Authors: mga1999 and skyblue_reverie
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Pike/McCoy
Word Count: Around 8700
Summary: The correspondence and journals of Chris and Len. It's time for Len to meet the parents! Dun dun DUN.
A/N: From skyblue_reverie: NAKED JELLO WRESTLING. I'm not even kidding. :p mga1999: SHE LIES. THERE IS NO JELLO! There may be some crème though. I make no promises!
Click here for series masterlist with links to all prior parts
Personal Journal of Leonard H. McCoy
Oh dear god, I can't believe the butterflies in my stomach. It's utterly ridiculous for a grown man to feel this nervous.
Backing up. We flew into Florida this morning. I don't think I'll ever feel completely secure in a surface-to-surface shuttle, but at least I can cope with it now without getting stinking drunk. Chris kept up a constant stream of conversation, obviously to keep me distracted, which was sweet, if pretty transparent. It mostly worked. I think I still must've looked awful when we disembarked, though, because he took one look at me and hustled me into a quiet corner to sit down while he took care of getting the rental car.
I was grateful for it until I saw what he'd rented - a hover-convertible. God damn it, those things are flying death traps. I told him so but he only laughed at me and made me get in so he could drive us to our hotel. He wasn't laughing, though, by the time I finished quoting him all the statistics and telling him about the times I've had to pick up the gory pieces -- literally -- when one of those things wrecks. In fact, his knuckles were pretty much white on the steering wheel by the time we got to the hotel. If he thinks twice before he gets one of those things again, I'll consider it a job well done. I do NOT want my first meeting with his parents being in my professional capacity, with me informing them that their son got his fool head smashed in because he had to drive a flashy vehicle.
Come to think of it, though, I'd probably feel more comfortable if I was meeting his parents in my professional capacity. I could meet the Federation President, and if I were in a hospital, wearing scrubs, doing my goddamned job, I wouldn't treat her any different than I'd treat anyone else. It's only in a social situation that I get so damn awkward.
It's idiotic, I know. I mean, they're just people. And they're the people who raised Chris to be the incredible man he is, so how bad could they be? The only thing I've got to remember is not to bring up Terra Prime, not that that'll be difficult since I never talk politics unless forced to. Call them "sir" and "ma'am" - I think my mama'd rise up from the grave and slap me upside the head if I didn't. Shake his father's hand firmly, look him in the eye. Shouldn't be tough -- my intentions are honorable, after all. Well, not entirely, but no way in hell I'm going into that topic. Tell his mama she looks beautiful, even if she looks like an elephant's rear end. Which I'm sure she doesn't, to have a son as gorgeous as Chris. But then, genetics can play some funny tricks. I remember my cousin Titus -- oh good lord. I'm rambling to avoid the topic. IN MY OWN JOURNAL. Somebody shoot me now and put me out of my misery.
Last time I did a meet-the-parents deal was with Joss's parents. Good lord, that was a nightmare. They sniped at each other the whole time, which was goddamned uncomfortable. On top of that, obviously her daddy thought I was nowhere near good enough for his little girl, and the way her mama looked at me still gives me the willies when I think about it. Like she was a lion and I was a nice juicy steak or something. I remember when I told Jim about it, he laughed and said "here's to you, Mrs. Robinson," which I'm sure is some ancient quote that I should know.
The hotel we're staying at is incredibly luxurious. It makes me a bit nervous, actually, because anytime I step outside of the room, there are staff people constantly hovering to ask if I need or want anything, and I swear they're eyeing me like they think I'm going to break a vase or use the wrong fork or something equally horrifying. Chris says he stays at places like this because part of what you're paying for is the guaranteed privacy from reporters and photographers. I get that, I do, but this is his bailiwick, not mine, and I feel pretty damn out of place. He's in his element, though, and it shows. It's sexy as hell, actually.
He's just as at home in a five-star restaurant as he is in the Starfleet Academy mess hall, which is about the least fancy place I can think of. Somehow he never comes across as snobby, though. Arrogant, maybe a little, but that's because he's confident in his abilities, not because he was born into money. And good lord, I've got to confess I find his arrogance hot as hell. There's something about a person being good at what they do and damn well knowing it that gets me every time.
All right, just enough time to grab a shower and make myself look somewhat presentable before we meet his parents for lunch. Chris told me he picked someplace casual so it won't feel quite so much like an inquisition. I've just gotta remember that no matter how much of a fool I make of myself in front of his parents, he's not going to dump me for it. I hope.
Oh lord. I think I might throw up.
Personal Journal of Christopher R. Pike
Well, despite the fact that I was convinced that Len was going to have a heart attack before lunch with my parents, today couldn't have gone any better.
I'll admit, I did have a hard time not laughing at him today. I know he doesn't like shuttles, but I never realized how much. It's a good thing it's such a short flight or I might have run out of topics to talk about to distract him. And his face when he saw what I rented? That time I did laugh, until he went into one of his tirades about accident statistics and a few fairly graphic stories from his days in Atlanta emergency rooms. That stopped the humor in the situation pretty quick, but despite what he thinks, he didn't change my mind about them. I'll just have to work on changing his mind about them before our time here is done.
I think Len is a little uncomfortable with the fact that I got us a penthouse suite at the hotel. I wasn't lying when I told him that I stay at exclusive and expensive hotels for security and control of the press to some extent. But frankly, I like staying at nice places where everything I need is at my beck and call. I'm not sure what Len would think of me if I admitted that to him. It's not like he doesn't know. I'm sure he's done his share of newsnet searches to know that -- well, actually, I take that back. Considering he didn't even know who my family was, he probably doesn't know that much about some of the things from my younger days that were splashed across the news.
I tried to get him to come with me this morning to get a massage, but he refused, muttering something about how the only hands that were ever going to touch him were mine. There was part of me that liked that, but then I started feeling a little guilty for getting one myself. But I needed it, and it's not like it's sexual in any way. And he did arrange for me to have one before, so it's probably just him. I'll have to remember to talk to him about that. When I came back, I swear he'd made a groove in the carpet from all the pacing he did. If I hadn't come back so late, I would have fucked him to calm him down. As it was, we barely made it on time to meet my parents.
I do think it went well. Like I told him before, my mother already loved him because he was a doctor. Why that old adage still holds true in these days and times with her, I don't know. But I know she'd also be happy for me if I was marrying a plumber. She just wants me to be happy, and like she told me when my father and Len took a walk after lunch, she's never seen me happier. And it's true.
I was most relieved that Len and my father hit it off so well. In fact I sat there with my jaw open at one point when they got into a pretty serious discussion about ethics in Starfleet. I was damn proud of how he didn't let my father mow over him with his opinions and he wasn't afraid to disagree and share his own. I know my father was impressed, and my mother simply sat there smiling. I almost wish I'd scheduled more time here now, but at the time I thought a three-day visit was a good introduction in case things didn't go well.
The real test will be tomorrow when he meets my grandmother. She was at her tango lesson today, which is why she didn't join us for lunch. She takes her dancing pretty seriously. God bless her. She's still going strong. I only hope I'm that spry when I'm her age. It's ironic that Len doesn't seem as nervous about meeting her, when she's the one he should really be worried about. Not that it really matters. If they didn't approve, it wouldn't make a difference to me. Sure, it would hurt and not be the best situation for a relationship. I'm just glad that's something I don't have to worry about. I can't wait for him to meet the rest of the family. In fact, I invited Annie to meet us for dinner here at the hotel tonight. The more people Len knows before Friday, the less nervous he'll be, since I know he isn't exactly comfortable at crowded social occasions. I should probably do more to prepare him, because there will be press at the party, but I think he's better off not knowing, to some extent. I know I mentioned it to him in our letters before. I guess I'll just gently remind him and then have a word with my parents sometime tomorrow to make sure the press stay away from him.
Len is swimming laps at the hotel pool right now. I'm supposed to be sleeping, but I'm writing this entry instead. My nerves always show themselves after stressful situations. I was way too wound up to sleep when he left. I thought of joining him in the pool, but if I did, I know I would be too tired for sex tonight. I know he'll say he doesn't care, but I do. I need to be with him. Plus, we have a hot tub that I'm looking forward to spending some time in with him.
Well, writing this has helped get rid of the nerves. I'm feeling a bit tired now, so I think, since we're not meeting Annie until 2000, I'll rest until Len gets back. That will probably keep me out of trouble with him too, although damn his tirades are hot. Might be worth it.
I feel like everything in my life is finally coming together. God, I couldn't be happier.
Personal Journal of Leonard H. McCoy
Meeting Chris's parents went okay. I think. I hope. There weren't any screaming fights or contemptuous glares or frightening lustful looks from people old enough to be my parents. Well, Chris is technically old enough to be my parent, so I guess that'd be people old enough to be my grandparents. Oh dear lord, what a thought.
I know Chris worries about being too old for me, like I'll get sick of him, or one day wake up and suddenly realize "Good god, he's got wrinkles, where's the door?" but that'll never happen. I wish I could make him believe that. I'm more worried that he'll get sick of me. I'm not sophisticated like he is, not socially adept and comfortable in all the situations that he is. Truth is, he could do far better than me. But I do know that no one could love him more or better than I do, and I'm a selfish bastard who wants to keep him for myself, so as long as he's willing to put up with me, I'm sticking around.
Anyway, back to the meeting. His parents weren't exactly what I expected. Chris is one of the most intense people I've ever met. He's completely focused, almost all the time. I assumed that one or both of his parents would be like that too, and that was half of what was making me so nervous. When that intensity is focused on you, it can be damn scary. I remember when I snuck Jim aboard the Enterprise, and Chris - he was Captain Pike to me then, of course - found out about it and said we'd "have words," I swear my whole life flashed before my eyes.
But either his parents aren't like that, or else they were just keeping it under wraps yesterday. His father's an intelligent man - no surprise there - and passionate about what he believes in. He's quieter than I expected, more introverted, until you get him talking about a subject close to his heart. He's obviously ambitious or at least once was, to have gotten to the position he did, when he could have just lived on the family money. But somehow I don't get the sense that he's driven in the same way Chris is. Don't know how to explain it better than that. There was an undercurrent of tension between Chris and his father, though, and good lord did that bring back memories. Seemed like they were both making an effort to bridge the gap, though, which was good to see.
I think I spent more time talking to Chris's father than Chris did, actually. We got to talking a bit about the Prime Directive, and how it affected his work when he was in Starfleet and how it affects my work as a doctor. For the most part I agreed with him, though there were a couple points where we differed. I was getting a little carried away, talking about one of those points, when I happened to glance down at my ring and I saw that it was practically glowing amethyst. I looked at Chris because I couldn't quite believe it, and, well, a casual observer probably wouldn't have noticed anything much, but he was looking just a bit dazed and his pupils were definitely dilated. So I guess it turns him on when I'm being outspoken and opinionated. Never thought I'd find someone who actually enjoys that particular quality of mine, but hell, works out well for both of us, I'd say. I'll have to keep that little tidbit in mind for the future. It was damn hard not to react to it, lean over and kiss him long and hard right in front of his folks. I don't think his father noticed anything, as caught up in our discussion as he was, but his mother definitely did. She had a knowing little smile on her face that thankfully, Chris did not see. She interrupted the discussion between me and his father - which was probably a good idea, seeing as how it was getting a bit heated - by asking about my "unusual" ring and its color-changing properties. I thought I was going to choke on my iced tea. She's got an artist's eye for detail, that's for damn sure. Luckily Chris covered for me with some bland explanation about it being a rare crystal picked up on a faraway planet, which diverted the discussion into safer channels.
Chris's mama is a peach. Smart as a whip, and with charisma to spare. It's easy to see where Chris got his way with people. Both of them have kind of an aura about them, it makes you want to do whatever you can to please them. It's different on her than on him, though - with him, there's a sense of power and authority behind it. He was born to command, there's no doubt about that. On Mrs. Pike - and there's no way I'm calling her Willa, no matter what she said - it's more a sense of openness and comfort. She's easy to talk to, makes you feel accepted. Chris's parents, working together, would be a formidable team. I'm willing to bet that during Mr. Pike's diplomatic career, just as much got done by people informally approaching Mrs. Pike as happened through formal channels. She's just the kind of person that you feel comfortable bringing your troubles to. She obviously dotes on Chris, too. She invariably calls him "Christopher," and whenever she says it, he unconsciously sits up just a little straighter. It would be hilarious except that I found myself doing the same thing when she called me "Leonard."
Physically, Chris favors both of his parents. He's got his father's coloring, but his mother's more delicate, almost impish, facial features. They're all three attractive people, but I think Chris got the best of both worlds. Watching them together is a kick, but I'm not gonna lie, it also hurts a little. Makes me remember my own parents, some of the good times we had. I know Chris loves his folks, but I also know how easy it is to take them for granted. I know I always did with mine until they were gone.
Moving on. Last night we had dinner with Annie at the hotel. She's a sweetheart. It felt like talking to an old friend, especially since she's spent so much time at my place in Georgia. Almost the whole conversation revolved around the house and grounds, and what she'd done to restore them, some of the things she found, and questions she had about the place. She and Chris are obviously good friends, and very comfortable with each other, and that's good to see. They're both as excited as kids at Christmas to get my reaction when I finally see it. We had to promise to vidcomm Annie as soon as I've had the grand tour so she can see my face.
After dinner, Chris and I went back up to our room and made love for hours. Not that it was strenuous or intense the whole time, we just spent time exploring each other, kissing and touching without rushing to orgasm. It was amazing. There's a jacuzzi tub in the suite that we made good use of, and we spent some time telling each other some of the fantasies we'd had during our time apart. God damn, that was hot. Embarrassing, but hot. We've shared fantasies via comm before, but somehow it's more intimate when you're actually looking each other in the eyes, and when you can actually tell how the other person is reacting physically to your words.
I'd go into more detail but we're meeting Chris's grandmother in just a little while and there's no way I'm getting myself all worked up before that.
Better go. More later.
Personal Journal of Christopher R. Pike
Len is writing a journal entry right now so I guess I might as well too. This whole journal thing -- Well, I can't say that I like it. And it seems even weirder that two grown successful men are currently sitting in a hotel room writing at the same time. But I have to admit, reluctantly, when I'm worried or anxious, writing down what's on my mind has been helping.
Dinner with Annie last night was great. It's always good to see her in person instead of via vidcomm. I'm closer to her than anyone else in my family. She was the one to literally keep me going every day after I lost Robin. She walked that road a few years earlier, after her husband was killed on an away mission. I was the one that introduced her to him, was best man at their wedding. She is probably the sole reason that I didn't drink myself to death and resign from Starfleet at the time. She visited me every weekend in the hospital after the Narada too. I owe her so much, but like she's always telling me, she keeps going by being able to do things for others. That's why I knew she was the perfect person to fix up the Georgia homestead. Once Len and I are there, and he decides what else he wants to do, I think I'll put her to work restoring the rest. As much as she was gushing about the house with the simple things she did, I know she'd love to finish renovating it. So I would be able to make two people I love happy in doing so.
After dinner we came back to the room and made use of the hot tub. God, it felt great to be in there. I was pretty worn out, so I wasn't up for much. We must have stayed in there for over an hour. At first we just relaxed, sipping some wine. After a while, the need to touch each other was overwhelming. We were sitting on opposite sides, my feet were on one side next to Len and his next to me. I reached over and pulled one of his feet into my lap. He almost went under and I laughed as he splashed at me. But as soon as my thumb dug into the arch of his foot, he let a moan out that went straight to my cock, and by the time I finished that foot and picked up the other one, he was flushed. I moved my foot over to his lap and found him completely hard.
Five minutes later, he ended up in my lap on the cushioned bench. His hand -- God I love his hands -- wrapped around both our cocks as we kissed, and he slowly, almost tortuously, brought us both to orgasm. I swear, I nearly passed out again from the heat of the water and the way he makes me feel. We probably sat there another fifteen minutes, him still in my lap, just kissing and touching and God -- I'm already dreading letting him go in two weeks. My legs were like rubber when we finally climbed out and took a quick shower. We ended up ordering strawberries, crème, and champagne. We spent the next two hours feeding each other -- God, there was a moment when Len put a huge strawberry halfway in his mouth and then leaned over so I could bite the other half. I ended up with its juice all over my chin and neck and he licked and sucked it all off. Fuck, that was hot. We did that a few more times until we were both a mess. When I was getting pretty tired, I scooped the crème and spread it all over his groin and dick. I then spent the next fifteen minutes licking it off and then sucked him until he came in my mouth. He shuddered, completely falling apart in a way I've never seen him do before. Hot doesn't even begin to describe what he looked like. Needless to say, he actually fell asleep before I did for once.
I woke up this morning not feeling that great, to be honest. I think Len can tell, but he's keeping his mouth shut for now. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. He's watching me like a hawk, especially when I get up and move around -- Because yeah, I'm a little unsteady on my feet today. I may see if my mom's acupuncturist can get me in sometime this afternoon. I know it's simply that -- Well, I've been doing too much the week I've been back. I'm out of shape and still recovering and it's frustrating as hell. I commed Philip about adjusting some of my meds to see if that will help -- just temporarily. I haven't taken a couple of them for the last few days, or, to be honest with myself, for about a week. Yeah, it's probably stupid, but dammit, I want to be able to make love with my boyfriend and not feel exhausted afterwards, needing to rest a day or two before I can again. Hopefully Philip will comm back and come up with something to help for now. I swear to God once I'm back on Exeter I'll do every damn thing I need to be back in tip top shape, but right now -- I need this time with Len more than anything else.
Well, Len just took off to go swim laps at the pool. He asked me to come with him and I declined, telling him I had some Starfleet business to take care of. Not a complete lie, because I will be answering some comms and making several calls after I finish this entry. But if I swam laps with him -- Well, he'd know pretty quickly just how worn out I really am.
I just commed my mom and she was able to get me an appointment this afternoon with her acupuncturist. That's a relief. It's close to their house, so I think I'll just leave Len there, since I know he thinks it's hogwash and would probably tell the poor acupuncturist so, at great length, if he went with me. Besides, that will give him more time to spend with my parents and for him to get used to my grandmother. I want him to feel comfortable with them. I know it has to hurt -- Well, I could see the ache in his eyes yesterday, probably thinking of his own parents. I can't imagine not having mine around. My mom and I talked about that, and hopefully someday, he can think of them as his own. Plus, if I leave Len there, I don't have to be present when they pull out all the holos and videos from my youth that will embarrass the hell out of me. He'll probably enjoy it.
Time to take care of that Starfleet business and then it should be time to head to my parents' house. I'm going to get a kick out of seeing my grandmother and Len together. Something tells me they are going to get on like fire -- Once she puts him through the wringer, that is.
To: Leonard McCoy (firstname.lastname@example.org)
From: James Kirk (email@example.com)
I'm in Bangkok. This is the first time I've checked my comm since I left. Not sure where I'm going yet, just anywhere without people. It's harder than I expected... they even recognize me here. At least on the bike, with a helmet, I can blend into obscurity for the most part.
I saw holos of you and Chris from the wedding. They were splashed all over the newsnets here. It was kind of scary riding through a small village and then getting more into town and seeing your face plastered on a huge screen in city center. You looked good, Bones. You clean up well.
Do me a favor and quit worrying about me. I'm fine. Just enjoy your shore leave with Chris. Your happiness is all that matters to me, Bones.
I'm just about to hit the open road again, and yes, I'm being careful. I promise I won't do anything to interrupt your shore leave.
p.s. The women here are HOT!
Personal Journal of Leonard H. McCoy
I guess technically it's Friday now since it's after midnight. We just a bit ago got back from Chris's parents' place, and now I'm sitting in the hotel bar, which is a dim, swanky place with a live piano player. It's kind of nice. Quiet, and everyone minds their own business.
First, let me get this thing with Jim off my chest. I didn't talk to Chris about it - I don't know why, exactly. Part of me is still worried that he's jealous over my relationship with Jim, and I really don't want to fan those particular flames. Plus - I don't know what it is exactly, but whatever's bothering Jim, it's got to be personal. I don't know that he'd want me dissecting it with Chris. Or maybe I'm just selfish and I want to keep my relationship with Jim a little apart from Chris, and vice versa.
Anyway, Chris is upstairs in the room. I told him I was going for a swim. I wasn't lying -- I did go for a long swim, but I also needed a bit of time to think things through and maybe comm Jim back. This last comm, it worries me, a lot. He didn't even acknowledge anything I said, and that's not like him. And saying that my happiness is all that matters to him, and that he won't do anything to interrupt my shore leave -- he knows damn well, or he should know, that I'm not going to be happy unless I know he's okay, and that he's not a god damned interruption. Something dire is going on in that boy's fool head and I don't know what the hell it is.
Okay, this is going to sound really really idiotic. It sounds idiotic even in my head. But here goes. We've got a code word. Near the beginning of the Academy, one night, we were both a little bit stoned on some Argellian weed that Jim got somewhere. Anyway, it made us both a little more maudlin and sentimental than usual. That evening, we swore our undying friendship, and Jim made up a code word that we could use if either of us needed the other one to be there - no jokes, no posturing, no sarcasm. Not like an emergency - and yeah, we've got a separate code word for that, to alert the other if we're under duress or in a life-threatening situation or whatever. This one was just a word to let the other one know that it's time to cut the bullshit and be serious. And we both swore to honor it. In the five-plus years we've known each other now, I've used it twice, and Jim's used it once. And no, I'm not ready to write about those times. But I'm thinking maybe it's time to comm Jim with that word, see if that cuts through all the crap he's been flinging my way.
My biggest fear is that if I do use the word, and he still doesn't tell me what's going on - well, that'll be the death knell for our friendship. Then I'll know that he doesn't want to keep the pact we made that night. Maybe we were under the influence, but both of us knew what we were doing and that night and our agreement has been the basis for the most rock-solid friendship I've had in my whole damn life. I'm not really sure how I'd get along without it.
Jim keeps his word. I know he does. But I also know that he hates ultimatums. Nothing's more likely to get him to walk away from you than giving him an ultimatum, which is what I'd be doing.
Shit. I hoped the swim would clear my head, but I'm just as muddled as I was before. The thing is, I'm not ready to put our friendship to the test. Not right now. A year ago, six months ago, I would have sworn that nothing could cause Jim to ever break that promise he made to me, but now... I just don't know. And I'm a goddamned coward, because I don't want to know. So I think for now, I'm just going to ignore his latest comm. Give him some time and space. But if by the time we're back on the Enterprise, he hasn't opened up, I'm going to have to man up and call him on his shit. Use the word, and make him either fish or cut bait. God damn it. I hope it doesn't come to that.
All right, well, I've at least made a decision for now. So far, I've been doing okay at keeping the shit with Jim from affecting my mood too much. The last thing I want - the last thing Jim would want - is for our problems to ruin my time with Chris. God, Chris. I love him so goddamned much it scares me. I think I'd do just about anything he wanted me to.
He likes my body. He likes seeing me naked. It took me a while to actually believe that he finds me that attractive, but really, there are physical reactions that can't be faked, or at least not easily and not consistently over a long period of time. So I suppose I've just got to accept that when he says all those things about how gorgeous I am, he really means it. I still feel a bit awkward -- I've always been kind of modest about my body. Not because I think I'm awful-looking -- I don't, I just don't think I'm particularly exceptional. It's because, I don't know, it was instilled in me during my upbringing, or hell, maybe I was just born that way. I feel odd and uncomfortable just letting it all hang out, even with someone I'm intimate with. But the way Chris looks at me when I walk from our bed to the bathroom naked, or when I dry off after a shower and then take care of shaving and brushing my teeth without putting any clothes on, well, it's flattering, to say the least. And I must admit, being so uninhibited around Chris does feel a little bit... I don't know, maybe liberating is the word I want. It feels nice.
Speaking of uninhibited - the other night, when we shared some of our fantasies, that was quite an experience. I think some of the stuff I told Chris shocked him a bit, and I know that the reverse was true. I knew he was a kinky bastard, but damn. I'm kind of impressed, actually. The stuff we were telling each other isn't stuff that we'd necessarily ever really want to do - or at least, I wouldn't necessarily want to - but it's goddamned hot to think and talk about. I told Chris about my exhibitionist fantasies. Fucking him, or being fucked by him, in front of an audience, getting them hot to the point where they'd have to touch themselves, just from watching us. I'm sure there's some psychological explanation about wanting to publicly claim and be claimed, staking territory or whatever. I don't really give a damn. I get hot under the collar thinking about it, and that's enough for me. He seemed to enjoy hearing about it.
His fantasies were more about control and domination, and I'm sure that has psychological roots too, and I'm equally sure that I don't care about those explanations either. He told me that he'd wanted to fuck me hard the morning we left for Georgia. Then he'd make me wear a butt plug for the entire car ride. He decided that a) he wasn't up for the rough fucking that he wanted to give me and b) it would be too hard on me to have to wear the plug for that long car ride and c) he didn't want me to have a plug up my ass when I first saw my restored childhood home. God, I had to laugh at that. He's so fucking sexy, so thoughtful, and so pragmatic at the same time. It's quite a combination. He also mentioned that he'd had a fantasy of taking me to a sex club that he knows of in San Francisco, making me wear a leash and not much else. He'd show me off to everyone there, make me service him however he felt like it, and then as a reward he'd let me come. He'd let everyone look at me, watch me, but no one else but him would be allowed to touch me. I have to admit, that scenario really turned me on.
The next morning, though, I could tell he wasn't feeling 100%. He didn't admit it, of course, and neither of us brought it up, but I don't like to see it. It's a constant conundrum, when to nag him about his health and when to leave it alone. Yeah, I know he's a grown man who doesn't need a full-time nursemaid, but I also know he's liable to neglect his own health if given half a chance. He's also liable to get really pissed off if I ever say anything about it. I don't want to cause conflict with him, especially when we've got so little time together, but what kind of a relationship would we have if I feel like I can't say what's on my mind? Especially with regard to his health, when I'm actually qualified to offer an opinion on that subject. Good lord, I'd forgotten how damn difficult relationships are, how much work, even when two people really love each other.
All right, enough seriousness. I met his grandmother finally. I'd heard so much about her that I was really damn curious. She is a rip. I don't think I've met anyone quite like her before. At first, she was embarrassing the hell out of me with some of the outrageous things she was saying, until I cottoned on that she was doing it on purpose to get a rise out of me. Once I figured that out, I dished it right back and we got on great. She told me some fantastic stories about Chris when he was growing up. Probably some that he would absolutely cringe to hear. I'm definitely going to save those to use as ammunition at the appropriate time. She's an absolute goldmine of blackmail material, so I'm gonna have to make a point to stay on her good side. I also got to hear some more mundane details of Chris's life growing up, and those were just as great. There's nothing about that man that doesn't interest me. God, I've got it bad. I sat with his parents and his grandmother and looked at what must have been hundreds of family holos, while he was at his acupuncture appointment. Willa - and I can't believe I'm calling her that, but she absolutely insists, and she's not the kind of woman that it's easy to say no to - said she'd send me copies of some of them. He was an adorable kid, and a handsome young man, but I think he gets even more attractive with every year that passes. He takes my breath away, sometimes. I'll just look at him and it's like my heart stops and I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to be with him.
Chris's grandmother -- Grandma Kathleen, she said to call her -- got me to admit as much, right in front of Chris's parents. Thank god Chris wasn't there or I think I would've melted into the floor in humiliation. As it was, Chris's father got all gruff and slapped me on the back, and Willa and Grandma Kathleen got misty-eyed and gave me hugs. I kind of feel like the shaggy stray dog who's been adopted. I swear, Starfleet missed out on a prime opportunity by not recruiting Grandma Kathleen as an interrogator. We'd have the Klingons and Romulans falling all over themselves to tell us all their secret plans after five minutes with her.
God damn it, it's almost 0200 already and the bar's looking to close up. I'd better wrap this up. Don't know why I'm down here mooning over Chris anyway, when I could be in our bed, holding him.
Personal Journal of Christopher R. Pike
I'd really like to know why when I'm on vacation, I've been waking up at 0530 in the morning. Shit. I've never been a morning person, and Len and I are going to Palm Beach today to shop, so I was really hoping to sleep in. I thought about going to Miami, but it's twice as long and frankly, I think Len might be a little overwhelmed with that city. Hundreds of years certainly haven't changed that city much. The only thing that has changed is the increasingly open attitude to all sexual orientations and races, both human and alien. It can get pretty wild still. Next trip I will definitely take him, but for now, I think Palm Beach will be fun.
I packed light purposely so I could do some shopping. I don't really have the clothes for the humidity in Georgia. The heat is very different in Mojave. So I thought it would be fun to shop and spoil him a little. I made an appointment with a tailor I know and hopefully Len will let me buy him a suit or two. I have my speech all ready when he balks -- and I know he'll balk, or insist on paying for them. I don't think he quite understands how expensive these suits will be. I can almost picture his eyebrow going up and the tirade that will follow. In fact I'm counting on it.
I heard back from Philip about my medication regimen. Of course his first answer was absolutely not. That every medication was needed in conjunction with the others for me to finish healing. But he knew that I was going to do what I wanted regardless of his opinion, so he compromised and adjusted the dosages some which -- Dammit, that really doesn't help me at all. Not right now when it matters. I've studied them enough and certainly know what they do and are for so I'm just gonna keep doing it my way. He probably knows I will anyway, judging from a second comm he sent me later, where he made me promise to at least keep taking the immunosuppressors. Fuck. I'm not an idiot. I know I can't stop that. There is no fucking way I want what Len developed to be rejected before the genetic bonding is complete.
As for yesterday at my parents' -- I don't think I've ever seen Len turn as many shades of red as when my grandmother got her hands on him. When she yelled across the patio, asking if I was going to take Len to that sex toy shop that I love so much in Miami -- I swear to god I thought he was going to pass out. He turned red and then practically blue, forgetting to breathe. I had to get up and hand him a drink, pat his back and remind him to breathe while giving her a look. Of course inside, I was laughing. And when I told her I'd ordered ahead for our trip, Len nearly choked and then excused himself to the restroom. I did chew her out slightly during the few minutes he was gone. She then grabbed my hand and proclaimed that she loved him and that I'd better marry him immediately before he came to his senses and dumped me. Of course, she timed that part perfectly. Len was just coming out when she said the 'marry him' part, which sent him scurrying right back inside.
I was right, though. Once she was done toying with him, they got on well. Even my father was amused at their antics and he's not a man who laughs and smiles much. It was nice to see. Overall, it was a great day with my parents. I couldn't be happier with how it turned out. I felt so much better, too, after the acupuncture session. We ended up staying for dinner at my parents' since the day went so well, and watched a movie after. I had a chance to talk to my mom about keeping the press off Len and how uncomfortable all of that makes him. She promised to make sure they know he's hands off. It won't stop them from commenting about us and taking pictures, but at least they won't be bombarding him with interview requests.
Len was quiet when we got back to the hotel close to 2300. I'm pretty sure he got a comm from Jim on the way back to the hotel, but he wouldn't admit it. He quickly changed the subject when I brought it up, and I didn't push it. We talked about my parents and grandmother, and I'm relieved that he really seems to like them and was even calling my mother Willa by the end of dinner. He went off to swim laps again, more proof that he was wound up by whatever comm he got -- But I know it was Jim. No one else gets him that way. I soaked in the hot tub and since it was pretty late, I went to bed. I don't even know what time he came back, but it's 0700 and he's still sound asleep.
There's something different about him this shore leave. I can't quite figure it out -- Well, I guess what it comes down to is that he seems a bit more comfortable in our relationship, if that makes sense. Or maybe with himself. I'm sure it's a combination of the therapy he's been doing, and I want to believe that I have something to do with it too. He's more confident. Much more aggressive sexually. It's not like he was ever a prude, because it's certainly true that he does have a filthy mouth. It's just the little things I've noticed. Like not getting into bed in his boxer briefs anymore. He strips completely now and doesn't put the briefs back on before we sleep anymore, either. Before, if he was naked when he woke up, he'd slide his briefs on before walking to the bathroom, and always put them on right out of the shower, before he shaved.
I hope he's just that much more comfortable with me -- with us. That thought makes me incredibly happy. It certainly allays the lingering fears that he's going to tire of me and move on. It also makes me think about making things permanent. That thought doesn't scare me like it always has. I'm just not sure he's ready for that, or, to be honest, if I am either. He's just begun to deal with his past, so I know I have to be patient. Len has always flinched in the past when I've casually mentioned making things 'permanent down the road'. Patience is still, and probably never will be something I'm good at. I take what I want. I have with him, from the beginning, maybe even selfishly. It's probably time to show him that I can wait, just like he did for me. I'm happy with how things are. We've been together almost two years now. I'm still not sure whether to count from when we had our first date that September or when we started writing a little over two years ago. Heck, it's not like I didn't notice him when he was still my doctor on earth before the Enterprise left. Frankly, I was surprised when he started writing me and expressed his interest in me. For one, I didn't think he swung that way since he'd been married. Sure, like I told Len, at one time I might have believed the rumors about him and Jim. But considering how much womanizing Jim did -- and I never saw Jim with a guy other than Len -- I pushed those thoughts away for the most part. Plus, it's not like I kept tabs on Len. My interest in him at the time was only making sure he wasn't a detrimental part of Jim's life. When I found it was the opposite, he mostly fell off my radar. I honestly thought he had been with women at the Academy -- It was a bit shocking when he admitted to me in those early letters that he hadn't been with anyone since his divorce.
God, that reminds me of our second shore leave together. When we finally got our heads out of our asses halfway through and stopped talking and taking it slow, and I got my hands on him. Jesus. It was like no one had ever touched that man before or given him pleasure. I know I've been a selfish lover in the past. Not that my partners didn't enjoy it, but there was something amazing in being able to give him so much pleasure. I will never forget how much he shivered after I jerked him off the first time. Or the look on his face when I deep throated him for the first time. I spent days simply making him come at every opportunity even though I couldn't come myself. And I truly didn't care.
I thought it would change once I could. In some ways it did. I certainly fucked him every chance I got on Milika. Sure, I still jerked him off and sucked him off, but I didn't let him fuck me and he never asked. But after he left, and after we talked more and shared fantasies -- I honestly couldn't wait to have him inside me. As I told him, in the past, except for when I was very young, I have always topped. Never really got off on bottoming much. And since I was never with anyone long enough or who mattered enough once I was older, it was a moot point. I got what I wanted from the people I was with. If they didn't want to bottom, I would find someone who would.
It's weird, in some ways. I have never been this close to being an equal in a relationship, if that makes sense. Not that he thinks we are, with our backgrounds and me being a 'celebrated Admiral,' as he puts it -- But I mean as partners, I guess. I know I have a long way to go. I still catch myself sometimes making unilateral decisions without asking him. I know he says he doesn't mind with most things, but Dr. Elliott has told me time and time again that I have to stop and think of my partner when deciding important things. And since things that are important to me may not be important to him or vice versa, I'm really trying to make sure I have his input on even the most trivial matters. It's not easy though, and I know I'm never really going to change completely, but I don't ever want him to feel like he doesn't have as much say in our relationship, in our life, as I do. I have to admit, feeling like that about someone -- wanting to give them what they need -- it's more satisfying than I could ever have imagined.
Guess I got a bit introspective there. I see that Len is starting to rouse a bit. And since we need to get going, I'm going to go wake him up by sucking his cock and then fucking him. I don't care if I don't feel well. Mind over body. It should be a beautiful day in Palm Beach and I can't wait.
On to Part 25