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28 March 2010 @ 11:59 am
Trek Fic: The Persuasive Powers of James T. Kirk (Kirk/McCoy, R)  
Title: The Persuasive Powers of James T. Kirk
Author: skyblue_reverie
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Kirk/McCoy
Rating: R-ish, for naughty language. No explicit pr0n. Sorry! :(
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Word Count: around 1000
Summary: Jim really wants to top. Does Jim ever not get his way?
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anything whatsoever is purely coincidental.
A/N : This piece of silliness is for sangueuk, who just celebrated a birthday, and who likes Kirk topping. Hope this pleases, bb! And sorry for the belatedness of this, but happy birthday! ETA: I cannot believe I forgot to say - huge thank you to linelenagain for helpful suggestions and butt-kicking. ♥




"Pleeeeeeeease?"

"No."

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE?"

"NO."

"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?"

"Shut up or I'm going to sedate your ass."

"Why don't you sedate yours, since it's the one that's all uptight."

"Great diplomatic tactic to get what you want, Jim - insult your opponent."

"Oh, come on, you know insults are like foreplay for us."

"Insult me all you want, then, but I'm not letting you fuck me."

"Aww, come on. You fuck me all the time!"

"And we both enjoy it, don't we? So what's wrong with doing it that way?"

"I just wanna try it, Bones. Just once. If you hate it, we'll stop and I'll never bring it up again."

"I already know I'll hate it. I have done it before, you know."

"And clearly by someone who had no idea what they were doing, and if I ever run across them, I'm going to kick their ass. But I can make it good for you, Bones! Don't I seem like I'm having a good time when you fuck me?"

"Which brings me back to my original question: if we both like it that way, why mess with a good thing?"

"Bones, don't you ever want to try something new and different? No, wait, don't answer that. How about this: it's the first anniversary of my being awarded command of the Enterprise! And almost to the day, our six-month anniversary. Do it for me?"

"Damn it, Jim, not the puppy eyes. You know I hate that. And the answer is still NO, by the way."

"I... I promise not to do anything reckless on the next away mission."

"Jim, I'm not going to trade sexual favors in return for you doing what you ought to be doing anyway."

"Bones..."

"Oh dear god, Jim, stop with the trembling lower lip. It looks ridiculous."

"Fine. I can see I'm going to have to bring out the big guns."

"I'm quaking in fear."

"You should be. I've got your number, Leonard McCoy."

"This oughta be good."

"Oh, it will be."

"Sophomoric innuendo? That's your 'big gun'?"

"No, that was just a fun side note."

"I'm still waiting for you to bowl me over."

"Bones."

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"Yeah, I know. And?"

"That's it. I love you."

"Oh."

"Now, can I make love to you? Will you let me kiss you again and again, undress you, touch you all over your gorgeous body, slowly spread your legs, and make you feel so good, the way you make me feel? I love you, Bones, and I want to show you how much. Will you let me?"

"....Okay. Fine."

"YES!!!"

"A fist-pump, really? Way to ruin the mood you had going there, Casanova."

"Whatever. You know you love me. And you already agreed, so no taking it back."

"What are we, five?"

"Better not be, not with what I'm planning to do to you all afternoon and all night."

"You had to go there. Anyway, a bit ambitious, aren't you?"

"You just inspire me to new heights, Bones."

"I'll bet. Wait a minute, this wouldn't have anything to do with the hypo of arginine sulfate that went missing from sickbay last week, would it?"

"Oh, is that the one that has the side effect of making a man able to achieve multiple orgasms and erections within a twelve-hour period? No, I wouldn't know anything about that."

"Good lord, Jim. You could have just asked rather than stealing it."

"Would you have said yes?"

"No, of course not!"

"Well, there you go then."

"Jim, those drugs are strong chemicals, you shouldn't mess around with them."

"Will taking one dose this one time cause me any harm?"

"That's not the point."

"Oh? Then what is the point?"

"That... never mind. Just stop stealing supplies from sickbay, all right?"

"Hmm. We seem to be getting sidetracked here. I believe you just said I could fuck you."

"Jim, I'm trying to have a serious - "

"Bones?"

"WHAT?"

"I love you."

"Oh for god's sake. Get over here, you infant. And take your clothes off."

"Now you're talking! Bones?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you love me too?"

"Yeah, yeah, kid. I love you too."




twelve hours later

"Unnnnnnhhhhhhhh."

"Hey Bones, you okay?"

"Mmmmmmmmm-hmmmmmmm."

"Fuck, that was amazing, Bones. Happy anniversary to me. I love being the captain."

"Nnnnnnnnggggghhhhh."

"You're starting to worry me, Bones. You sure you're okay there? Can I get you something? A glass of water? Something to eat? Your portable regen for those bite marks I left all over you?"

"Jim."

"Yeah? Bones? What is it?"

"Shuddup. 'm enjoyin' the afterglow."

"Yeah? So it was all right? You enjoyed it too?"

"Quit fishin' for compliments, idiot. You know I did."

"Told you you would, didn't I? I'm so awesome. I mean, I'm always awesome, but I totally outdid myself this time."

"Brat."

"You loooooove me."

"Never said I didn't. You're still a brat."

"Um, Bones?"

"What?!"

"I, um, seem to be having a little problem here. Well, more like a big, hard problem, actually."

"Shop's closed, Jim. You'll have to deal with it on your own."

"Aw, man, that's just not right."

"You're the one who stole drugs and used them on yourself without medical supervision. It's not gonna kill you, you're just going to be awfully randy for the next few hours."

"Don't you wanna help me out with this?"

"I just did help you out, what, ten times? Eleven? I've done my duty. I'm going to sleep now."

"Awwwww, Bones."

"Already told you the puppy eyes don't work."

"Fine, then I'll just have to go find someone else to help me out with this. I've seen the way my new yeoman looks at me."

"You do, I'll inject you with something so it'll never work again."

"Harsh, Bones."

"The risks of being involved with a doctor."

"Sure you can't help me with this?"

"I'm tired, Jim. You wore me out."

"But, Bones..."

"What?"

"I love you."

"...Goddammit, Jim. Get over here. And stop pumping your fist!"

 
 
How do I feel?: amusedamused
 
 
 
snitches be crazy: roflshighola on March 28th, 2010 07:05 pm (UTC)
LMAO!!!
Sky: [star trek aos] jim & bones hands good gskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 07:12 pm (UTC)
\o/!!

Ahahaha your icon. I love it. :D
this is not a thalia: ST: Bones got any quartersthalialunacy on March 28th, 2010 07:06 pm (UTC)
:snerk:

Well-played. XB

Edited at 2010-03-28 07:07 pm (UTC)
Sky: [star trek aos] jim & bones ponderingskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 07:13 pm (UTC)
Why thank you, bb! *preens*

Oh, your icon is perfect! AWESOME.
(no subject) - claudia_nic on March 28th, 2010 07:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - claudia_nic on March 28th, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thalialunacy on March 28th, 2010 09:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 10:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thalialunacy on March 29th, 2010 01:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Sky: [star trek aos] jim warning labelskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 07:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you bb!! *smish*

Jim is totally an awesome evil blue-eyed manipulator. And Bones loves him that way. :D

...a kind of sweet metaphysical blur...: captainmccoyhitlikehammers on March 28th, 2010 07:38 pm (UTC)
This made me smile, bb :D And can I just tack on a "holy-freaking-WOW!" at you for how prolific you've been of late? I mean... WOW. I wish I were that awesome!
Sky: [star trek aos] karl tongueskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks - I'm glad it made you smile, hon! ♥

As for the productiveness thing - hey, it's easy, just totally neglect everything you're supposed to be doing IRL. :p I saw you posted some smut the other day and I am going to read that soonest. Can't wait!
ramie_k: Star Trek: Bones' propertyramie_k on March 28th, 2010 07:43 pm (UTC)
*snerk* Oh, that Jim: a perpetual five year old trapped in a (hot) man's body! Loved this, bb!!
Sky: [star trek aos] jim bones high maintenanskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 07:49 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha your icon. AWESOME.

Oh, I agree, but I'd add: Jim: maturity of a five-year-old, libido of a sixteen-year-old, trapped in a (hot) man's body. :D

Thank you, bb, so glad you enjoyed! ♥
amine_eyesamine_eyes on March 28th, 2010 07:51 pm (UTC)
"A fist-pump, really? Way to ruin the mood you had going there, Casanova"

"I just did help you out, what, ten times? Eleven? I've done my duty. I'm going to sleep now."


I ♥ your writing so majorly!!! Does epic squeeing moment ... Jim's cockiness, and Bones's sarkiness ...

*would roll on floor laughing my arse off, but then I wouldn't be able to comment!*

WIN :D
Sky: [star trek aos] jim & bones hands good gskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)
Wheeeeeee! Thank you so much for this comment! I have such a huge grin on my face right now.

I love writing these two. The Pike/McCoy epic has been awesome to write and I hope it goes on forever, but it's nice to get back to these two with their immature bickering and bantering. Makes for a nice change of pace. :D

I appreciate your decision to comment rather than roll on the floor laughing your ass off. ;) I ♥ your comments, bb.
rubynye: Enterpriserubynye on March 28th, 2010 07:58 pm (UTC)
Hooray for gloriously suggestive dialogue! *cheers*
Sky: [star trek aos] jim smileskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 08:06 pm (UTC)
*curtseys* thank you, bb! :D
a particularly troubled Romulan: st:xispocklookingupillariy on March 28th, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC)
Hilarious! I laughed a lot. Especially at this line, "A fist-pump, really? Way to ruin the mood you had going there, Casanova." Thank you for sharing. :D
Sky: [star trek aos] bones eyerollskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 08:30 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm so glad you liked that bit. :D I love Bones' cranky exasperation with Jim's antics. (see, e.g., icon)

Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥
sangue: kirkbones by taconacosangueuk on March 28th, 2010 08:31 pm (UTC)
OMG, bb, this fic is amazing! I chuckled and squealed all the way through! I love you, I love top!Jim, I love snarky, capitulating Bones, I love dialogue-fics, I love you, I can’t believe you wrote something for me!

"A fist-pump, really? Way to ruin the mood you had going there, Casanova." lol – so many funny lines and I loved the ending – thank you, bb!

*squishes*

(sorry I didn't comment earlier but I've only just seen this as I've had people round all afternoon!)
Sky: [star trek aos] team jones animatedskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 09:11 pm (UTC)
Aww, bb, I'm so glad you like it. I'm sorry it's not porny - IDK what's wrong with my porn muse right now. She's being all coy, which is not like her at all.

Anyway, of course I wrote something for you, o captain o' mine. You're our fearless leader! Who um, leads us! Fearlessly! Well, and gropes us all the time. ;)

*smish*

NP on the late commenting - it's not nearly as late as this fic is, so no worries at all. ;)
affectinglyaffectingly on March 28th, 2010 08:39 pm (UTC)
LMAO!

ETA:
Argh, stupid LJ posting my comment before I was done with it. (I totally did not hit that button. I SWEAR.)

Anyway, this was really funny and I love the rapid fire dialogue w/o any other narrative. It made it all the more hilarious. :D

Edited at 2010-03-28 08:40 pm (UTC)
Sky: [star trek aos] karl D faceskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 09:13 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, LJ is constantly screwing with me like that too.

Thank you so much for your comment! Glad you enjoyed. Dialog fics are fun to write, and I'm very happy that it worked as a coherent story without narrative. :D
secretsolitaire: ahahahasecretsolitaire on March 28th, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC)
LOL! Jim sure knows his magic words.
Sky: [star trek aos] jim smileskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 09:14 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha which magic words would those be? He knows LOTS, depending on the circumstances... ;)
(Deleted comment)
Sky: [star trek aos] barechested dammit jimskyblue_reverie on March 28th, 2010 10:23 pm (UTC)
Y THANK YOU, BB! I'm so very glad this pleased. :DDDD They really are an awful lot of trouble, aren't they? Luckily they've got each other to annoy. ;)
darkmoon711: Kirk/McCoydarkmoon711 on March 28th, 2010 10:59 pm (UTC)
I love it!!! LMAO! Kirk would totally fist pump!
Sky: [star trek aos] jim smirkskyblue_reverie on March 29th, 2010 02:15 am (UTC)
Thank youuuuu! :D Glad you enjoyed fist-pumping Jim.
smiley_banditsmiley_bandit on March 28th, 2010 11:36 pm (UTC)
hehehehehe. awesome!!!
Sky: [star trek aos] jim back in blackskyblue_reverie on March 29th, 2010 02:15 am (UTC)
Thank you!! :DDD
janice_lester: Bones: he's all heartjanice_lester on March 29th, 2010 12:06 am (UTC)
If this had said "dialogue only" in the header, I probably wouldn't have read it. Which would have been a huge shame, because this is AWESOME and SPECTACULAR and somehow INCREDIBLY IC despite the lack of any description/narration. Keep up the great work!
Sky: [star trek aos] jim warning labelskyblue_reverie on March 29th, 2010 02:19 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! Wow, what an awesome compliment. IC is always my #1 priority, so to hear I got it right is very happy-making. I debated whether to include in the header that it was dialogue-only. But I figured it would scare people away and it wasn't a "warning" in the traditional sense so I could probably get away with not including it. Glad I went that route. ;)