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03 March 2010 @ 01:19 pm
Karl/Chris RPS: The Disadvantages of Hardwood Floors  
Hi all! This is a fluffy little piece of Karl/Chris RPS written for royal_chandler, for her birthday. Hope it's a great year for you, bb!

Title: The Disadvantages of Hardwood Floors
Author: skyblue_reverie
Fandom & Pairing: Chris Pine/Karl Urban RPS (a.k.a. Urbine)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None.
Word Count: around 1400.
Summary: Fluffy PWP set, oh, a couple years in the future. Ingredients: a blow job, the boys being silly.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anything whatsoever is purely coincidental.
A/N : Thanks to my beloved ennui_blue_lite for the readthrough, and happy happy birthday to royal_chandler!

"Oh, yeah, just like that. You're so good, Karl-Heinz."

Karl stopped what he was doing and glared up at Chris, who was grinning wickedly. "Hey, Christopher Whitelaw, you want this blowjob or not?"

The grin didn't diminish, but Chris didn't make any further smart remarks, so Karl grumbled and got back to work. Clearly he wasn't trying hard enough if Chris was not only coherent, but had enough presence of mind to make fun of Karl's name.

Performing sex acts while on his knees wasn't really his favorite - he was far too old for that shit, and the wooden floor of their apartment was fucking hard. Karl already had creaky joints from all the abuse he'd heaped on them through a lifetime of pushing his physical limits. Christ, he was pathetic. Still, this was fucking uncomfortable, and he'd only done it 'cause Chris had asked him so sweetly - well, okay, Chris had flashed those ridiculous baby blues at him and said "Hey Urban, wanna get on your knees and suck my dick?" but the point stood, he'd only done it for Chris. And now Chris was making fun of him? That was just not on.

One advantage of being the old fart in the relationship was that he had more experience at this than Pine, by far. Hell, he'd been sucking knob while Chris was still in primary school, and wasn't that a disturbing thought. He redoubled his efforts, deep-throating Chris, opening up to allow Chris's cock in as far as he could and then swallowing around it while letting out a low hum. Chris made a high-pitched squeaking noise that he'd never admit to later, but at least he wasn't cracking wise.

Karl looked up at Chris, met his eyes. He knew what a picture he made, on his knees with his mouth stretched wide around Chris's dick, a line of drool escaping out of one side of his mouth. Chris whimpered. That was more like it. One of his hands was cupping Chris's impressively large balls, tugging and rubbing just a little harder than he'd have been comfortable doing, but he knew from extensive prior experience that Chris liked it that way.

His other hand was braced on Chris's hip, for balance, but now Chris was reaching for that hand, threading their fingers together despite the awkward angle. His other hand came up to cradle the back of Karl's head, not pushing. Almost... tentatively petting, or touching just to make sure Karl was really there. There was no trace of mockery in his eyes, now, just tenderness and sheer wonder, and that was what really did Karl in, Chris's genuine awe that Karl would be here, with him. As if Karl wasn't the one who ought to be thanking every deity known to man that Chris would want him, a middle-aged divorcé who regularly made an utter fool of himself in public by doing shit like shoving microphones into his mouth.

Okay, he was getting maudlin and now his knees were really starting to hurt - time to wrap this up. He took his hand off Chris's balls, flicked open his own jeans and tugged his cock out, all the while maintaining eye contact. Chris sucked in a breath. It really was kind of endearing, the way that watching Karl jerk himself got Chris even hotter than having his sac fondled. But hey, it worked out for both of them, so he wasn't complaining.

There was a bit too much friction - he hadn't thought to get the lube before getting on his knees - but that was okay. He'd come under far more adverse conditions than this, and besides, just doing this, servicing Chris, was practically enough to set him off by itself. His hand worked his dick, not teasing, just going for it, hard and fast, pushing himself toward orgasm.

He tightened his fingers where they were threaded through Chris's, moaned a bit at all the sensations coming at him at once. Chris was right on the edge now, and Karl wasn't far behind. He eased Chris's cock out of his throat. Never breaking eye contact, he swiped his tongue around the head of Chris's dick and sucked hard once, then twice. That did it, and Chris gave a final whimper before he squeezed his eyes shut and pulsed into Karl's mouth. Chris's come - hell, any guy's come - was kind of bitter and nasty, but it was Chris's, and so Karl swallowed it down as if it were fine wine.

The sight of Chris's flushed face, his slack jaw, and the feel of his fingers clutching tight at Karl's were the last bits of stimulation Karl needed to push him over the edge and he spurted over his fist, his hips rocking forward helplessly. He fought to keep his eyes open through it all, to memorize every detail so he could replay this as long as he lived.

They were coming down from the high, Karl milking the last drops from himself as well as Chris, squeezing himself gently and sucking the last bit of come from Chris's rapidly deflating cock, when Chris let out a shuddering sigh and spoke.

"What if they hate me, man?" He sounded vulnerable, almost scared. This was the other side of the self-assured persona that Chris projected, and Jesus, was he selfishly glad that he was one of the few who got to see it.

Karl let Chris's cock slip out of his mouth. He looked up at him, put on a look of mock horror. "Fucking hell, Pine, please don't ever mention my children again while I've got your dick in my mouth."

Chris giggled - outright giggled, which was just infeasibly adorable - and the tension was broken. Karl smiled in response, the big one that he knew caused his dimples to show. "Chris, they already love you. You've talked to them on the phone dozens of times now. You might not've met them in person yet, but you already know them and they know you. Relax, it's going to be fine."

Chris took a deep breath and nodded his head, as if he were gearing up for battle. Karl fished a tissue out of his pocket, cleaned himself up as best he could before tucking himself back into his jeans. Then he groaned. Shit, his knees were killing him.

"Need a hand, old man?" Chris asked, his eyes glittering with amusement. Fucking brat. Still, if poking fun at him would relax Chris, he wasn't going to complain. Much. He took the offered hand up, straightening with some difficulty and shaking out his legs while muttering about the ingratitude of boyfriends who'd just had their brains sucked out through their dicks.

Chris, naturally, took the further opportunity to tease him. "Did you just call me your boyfriend?"

Karl glared. "Yeah, I did. You got a problem with that?"

"No, dude, no problem." Chris raised his hands in mock surrender, looking ridiculous with his jeans still around his ankles. Karl chuckled at him and Chris flushed before hastily pulling them up and making himself presentable again. Chris was such a peacock - he couldn't stand looking silly. Karl was working on that. A man had to have a goal, after all.

He pulled Chris into his arms and kissed him thoroughly. Still couldn't quite believe that this was his - that Chris was his. Chris responded enthusiastically, wrapping his arms around Karl's neck, and for a while there were just the quiet wet sounds of two mouths coming together, breaking apart, and then starting over again.

Eventually they wound down and Chris pressed his forehead against Karl's, humming in satisfaction. "That was awesome. Thanks, man."

"You're welcome. Oh, and Pine?"


"If you ever call me Karl-Heinz again, I'm gonna spank your arse."

Chris's eyes sparked. "That a promise?" Then he pushed out of Karl's arms, backed away teasingly. "Catch me if you can, Karl-Heinz." He turned and sprinted for the door, laughing wickedly, and Karl was right behind him, as he always would be.

Where am I?: the comfy couch
How do I feel?: groggygroggy
What do I hear?: Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend
elfsausage: deadkirkelfsausage on March 3rd, 2010 09:38 pm (UTC)
*fans self* Very hot indeed! And lovely dialogue too. Nothing makes me happier than chris & karl rpf!!!
Sky: [star trek aos] chris karl i heart himskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
Why thank you, bb! Very glad I could fulfill the Chris/Karl wanting for you. :D
janice_lester: The bulgejanice_lester on March 3rd, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
You win shiny blue bonus points for "primary school", and "arse", and again for "divorcé" (not for kiwi-picking reasons but because it's an awesome word :-), but you lose one point for "He took his hand off of" (the 'of' is unnecessary, and overuse of 'of' seems to be primarily a North American thing).

Lovely story, very cute and hot and yet with some depth. Rock on!
Sky: [star trek aos] karl sexyfaceskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
Ah! Thank you so much for both the bonus points and the nitpick. I shall change it forthwith. And if you (or anyone else) ever happen(s) to see anything that needs Kiwi-picking, please do not hesitate to let me know! I'm very appreciative.

I'm glad you liked it!

Edited because: Yes, I am that obsessive about grammar.

Edited at 2010-03-04 12:13 am (UTC)
Tour Guide Barbie: smilekinderjedi on March 3rd, 2010 10:18 pm (UTC)
This is lovely - sweet and hot at the same time. ♥
Sky: [star trek aos] karl backseatskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 10:45 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks, bb. I'm glad you enjoyed. ♥
Kay: urbineroyal_chandler on March 3rd, 2010 10:30 pm (UTC)
Oh yay! *\o/* I asbolutely love it!

Very hot! What I adore most is how you capture what Karl feels for Chris <3 I'm glad he reassured Chris about his kids.

Wonderful job! :D
Sky: [star trek aos] karl heartskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 10:46 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm so glad it pleased. These two are a ton of fun to write. So thanks for having a birthday that inspired me to do so! ;)

Thank you for the kind words, hon. Happy b-day. ♥
amine_eyesamine_eyes on March 3rd, 2010 11:00 pm (UTC)
heh heh heh ... sweet and sarky, just like the boys :P

Sky: [star trek aos] chris karl i heart himskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 11:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad it worked for you. :)
this is not a thalia: C/K: MAH BOYSthalialunacy on March 3rd, 2010 11:12 pm (UTC)


aka omfg this was awesome. hot and sweet and well-paced and I will heart it forEVER. EVER. ♥ ♥ ♥ time a zillion
Sky: [star trek aos] chris pine sepiaskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 11:39 pm (UTC)

You are like, the queen of Chris/Karl, so I am humbled and honored by your praise! :DDDDD

I have a sneaking suspicion there will be more. I've got one in progress that is angsty LIEKWOAH.

♥♥♥ to YOU, bb.
(no subject) - thalialunacy on March 6th, 2010 03:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
AQ aka Syredronning: karl_chrissyredronning on March 3rd, 2010 11:31 pm (UTC)
Sweet and hot and a lovely fic to go to bed with *winks****
Sky: [star trek aos] karl D faceskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC)
Why thank you bb! You just enjoy your... peaceful sleep. Yeah, that's it. :DDD
The Hysterical Hystorian: Karl Urban has beautiful handsabigail89 on March 3rd, 2010 11:35 pm (UTC)
AWww, why does everyone think being 37 is old? Cripes, man, just wait until you get to be MY age. Poor Karl.

Lovely. I did like the references to his aching knees, but beyond that it was hot and sweet and lovely relationship between them. Nice!
Sky: [star trek aos] karl thumbskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 11:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, bb, I did not mean to offend or come across as ageist, really! D:

It's more like... IDK - I'm 33 and I know objectively that that's not old at all, but sometimes I feel positively ancient. Especially when I'm hanging out with someone several years my junior. That was what I was trying to get across, and not that 37 (or any other particular age) is old.

I'm a firm believer that you're only as old as you feel, which puts me at about... 13. A really really awkward, dorky 13. :p

I'm glad you enjoyed it, honey. *smish*

Edited at 2010-03-04 12:06 am (UTC)
(no subject) - abigail89 on March 4th, 2010 01:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on March 4th, 2010 03:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
blcwriter: jonesblcwriter on March 3rd, 2010 11:42 pm (UTC)
God. So sweet, the underlying aspects of this. I just adore it.
Sky: [star trek aos] karl braceletskyblue_reverie on March 3rd, 2010 11:51 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you so much! That is high praise indeed, coming from such a fine writer. ♥♥♥
(no subject) - blcwriter on March 4th, 2010 12:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
jlm121jlm121 on March 4th, 2010 12:02 am (UTC)
I love this, I love Karl's internal monologue. I love Karl Heinz and Chris being a smart ass

sexy and fun with still this great long time couple feel to it.
Sky: [star trek aos] karl thumbskyblue_reverie on March 4th, 2010 12:11 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you so much! I'm very glad you enjoyed. For some bizarre reason, I seem to want to write Bones' and Karl's POV when I write Bones/Jim or Karl/Chris. This is particularly difficult in the latter pairing, because I have no real clue what specific words Kiwis might use or not use, so I'm just kind of winging it. :p

Karl-Heinz is such an adorkable name, and really, Chris couldn't pass up the chance to tease him for it. ;)

still this great long time couple feel to it

Thank you so much for that! I'm so glad that that came through.
Jenjem80 on March 4th, 2010 12:57 am (UTC)
How is it that just when I need an urbine fix, the fandom provides? You are awesome, and this? UNF!!!
Sky: [star trek aos] pike-bruceskyblue_reverie on March 4th, 2010 01:12 am (UTC)
The fandom works in mysterious ways, bb. ;) Very glad I could provide your fix, and thanks for the lovely comment! :DDD
drinking rum and writing some: chris karl adorabletherumjournals on March 4th, 2010 01:54 am (UTC)
awwww...this was the sweetest hot blowjob ever :-)
Sky: [star trek aos] chris karl i heart himskyblue_reverie on March 4th, 2010 03:07 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you bb! I'm so glad you thought so. :)
the nonsensical ramblings of a complex mind . . .: chris 2acacia_123 on March 4th, 2010 02:46 am (UTC)
funny and hot!
good job
Sky: [star trek aos] chris karl i heart himskyblue_reverie on March 4th, 2010 03:08 am (UTC)
Why thank you! And as to funny and hot - the same could be said about your icon! :D
secretsolitairesecretsolitaire on March 4th, 2010 05:20 am (UTC)
Perfect sweetness and hotness. ♥
Sky: [star trek aos] chris handskyblue_reverie on March 4th, 2010 06:14 am (UTC)
Thank you bb! I'm very happy you liked. ♥

Edited at 2010-03-04 06:14 am (UTC)
sparrington4mesparrington4me on March 4th, 2010 06:22 am (UTC)
Oh, I love these two and this was awesome. Urbine is hot, hot, hot. My favorite rpf pair. Thanks.
Sky: [star trek aos] karl hand to foreheadskyblue_reverie on March 4th, 2010 12:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I totes agree on the hotness that is Chris/Karl. UNF. :DDD