Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Kirk/McCoy
Rating: light NC-17? Hard R?
Warnings: More bad!sex CRACK.
Word Count: around 1000
Summary: Jim's schemes never go according to plan. A sequel to this (part 1) and this (part 2). Prolly won't make much sense without having read those, but hey, whatever floats your boat. :)
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anything whatsoever is purely coincidental.
A/N : This little piece of weirdness just keeps going and going and going, like the MFing Energizer Bunny. Thanks to the_dala for the title (totally ganked it from your comment, bb), and as always, thanks and love to ennui_blue_lite for beta, encouragement, and giggles. :D
Bones couldn't quite help the anticipation that swept through him as he pressed the hypo to the side of Jim's neck and listened to the hiss that meant it had deployed.
It must've shown on his face, because after Jim let out his customary yelp he said, "I always knew you got off on that, man." To emphasize his point, he rubbed at the spot on his neck where McCoy had hypoed him and glared accusingly. It only turned Bones on more.
He'd wanted Jim for so goddamn long, for years before they actually got over themselves long enough to confess to each other, and with an increasing intensity in the weeks since then. The hand jobs just weren't enough anymore. And it would be a cold day in hell before Bones let Jim's mouth - and more to the point (pun fully intended), Jim's teeth - anywhere near his dick again. Although he had to admit, he was grudgingly impressed with the progress Jim was making with the set of dildos he'd ordered in graduated sizes. Even if they did come in all colors of the rainbow, which made McCoy wince. Still, Jim had mastered blue already and was working on deep-throating the chartreuse one. Was getting pretty damn close, actually. But no way was he trying out his new skills on Bones until he'd at least mastered the purple one, and Bones couldn't see that happening anytime soon.
Anyway, with his fellatio abilities not quite up to snuff yet, Jim really wanted to take it up the ass, and Bones really wanted to give it to him up the ass. Jim had cooked up a crazy plan involving a hypo of muscle relaxant, and he'd somehow - Bones wasn't sure how these things happened, really - convinced Bones to go along with it.
So now, here they were in Bones' quarters, both naked, both of them - despite Jim's show of petulance over McCoy's heavy-handed hypoing - exceedingly eager. Jim's eyes kept flicking down to Bones' cock, greedy little glances that did good things for both his libido and his ego.
They'd have to wait a few minutes until the muscle relaxant kicked in, but there was no harm in starting the preliminaries now. He reached out for Jim, framed his face with his hands, and kissed the luscious full lips that had featured in so many of his fantasies. The kiss went on and on, and his eyes drifted shut, his hands wandering to take in taut muscle under smooth skin.
And now there was a hand smacking him on the side of the shoulder, repeatedly and insistently. He hummed in irritation and kept up what he was doing. But the whacking didn't stop and so eventually he pulled back, ready to give Jim a piece of his mind.
Except that Jim was turning blue, struggling for air, with his throat swollen to twice its normal size. Oh, good lord. Of course Jim would have a reaction to the standard muscle relaxant used by Starfleet. Of course he would.
The doctor part of his brain took over, and thank god they'd done this in his room, because he kept a med kit here in case he was ever called for an emergency while he was off-duty. In fact... come to think of it, it had been Jim who'd suggested the venue for tonight's activities, and although McCoy had thought nothing of it at the time, it was a bit odd, since they usually met in Jim's quarters. The little shit must have suspected that this might happen.
He jabbed Jim with a hypo of epinephrine, a little harder than necessary, and watched him carefully. The swelling was going down, and Jim was able to gasp in some oxygen through his swollen airways, but it wasn't happening fast enough. Bones hit him with a second dose. Then a third. Finally, the swelling had gone down, Jim could breathe again, and his face had lost that frightening blue tint. Jim lay on his back, gasping and panting as if he'd just run a mile, or as if they'd actually had that mind-blowing sex that was supposed to occur tonight.
Bones scowled as he prepared the dose of antihistamine designed to calm down Jim's hyperactive immune system. Jim raised his hands as if to ward if off. "Hey - " gasp "Bones - " gasp "'m fine now - " gasp "so no need for -" gasp "OW!" as Bones ignored him and punched home the hypo.
"God damn it, Jim!" He gritted out when he could speak again without bellowing the whole ship to pieces around them. "You knew this would happen, didn't you?"
Jim breathed experimentally a few times, grinned when he realized his airways were clear. "Nah, just knowing my luck I figured it was a possibility. But I knew you'd take care of me. So, now that I'm okay again, can we get down to business?"
McCoy boggled at him. Then he forced his face into a semblance of calm.
"Fine, Jim. Turn over onto your stomach." Jim did, the trusting brat, and Bones straddled his thighs.
"Brace yourself, this might hurt a bit."
"Now that's what I'm talking about, Bones!" Jim said with more enthusiasm than good sense.
"Here goes." Then he pressed a final hypo, this one full of sedative, into the side of Jim's neck.
"OW! What was that for?!" Jim cried in betrayal.
"Your body's just been through a major trauma, Jim, you need to sleep it off."
Jim was formulating an indignant response, but before he could give voice to it, he was snoring. Bones looked down moodily at his previously-wilted erection, now springing back to life at the contact with Jim's pert little ass.
He climbed off the kid's back and grabbed the lube. Looked like it was going to be another date night with his trusty right hand. Unbelievable.
...so NOT The End.