about Jim’s brilliance really just points up how HUGE his blind spot is regarding Jim. Seriously, there was no luck involved in saving Earth – really? And this is a well established blind-spot (one that Chris is very aware of) given that Len risked everything to get Jim on the Enterprise in the first place, not because he thought he could save them all, but just because he didn't want to leave Jim behind looking pathetic, and thought the rules didn't apply to him (I'm not a fan of egregious rule breaking). Although I guess between his brilliance, his courage and his self-sacrificing nature Jim’s well on his way to sainthood by now (sorry that was bitchy – I’m tired ;P) so he doesn’t really need a hug does he.

Please ladies, let this at least be a little fixed by the time I am back on line – I know I’m biased but I’d really like Chris to get a break sometime...
indusnmindusnm on July 16th, 2010 05:17 pm (UTC)
Hey, hope you don't mind that I'm responding when I'm not the author, but I have to stick my two cents in... I agree that Chris is sympathetic in a lot of ways, and I actually think his knee-jerk reaction was a little understandable because Jim IS a drama queen. But um- you're married so I'm sure you know this: the relationship your SO has with his/her best friend is something you have to navigate very carefully. And understandably- my best friends have been there for me in ways that my ex couldn't be, especially when things were hairy with the ex. So his saying that was incredibly stupid and I'd totally be forgiving of him if that had been a journal entry and not a message. Because things like that ARE going to get you into trouble. Things like that do effectively put Bones in the difficult position of being in the middle of two people he loves, which isn't quite fair.

Sorry to stick my two cents in, feel free to ignore!
(no subject) - mga1999 on July 16th, 2010 08:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - imachar on July 26th, 2010 01:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mga1999 on July 16th, 2010 08:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
sleepygoof8784: McCoy malfunctionsleepygoof8784 on July 16th, 2010 02:56 am (UTC)
*gasps* but, but, but, I mean...but, *stomps foot*

I could hit Chris so hard right now...and maybe Bones a little too. Poor Jim.

But I can't wait to see what happens next. Like seriously on the edge of my seat. In other words, fabulous job ladies!

*glares* But fix it, and soon. Please *pouty face*
Jude: st - pike/mccoymga1999 on July 16th, 2010 08:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you, and don't make that pouty face. It will be okay. Really it will.

Okay, maybe I'm not being entirely truthful on the okay part. But then I guess it depends on your definition of okay. Mine happens to have a WIDE definition. *g* KIDDING

I don't know if something like this is every really truly fixed, but it will get better. Really. :D