Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Kirk/McCoy
Rating: R-ish, for naughty language. No explicit pr0n. Sorry! :(
Word Count: around 1000
Summary: Jim really wants to top. Does Jim ever not get his way?
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anything whatsoever is purely coincidental.
A/N : This piece of silliness is for sangueuk, who just celebrated a birthday, and who likes Kirk topping. Hope this pleases, bb! And sorry for the belatedness of this, but happy birthday! ETA: I cannot believe I forgot to say - huge thank you to linelenagain for helpful suggestions and butt-kicking. ♥
"Shut up or I'm going to sedate your ass."
"Why don't you sedate yours, since it's the one that's all uptight."
"Great diplomatic tactic to get what you want, Jim - insult your opponent."
"Oh, come on, you know insults are like foreplay for us."
"Insult me all you want, then, but I'm not letting you fuck me."
"Aww, come on. You fuck me all the time!"
"And we both enjoy it, don't we? So what's wrong with doing it that way?"
"I just wanna try it, Bones. Just once. If you hate it, we'll stop and I'll never bring it up again."
"I already know I'll hate it. I have done it before, you know."
"And clearly by someone who had no idea what they were doing, and if I ever run across them, I'm going to kick their ass. But I can make it good for you, Bones! Don't I seem like I'm having a good time when you fuck me?"
"Which brings me back to my original question: if we both like it that way, why mess with a good thing?"
"Bones, don't you ever want to try something new and different? No, wait, don't answer that. How about this: it's the first anniversary of my being awarded command of the Enterprise! And almost to the day, our six-month anniversary. Do it for me?"
"Damn it, Jim, not the puppy eyes. You know I hate that. And the answer is still NO, by the way."
"I... I promise not to do anything reckless on the next away mission."
"Jim, I'm not going to trade sexual favors in return for you doing what you ought to be doing anyway."
"Oh dear god, Jim, stop with the trembling lower lip. It looks ridiculous."
"Fine. I can see I'm going to have to bring out the big guns."
"I'm quaking in fear."
"You should be. I've got your number, Leonard McCoy."
"This oughta be good."
"Oh, it will be."
"Sophomoric innuendo? That's your 'big gun'?"
"No, that was just a fun side note."
"I'm still waiting for you to bowl me over."
"I love you."
"Yeah, I know. And?"
"That's it. I love you."
"Now, can I make love to you? Will you let me kiss you again and again, undress you, touch you all over your gorgeous body, slowly spread your legs, and make you feel so good, the way you make me feel? I love you, Bones, and I want to show you how much. Will you let me?"
"A fist-pump, really? Way to ruin the mood you had going there, Casanova."
"Whatever. You know you love me. And you already agreed, so no taking it back."
"What are we, five?"
"Better not be, not with what I'm planning to do to you all afternoon and all night."
"You had to go there. Anyway, a bit ambitious, aren't you?"
"You just inspire me to new heights, Bones."
"I'll bet. Wait a minute, this wouldn't have anything to do with the hypo of arginine sulfate that went missing from sickbay last week, would it?"
"Oh, is that the one that has the side effect of making a man able to achieve multiple orgasms and erections within a twelve-hour period? No, I wouldn't know anything about that."
"Good lord, Jim. You could have just asked rather than stealing it."
"Would you have said yes?"
"No, of course not!"
"Well, there you go then."
"Jim, those drugs are strong chemicals, you shouldn't mess around with them."
"Will taking one dose this one time cause me any harm?"
"That's not the point."
"Oh? Then what is the point?"
"That... never mind. Just stop stealing supplies from sickbay, all right?"
"Hmm. We seem to be getting sidetracked here. I believe you just said I could fuck you."
"Jim, I'm trying to have a serious - "
"I love you."
"Oh for god's sake. Get over here, you infant. And take your clothes off."
"Now you're talking! Bones?"
"Do you love me too?"
"Yeah, yeah, kid. I love you too."
twelve hours later
"Hey Bones, you okay?"
"Fuck, that was amazing, Bones. Happy anniversary to me. I love being the captain."
"You're starting to worry me, Bones. You sure you're okay there? Can I get you something? A glass of water? Something to eat? Your portable regen for those bite marks I left all over you?"
"Yeah? Bones? What is it?"
"Shuddup. 'm enjoyin' the afterglow."
"Yeah? So it was all right? You enjoyed it too?"
"Quit fishin' for compliments, idiot. You know I did."
"Told you you would, didn't I? I'm so awesome. I mean, I'm always awesome, but I totally outdid myself this time."
"You loooooove me."
"Never said I didn't. You're still a brat."
"I, um, seem to be having a little problem here. Well, more like a big, hard problem, actually."
"Shop's closed, Jim. You'll have to deal with it on your own."
"Aw, man, that's just not right."
"You're the one who stole drugs and used them on yourself without medical supervision. It's not gonna kill you, you're just going to be awfully randy for the next few hours."
"Don't you wanna help me out with this?"
"I just did help you out, what, ten times? Eleven? I've done my duty. I'm going to sleep now."
"Already told you the puppy eyes don't work."
"Fine, then I'll just have to go find someone else to help me out with this. I've seen the way my new yeoman looks at me."
"You do, I'll inject you with something so it'll never work again."
"The risks of being involved with a doctor."
"Sure you can't help me with this?"
"I'm tired, Jim. You wore me out."
"I love you."
"...Goddammit, Jim. Get over here. And stop pumping your fist!"