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13 February 2010 @ 09:04 am
I'm accomplished or something!  
Woo-hoo! Go me! So:

Baby: played with, fed (huge mess omg), bathed, read to, and put down for morning nap. \o/

Laundry: In progress

House: Family room babyproofing done, kitchen cleanup post-baby-feeding done

LJ: Checking my f-list and lurking on the jim_and_bones friending meme, but will start dropping comments soon.

km_anthology pinch hit: coming out way longer than anticipated but nearly done, I think. I hope.

Self: TWO HOURS OF SLEEP OMG. Asher has stopped sleeping through the night. He wakes up every couple of hours and cries. :( Sometimes he gets himself back to sleep without needing me to come soothe him, but even if he does, it wakes me up and I have an incredibly difficult time getting back to sleep. So now I'm wired on caffeine and when that wears off I'll probably have a headache and take a nap. :\

All you moms on my f-list (and any drive-by lurkers): any tips for getting him to sleep through the night? He's seven months old, and until a week or so ago he was regularly sleeping through the night. It's not teething, because we've been through that twice already and this is different. He's not hungry, he's not wet or dirty, he's not too hot or too cold or anything else physical that I can figure out. Maybe it's just developmental - I think this is the age where they start getting separation anxiety? Anyway, it is BREAKING MY HEART to listen to him crying and to try to let him soothe himself back to sleep, and sometimes I give in and then I feel like I am going to get him used to that and I will never sleep again. And I ♥ sleep. Forreals. Argh, what to do? I guess just wait it out, if nothing else.

How do I feel?: bouncycaffeinated
Weeping Naiad: Bridge -- Hopeweepingnaiad on February 13th, 2010 06:16 pm (UTC)
It's likely a couple of things, the beginnings of separation anxiety and the normal, small wakings that occur are lasting longer and he's not able to get himself back to sleep.

I'm not a good one to ask, truthfully. My son was a terrible sleeper. Basically, he slept with/on me so that he could nurse at his leisure because otherwise I never got to sleep. And, I was never good at letting him 'cry it out'. I hated that advice. We didn't evolve with our babies distant from their mothers. It's not natural. Babies were held next to their moms, aunts, sisters until they could walk, so, yeah. Not the best person for advice.

The only thing I can offer is that it does pass. Make sure you sleep when they do (which I was never good at).
Sky: [other] love never failsskyblue_reverie on February 13th, 2010 06:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks - the "it does pass" is always helpful to hear. And yeah, I'm terrible about sleeping when he does. It's like, but that's my fandom/LJ time!!!

I think maybe the thing I have found hardest about motherhood - more than the physical demands of less sleep and chasing around a baby and the rest of it - is the constant sense of guilt and inadequacy. There's so much conflicting advice that no matter what you do, you always feel like you're doing it wrong, or could be doing it better. Or at least I feel that way.

I am trying to let go of that and trust my own instincts, but it is NOT EASY.

I hear you about the crying it out and the evolution of babies near their mothers. I tried cosleeping at the beginning, and I just got no sleep at all. Every time he twitched or snorted or anything, I was wide awake. And with the crying it out, if I can stand it, he usually falls asleep within 15 minutes and is out like a light. Well, he used to do that, anyway. Now it seems like his pattern is changing again. I've heard that too - that every time you get something figured out, your baby changes it. :\

Anyway, thanks for sympathy & advice & your experiences - I always find it helpful to talk to other moms who have been there.
Weeping Naiad: Blue Seahorseweepingnaiad on February 13th, 2010 06:54 pm (UTC)
Our pediatrician said it best. You and no other know your baby. You know what works for him and what doesn't. Do trust your instincts.

And, yeah, they grow so fast, learn, change, that once you get something handled, something knew comes along. Change is constant.

The co-sleeping thing? Hubby couldn't handle it, for the same reason. We had a bed that attached to ours on the side (my side). I learned to sleep through the little stuff. It was very useful. Still pays off when a nightmare frightened nine-year old crawls into bed between us. I don't always notice. :D

You're doing great! Seriously, keeping your humor and perspective is the hardest thing! And, allowing time for yourself is crucial. Not to mention not guilting yourself to death.

Sky: [other] pink poppiesskyblue_reverie on February 13th, 2010 08:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for your encouraging and very gracious reply. I was agonizing over my last comment, thinking "OMG I sound like I'm asking for advice on one hand and complaining about it on the other" and that was NOT my intention. At all. :)

Aww, thanks for saying I'm doing great. You're right - me time is an absolute essential, or I would be a raving crazy woman (well, more than I already am. :p). And letting go of guilt - well, that's a tough one for me, but I am improving. :)

*tons of hugs*
(Deleted comment)
Sky: [other] heart in sandskyblue_reverie on February 13th, 2010 08:02 pm (UTC)
*hugs tight* Thanks, sweetie.

I'm glad you like the header. I came across the photo and I kinda got chills - it was like, YES. THIS. At least, it totally expresses how I feel right now. Tomorrow or next week, who knows?

I'd totally take some of that sleep magic if you had it, but I appreciate the thought anyway. :) You actually haven't seen Asher in a while - at some point we ought to get together while he's around!

Jude: tea - relaxmga1999 on February 13th, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC)
You know, I think I have amnesia from when my kids were little. But I know I was incredibly lucky. Mine were all good sleepers. And when they weren't, I was spoiled as all hell because my husband would get up with them. I do remember my youngest going through major separation anxiety starting around that age. And he would literally 'startle' awake and if he didn't see me or his father, he would completely freak out. It wasn't as bad at night, but naptime was terrible. We solved it by pretty much putting him in the portable playpen and keeping him wherever we were at. He would still wake up, but he would see us and turn over and go back to sleep.

Seriously, that's about all I can recall. I do agree though you just have to trust yourself and never let ANYONE tell you that you are doing something wrong. Of course if you are hanging him by clothspins in the yard, that would be another thing... *g*

I think as a mother you always feel like you haven't done enough no matter what. It does get easier though, so hang in there. Just love him and most of all love yourself and do whatever YOU need to do to get through this phase.

Sky: [other] teaskyblue_reverie on February 13th, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, hon. Gahh, moms are the greatest. So supportive. It sounds cliched, but I really do feel like I'm kind of part of a sisterhood now, being a mom. A very junior member, but still, a member. Moms look out for each other, you know?

You know, maybe a little amnesia is a good thing. I'm sure there are parts of this whole experience that I won't mind forgetting AT ALL. But it's comforting to hear that this separation anxiety thing is not unique to us, anyway.

Hahahaha, I swear I'm not hanging him by clothespins in the yard. Despite his current sleep problems, he is an extremely healthy, happy, good-tempered little boy and an absolute joy.

Thanks for the very sound advice, and especially the encouragement to take care of myself. I tend to put that last sometimes.

As for what I need to get through - tons and tons of Kirk/McCoy fic ought to help a lot. ;)

*hugs lots*
Laura: TOS-ENTERPRISE<3greenteaduck on February 13th, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC)
Awwwwwwww I like the baby updates!<3 Unfortunately I have no tips xD;; I babysit for a one yr old but he's pretty quiet...

Congrats to a productive morning though~!! And here's hoping to hoping he goes back to sleep<3
Sky: [star trek aos] enterpriseskyblue_reverie on February 14th, 2010 12:17 am (UTC)
Thank you! He had a short-ish nap this morning, then lunch, some more playing, and an outing with dad (a computer store, a hardware store, and then to the DunDraCon - geekiness ftw!). We've just put him down for his afternoon nap, so I'll certainly take any sleepy wishes you can send our way. :D
ennui_blue_lite: Random - I'd give you twoennui_blue_lite on February 14th, 2010 07:19 am (UTC)
I know little of the phenomenon that is baby. I do know, however, that my mother and father went through the same thing with my older sister - my mom was so sure that she'd never sleep again. But she did. One day, you will too. I promise.

*luffs you* I wish I had some advice for you. If this nursing thing doesn't work, maybe I could come up and be a live in nanny for a while? :)

Edited at 2010-02-14 07:19 am (UTC)
Sky: [custom] a million storiesskyblue_reverie on February 15th, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
maybe I could come up and be a live in nanny for a while?

DON'T TEASE ME BB. I would take you up on that offer in a HEARTBEAT. *kidnaps you*

wemblee: Kirk in dragwemblee on February 15th, 2010 01:36 am (UTC)
As you know, I know nothing of babies, but I just wanted to comment to tell you that I'm proud of you for doing all that stuff! And the moms commenting hear sound wise! And I know you will learn to make the guilt ease with time. *hugshugshugs*

Here is a really stupid story:

"How long has he been up there?" Uhura asked, inclining her head towards the stage.

"Feels like thirty goddamn years." McCoy had flung himself full-tilt back into alcoholism and was almost enjoying it. "Can't you give him some kind of a nerve pinch or whatever that Vulcan voodoo is?"

"That would result in my being court-martialed." A moment passed. The song kept on going. Spock raised an eyebrow. "However, if this continues, I may risk it."

Seated on the edge of the stage, drunk as hell, hogging the spotlight and not even looking at the karaoke machine, was Jim. "I think it's gonna... be a... long, long time," he sang. Said. Said/sang. Whatever. Why the fuck was he pausing between every word like that? Who the hell knew.

Sky: [other] heart in sandskyblue_reverie on February 15th, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)
Dude, I love this SO HARD. Thank you for this, it totes made me LOLOLOL. Jim sing/saying and pausing OMG. I guess when he gets drunk, AOS!Kirk channels TOS!Kirk. Universes collide! :DDDDDDD Also, your Spock voice is amazing. Also, you need to start posting these things you're writing for me because they are AWESOME.

*hugs you back*

Thanks, bb, for being such a great friend.