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04 June 2007 @ 06:20 pm
Home, Fry/Laurie RPS gift-fic for msliz4857's birfday  
I've written a little birfday gift-fic for the beautiful, talented, and altogether amazing msliz4857. MWAH, my dear - I hope you like it.

Title: Home
Author: Sky Blue Reverie skyblue_reverie
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Stephen Fry/Hugh Laurie
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: Approximately 2800
Summary: Hugh comes home for the summer; sex and moping ensue. Set in present day.
Author's Notes: Written for msliz4857's birthday. Happy birthday, darling - I love you! Invaluable beta-services provided by the talented, generous, and all-around fantabulous Essie, the best beta a girl could ever hope for. Fact and fanon checking provided by the goddess of all things Hugh and Stephen, notatracer.
Disclaimer: I beg Hugh or Stephen to sue me for libel - since truth is an absolute defense, I would get to ask them both under oath whether any of this stuff is true. :p
Feedback: I can has feedback? *pleading eyes*

Hugh steps off the plane, and finally the months of waiting are over. Endless solitary nights, endless days surrounded by flat American accents and perfect American teeth finally melt away. He hurries through the airport, down to the baggage claim where he knows Stephen will be waiting for him. The first sight of him stops Hugh's breath, as always. Their eyes meet, and Hugh thinks, I'm finally home.

They move toward each other and then he is truly home, engulfed in Stephen's arms. It should be awkward, two British men hugging in public, but with Stephen there is never any hesitation, never any holding back, and Hugh relaxes as he feels Stephen's large hands rubbing circles against his back. "Hugh," Stephen murmurs softly into his ear, and it's enough. They've never needed long conversations or flowery declarations of emotion (although Stephen is prone to them and Hugh still blushes furiously whenever Stephen goes into one of his fits of extravagant sentimentality). The embrace goes on far longer than is strictly proper, but neither cares, and neither is willing to let go.

Eventually, they disentangle themselves, and although Stephen's eyes are suspiciously bright, there is a smile on his face as he surveys Hugh. "You look tired, poppet," he says solicitously.

"Just jet lag, I expect," Hugh responds.

"They work you far too hard, dearest. You let them work you too hard," Stephen insists. Hugh rolls his eyes at Stephen's mother-henning, but he knows he's right. He's worn to a thread, and he can't keep up this pace.

"One more year, two at most," he promises - a promise both to himself and to Stephen. He'd taken the role for many reasons, not least of which was feeling that he needed some distance from his life - from Stephen, from Jo, from the image of the gormless, dim-witted sidekick that he'd never been able to escape in England. But he had never expected that it would be so hard, so lonely, that he'd miss it all so much. Still, he's never been one to back out of a commitment, and he'll see this one through at least until his contract is up. Then - then he's coming back to England, to Stephen, and he's never leaving again. He couldn't bear it again, and although Stephen has never said so, he knows that Stephen couldn't bear it either.

They collect his baggage and make their way out to the kerb, where Stephen's car is illegally parked. Although a traffic officer is already filling out a citation, when she sees who the vehicle belongs to, she hesitates, and Stephen hastens to her side to charm her out of writing up the rest of the ticket. Within a few moments she tears it up, and Stephen bestows upon her a grateful smile, causing her to blush like a schoolgirl. Hugh rolls his eyes once again, this time at Stephen's shameless use of his celebrity and glib tongue to get his way, and stows his bags in the boot.

The ride back to the flat is nearly intolerable, the months of waiting finally narrowed down to mere minutes, and the electricity crackles between them as they sit side by side in the car, the intensity of their desire magnified by their proximity. They make desultory conversation, Hugh scolding Stephen for driving on a suspended license, Stephen, as always, airily waving away any possible consequences. But underneath it all is a desperate longing, and as soon as they are safely behind a locked door, they fall upon one another, kissing frantically, hands relearning each other's contours, both of them moaning with want and need. Hugh knows that the guilt, the unspoken recriminations from Jo, the resigned sadness from Stephen will begin later, but he pushes that away, and focuses on the feel of Stephen's lips, his hands, his large body pressed against him. Stephen immediately takes the upper hand, as always, and though Hugh used to resent it, now he welcomes it, relinquishing control, the need to make any decisions, the need to even think, as he submits to Stephen's demands.

Stephen, in a fit of extravagance, had bought this entire block of flats, and Hugh knows that he keeps the flats to either side of this one, and the ones above and below, vacant. It's a buffer zone of privacy that they both rely upon. They are free to moan, to shout each other's names, to fuck until the bed slams against the wall - a freedom they take advantage of as often as possible. Stephen steers them through the flat towards that bed now, neither of them able to wait any longer.

Although in many respects the flat has been preserved intact from their days of living here together - pink toilet, beaded curtain and all - certain touches of luxury have crept in, and one of them is the bed. Hugh has to admit that the new mattress, the expensive memory foam type that Stephen swears by, is worlds better than the lumpy affair that they used to sleep on - well, work, play, fuck, write, eat, drink, and get high on - Hugh thinks sometimes that they didn't sleep at all in those days. At any rate, Stephen presses him down into the mattress now, and Hugh settles back with a sigh. Somehow, without his fully realizing it, Stephen has removed all of their clothing and so it is Stephen's bare skin, soft and warm, pressing against him now, Stephen's hard cock rubbing urgently against his own, and he shudders at the sensation, but Stephen's not ready for the main event so soon - he always was one for drawing out the anticipation to nearly unbearable extremes.

Hugh's nipples, while neither blue nor able to express the phrase "come hump me savagely," have always been extraordinarily sensitive, a fact which Stephen now uses to his advantage, focusing his efforts there with both tongue and fingers, nipping, licking, pinching, twisting, and sucking until Hugh is writhing and moaning uncontrollably. When Stephen draws back he looks unutterably pleased with himself, and Hugh pulls him into a ferocious kiss to wipe the smug look off his face. He parts Stephen's lips roughly with his own, thrusting his tongue into Stephen's mouth, running his fingers through Stephen's thick and ridiculously soft hair, and bucking up against him until Stephen is as wild and frantic as Hugh himself.

So much for Stephen's much-vaunted ability to draw out lovemaking for hours - now Stephen is as desperate for completion as Hugh is, and Hugh hums softly in satisfaction as Stephen hurriedly removes a tube of lubricant from the bedside table, his fingers shaking in his eagerness to remove the cap. Hugh watches, eyes glittering with hunger, as Stephen prepares himself and then tosses the tube and cap to the floor when he's done with them.

Hugh spreads his legs wide in unmistakable invitation, and Stephen pauses for a moment to regard him appreciatively.

"My wanton, whorish boy," Stephen murmurs, and Hugh blushes but doesn't deny it. Stephen moves over Hugh, his slick cock nudging at Hugh's arse, as he leans forward and kisses Hugh, lips and teeth and tongue working together to devour Hugh's mouth, then moving on to his sensitive neck, sucking hard - almost hard enough to leave a mark, but not quite. Hugh moans, and then gasps as Stephen's fingers find his balls, rolling and tugging them gently as he continues his attentions to Hugh's neck.

Then Stephen moves his hand to his own cock, guiding it toward Hugh's opening, and Hugh gasps in earnest when he feels Stephen penetrating him, slowly but inexorably, Stephen's large, thick length forcing him open an inch at a time.

Stephen, who hasn't let any phallic object within miles of his bottom since he lost his virtue as a schoolboy, would be genuinely horrified if he knew how much it hurts Hugh every time they fuck. He'd probably do something silly like insist that they stop. He never could bear to hurt Hugh, even having difficulty with their staged punches when they were filming 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie' (Hugh can't think of the programme without imagining the words in Stephen's voice, bracketed by Stephen's air quotes). But Hugh welcomes the pain - it is all at once a reminder of who is claiming him, and his punishment for his betrayal of those he loves - Jo, for being unfaithful to her with Stephen, and Stephen, for - well, for being unfaithful to him with a succession of women, of whom Jo is only one, not the first nor the last.

Besides, he likes the way it feels. He's always enjoyed a touch of pain with his pleasure.

Or perhaps more than a touch - he groans deeply now as Stephen begins to move in and out, the sensation familiar and yet somehow still always a surprise, as if he's about to lose control of his bowels and explode in orgasm all at the same time. Stephen, ever the considerate lover, pauses and says in a voice slightly strangled by lust, "Everything all right, darling?"

"Yes, fine, don't stop," Hugh manages, thrusting up against Stephen, wanting the sensation to never end, but not knowing how much longer he can take it. For better or worse, he won't have to take it much longer, because, judging by the blissed-out expression on Stephen's face and the rate of his breathing, not to mention the speed and depth of his thrusts, Stephen will be coming in just under two minutes. After this many years, Hugh's pretty much got it down to a science. He shifts slightly, and suddenly Stephen's strokes hit his prostate, causing Hugh to let out a loud "Nnnnngggghhhhaaahhhhh" and lose all track of Stephen's reactions in favour of his own.

They race toward orgasm, moaning, panting, sweating, thrusting frantically against each other. It isn't pretty, but dear God does it feel incredible. Hugh doesn't need any stimulation but this - watching Stephen labour over him, feeling Stephen inside of him, hearing Stephen's harsh breaths interspersed with ridiculous, semi-coherent endearments - and suddenly Hugh's climax hits, taking him by surprise. He gives a wordless cry and his body goes rigid as he shoots his load all over his stomach and chest. Stephen follows a mere moment later, shouting "Hugh!" in a tone that might be wonder or pain, and then releasing deep inside of Hugh's arse in several long spurts - Hugh can feel Stephen's cock twitching and pulsing as he spends himself.

They ride out the aftershocks together, Stephen still buried inside of Hugh as their breathing and heart rates gradually slow, their bodies still throbbing with the aftermath of orgasm. Stephen rests his head in the crook of Hugh's neck, the sweat on Stephen's forehead causing a prickly, uncomfortable sensation against Hugh's skin, but he ignores it, wrapping one leg around Stephen's back and running his fingers through Stephen's hair, then trailing them along the back of his neck. Eventually Stephen's cock softens enough that it slips out of Hugh and they both shudder, Stephen collapsing onto the bed next to Hugh.

For a time, they are silent as they hold each other - neither would admit to cuddling, though Hugh can't really think of another word for it - and Hugh wishes that this, this moment, could go on forever. He knows, though, that it can't, and eventually Stephen pulls away a bit and turns to Hugh, opening his mouth to speak. Hugh tenses reflexively. With Stephen, one is never sure whether to expect embarrassingly sappy post-coital pillow talk, or a vicious argument. He's not sure which is worse.

"So, when is Jo expecting you?" Stephen asks casually, wielding his words like a sharpened rapier, knowing exactly how to draw blood.

Hugh winces, but answers. "Not until tomorrow. I told her my flight departs tonight."

"Mmmm, naughty boy," Stephen replies, his blue eyes flashing approval.

Hugh flushes, an involuntary reaction of pride at Stephen's approval and shame at deceiving his wife. He looks at Stephen, awaiting his next conversational gambit, but Stephen merely raises an eyebrow and gazes back inscrutably. Hugh flops back on the bed with a slightly disgruntled sigh.

There is always something unknowable about Stephen. Despite his constant self-obsessed babbling, he holds some corner back, some part of himself that he won't share with anyone, not even Hugh, who is closer to him than anyone. It drives Hugh mad - it is frustrating and alluring all at the same time. No doubt Stephen is well aware of the fact. Hugh sometimes wonders if Stephen does it to punish him.

He turns back toward Stephen, and suddenly notices that Stephen is tired, worn down too - at least as much as he himself is. Stephen's always done too much, driven himself too hard. He's writing another novel, drafting several screenplays and theatrical adaptations, hosting a quiz programme, doing voice work, and making endless appearances and speeches at everything from his small market town's poetry society to Britain's largest AIDS charity organisation. And now, of course, he's filming a weekly television drama as well.

A line from an old musical pops into Hugh's head - "anything you can do, I can do better" - and although he immediately feels guilty for the thought, he wonders how much truth there is in it, how much Stephen agreed to star in a one-hour television drama to show that whatever Hugh could do, he could do as well. There's always been a certain amount of competition between them - who could come up with the most jokes, the best sketch ideas. But Stephen never knows when to quit, can never acknowledge Hugh as the better man in any shared field of endeavour (music and sport don't count - Stephen takes perverse pride in his hopeless ineptitude at both of those), and frankly it's one of the things that drove Hugh away in the first place. He needs to win sometimes - craves Stephen's approval with a desperate hunger, and, if he's honest, he craves public approval too, public acknowledgement that he is Stephen's equal, and that has always eluded him in the country of his birth. In America, of course, he's a star now, and hardly anyone has even heard of Stephen. It's what he's always secretly wanted, and now that he has it, he finds it's not nearly as satisfying as he thought it would be. Success without Stephen by his side feels empty, hollow, pointless.

Stephen catches him wool-gathering and looks at him with those knowing eyes, as if he can read Hugh's very thoughts. Perhaps he can. Hugh's never been as good at reading Stephen as Stephen is at reading him. And yet, he's never doubted Stephen's love for him - how can he, when he's tested it in every possible way, and it has never faltered once - Stephen has never faltered, never threatened by word or deed to leave Hugh, although God knows Hugh's given him enough reason to, and they've certainly had their share of screaming fights and stony silences over the years.

He fervently thanks a God he's not even sure he believes in that Stephen is willing to go along with this, willing to take what Hugh can give him, even though it's not nearly as much as Stephen deserves or needs.

"I love you, Stephen." The words suddenly come tumbling out of him, as if somehow he needs to say it, and he immediately feels ashamed, both for the display of sentimentality and, paradoxically, for the fact that he doesn't say it nearly often enough.

Stephen, as always, knows exactly what to say, the infuriating bastard. "I know, my petal. I have always known."

He scoots back into Stephen's arms, needing more - yes, damn it, there's only one word for it - needing more cuddling. The moment can't last forever, but for now, Stephen's arms are around him, stroking his back reassuringly, and he is at peace.

He is home. It is enough.

Where am I?: home
How do I feel?: contentcontent
She who adores SFAHL: MsLiz Lilacmsliz4857 on June 5th, 2007 02:03 am (UTC)
Oh my darling! *swoon* What can I possibly say to this wonderful piece of F/L goodness that was written just aspecially for MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!

First off, it is so incredibly bittersweet... their longing and need for each other that has been so clearly denied over the years, always given short shrift due to Hugh's insecurities.

And mmmmmmmmm you can write F/L like no one else, my love. This is teh HAWT! I completely melted when Stephen called Hugh his wanton, whorish boy, and then there's all the nipping and pinching and kissing and stroking and fucking... soo soo sooo good! *iz ded*

I love the scene with Stephen charming the police officer and Hugh being put off a bit by it. Hee! And then his concern over the suspended license. Lovely details!

Without doubt, one of my very favorite parts of the entire fic is the beginning when they are meeting at the airport. You wrote that so sweetly, and Hugh's thoughts of being at home just by being in Stephen's arms are completely meltworthy. *le sigh*

I love this ficcy, my darling, and I love you for writing it. Merci, merci, merci mille fois, ma chère. Tu es très magnifique!

*mwahs and hugs*

Skyskyblue_reverie on June 5th, 2007 02:41 am (UTC)
Awwww, dearest, I am so so so happy that you like this! Yayayayayayayayay! Yes, it was definitely written all for you. :)

Oooh, I killed you! Go me! *twirls* Oh wait, I don't want you to be dead! *revives you* Sorry about that, darling!

Heee, I think Stephen would totally use his celebrity to his advantage, while Hugh seems the retiring type who not only wouldn't do that, he'd think it's downright tacky. Glad you like the details. I figured I might as well put my obsessive reading of any Hugh- or Stephen-related news to good use! :D

Awwwww, I'm glad you like the airport meeting. We'll be having our own airport meeting in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS OMG!!!!!!!!! *bounce bounce bounce*

Thank you again for all your kind words, and once again, the happiest of birthdays to you, my dear. De rien, mon coeur. Tu es magnifique aussi! (Umm, yeah, that prolly sucked, my french is very very rusty - sorry!)

Mwahs and hugs and love back, sweetheart.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Raya D. Sunshine, PhD.nzraya on June 5th, 2007 03:36 am (UTC)
neither would admit to cuddling, though Hugh can't really think of another word for it

Awww. (I bet Stephen could think of several, right off the top of his head! Words of his own invention, even.)

This was lovely. Thank you so much for sharing it!
Sky: [fry & laurie] ampersand tuxesskyblue_reverie on June 5th, 2007 03:39 am (UTC)
Hee! You're totally right about Stephen - he is certainly the master of words, both real and imaginary. :D

Awww, thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate your taking the time to read & comment! :)
ennui_blue_lite: HeresLookingAtHugh_bw mzlizennui_blue_lite on June 5th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
Dear God in Heaven, I may never be a person 100 percent at ease with RPS, but every time I read your take on Stephen and Hugh, I'm blown away.

There's a certain something you allow between these two that you never allowed between Jeeves and Bertie - I want to call it pain, but that's not it, not really. It's weariness. It's regret. It's two people in love with the nostalgia of a relationship that never was - that, in this fic, never could have worked.

That I love how you write Stephen is a given - you've got his voice down like you're chaneling him. But I think I need to tell you how much I love the way you've written Hugh here. He's not all wit and quirk and big blue eyes. He has massive faults, and you show that. Your Hugh comes off like a sort of twisted mirror image of a narsisist - he's set his self standards so high that, even through fame and awards and praise, he still thinks lowly of himself. He's forever failing to live up to his own massive ego.

Does any of that make any sense?

I'm also in love with the way you write Hugh's view on their relationship in light of the affair. God knows that for a Hugh/Stephen fan, the temptation is to forget that Jo exists, or twist the story so that the affair comes off as romantic, and dangerous, and tragic. Not here. You don't let it be that simple. There's all of those things, but you've also given us the guilt, the shame, Hugh's tired resignanation that this is his life - all of the complexities. You don't let us forget that Hugh and Stephen are doing something wrong.

The smut, babe...the smut is hot. You know it's hot. You're, like, the queen of smut writing. But it's also real, and, as you say, not pretty. I love that it hurts Hugh. I love that he wants the pain. I love that I think there's an almost scary amount of truth to that fact.

I could quote the whole fic, so I wont, but here's a few lines I really liked:

Hugh's nipples, while neither blue nor able to express the phrase "come hump me savagely," have always been extraordinarily sensitive, a fact which Stephen now uses to his advantage, focusing his efforts there with both tongue and fingers, nipping, licking, pinching, twisting, and sucking until Hugh is writhing and moaning uncontrollably.

"My wanton, whorish boy," Stephen murmurs, and Hugh blushes but doesn't deny it. (Okay, SO Stephen, and you managed to work in a blushing Hugh. This is why I love you.)

"I love you, Stephen." The words suddenly come tumbling out of him, as if somehow he needs to say it, and he immediately feels ashamed, both for the display of sentimentality and, paradoxically, for the fact that he doesn't say it nearly often enough.

Stephen, as always, knows exactly what to say, the infuriating bastard. "I know, my petal. I have always known." (He doesn't say it back. I love that he doesn't say it back.)

Wonderful work, babe. I love it savagely.

Sky: [fry & laurie] b&w facesskyblue_reverie on June 5th, 2007 05:13 am (UTC)
Awwwwww, babe, I'm overwhelmed by your comment. Thank you so much.

Yep, you're exactly right - Jeeves and Bertie are my happy, fluffy couple, and I don't allow anything painful or upsetting to impinge on their idyllic life. But Hugh and Stephen - those boys are my angsty couple, and I love them to death, as individuals and together, but they are really truly fucked up.

You are so sweet to say so about my channeling Stephen. *blush* I definitely relate a bit more to Stephen in general, but I wanted to explore Hugh as well - he's amazing and talented and funny but yeah, he's a really flawed human being (as are we all, obviously). Assuming that there's any basis in reality for their relationship, I think Hugh is just in such a difficult position. No matter what he does, he's going to hurt someone, but by doing nothing, he hurts everyone.

In future RPS fics, I also want to deal with Stephen's other relationship, but for this fic I was focusing on Hugh and his guilt and shame, and I don't think that Stephen's partner would really play into his feelings that much. But we'll see how that develops as I write it. (Sorry, I know all this squicks you, m'dear.)

I think you're really hit the nail on the head in your analysis of Hugh - I really do think that he sets impossibly high standards for himself and then beats himself up when he fails to meet them. And yes, I agree - that speaks both of narcissism and insecurity. Poor darling.

Heeeee, I'm glad the smut worked. I lurve writing teh smut. :D I tend not to write awkward, messy sex in J/W - again, they are my idealized pair. But Hugh and Stephen - well, it's been too many years for them to really have many missteps and misunderstandings between them, but it definitely can hurt, and be awkward and messy and sticky and such. It's sort of fun to play with both ends of the spectrum.

Awww, thanks for quoting your favorite lines! Heh, I can never manage to write a fic without making Hugh/Bertie blush. Seriously, I think I have a serious fixation with HL blushing. I think he blushes like three times in this fic alone. :P

Wonderful work, babe. I love it savagely.

*swoons* Thank you so so so so so much, darling, for your incredible comment. I adore it, and you!
(no subject) - lone_gunfreak on June 5th, 2007 10:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on June 6th, 2007 02:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Sky: [hugh] top hat smokingskyblue_reverie on June 5th, 2007 02:32 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you so much, my darling! Heh, I'm sorry the disclaimer makes you sick. I prolly will change it out next time anyway. :)

Ohh, hon, your kind words mean so much to me. As you know, this is my first non-pastiche, non-first-person fic, (well, apart from that short House piece that I was never quite happy with - I wonder why whenever I write third person, it wants to come out in present tense?) and it was quite nervewracking to write and post. But I wanted to do it, if for no other reason than to prove to myself that I could, and so I'm really glad that I did it. :)

Hee, thanks for saying it's smoking hot. I seriously can never tell with my own writing, so it's always good to hear that.

Thank you so much for your very sweet comment. Much appreciated, as always, hon. MWAH.
Strictly Ornamental: jwdaasgrrl on June 5th, 2007 08:36 am (UTC)
That was gorgeous. And hot. I particularly liked that Hugh can never tell how Stephen will be after sex - I can imagine he could be all sweet and loving or suddenly vicious. And that Hugh seems to be a little in love with his own pain, which seems to fit in with, well, much of his life really. Awww. How considerate of msliz4857 to have a birthday :)
Sky: [fry & laurie] whisperskyblue_reverie on June 5th, 2007 02:47 pm (UTC)
Yay, I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you so much for the kind words. Heh, yep, I bet Stephen can be highly unpredictable - the whole bipolar thing, plus that just seems like his personality. And definitely Hugh seems to me to be in love with his own pain, poor darling. Those boys are so messed up, and I love them so!

Hee, yes, thank you to msliz for having a birthday! :D And thank you to you for your lovely comment, m'dear.
Fluffy: xander spike dialogueflufshepherd on June 5th, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
This is so fantastic and exactly how I imagine their relationship. You've got the perfect dosages of hot, angst, guilt, love, and comfort. You couldn't have possibly done better, even if you somehow found a way to measure out the percentages of each to put in this. This is just perfect.

And, of course, the sex was very 'guh' worthy.

You = forever win.
Sky: [fry & laurie] legsskyblue_reverie on June 6th, 2007 02:55 am (UTC)
Aww, cupcake buddy, thanks so much! *blush* Your praise, as always, means so much to me. I am really glad that you liked this, especially since both of us are such fans of teh fluff - I know the angst can be tough to take, but with these two it's just unavoidable. :( *pets Hugh and Stephen*

Yayyy for 'guh'! :D

Thank you so much for your comment, m'dear! *hugs*
freak out, far out, in out: Stephenhobbit_feets on June 5th, 2007 06:28 pm (UTC)
My dear, dear woman! You never cease to astound me, truly. This was beautiful; fluffy and funny and awkward and brain-meltingly hot and painful and beautiful and real. That, I think, is the highest praise that one can give a writer of RPS, to say that this feels like it could happen, like it does happen, and not just in the twisted minds of fangirls such as ourselves. I am amazed.

Like yourself, I do tend to relate rather more to Stephen than Hugh, and so it's very interesting to read a fic from his point of view. Just because he does have the most... perverse view of things, I guess- you got that especially in the beginning, with this bit:

he needed some distance from his life - from Stephen, from Jo, from the image of the gormless, dim-witted sidekick that he'd never been able to escape in England. But he had never expected that it would be so hard, so lonely, that he'd miss it all so much

Nothing is ever good enough for Hugh, really, and I think with him there is a constant search for that ridiculously high bar that he sets for himself. Of course, he'll never be able to reach that, and it seemed to me that a part of this fic was him trying to come to terms with that- to say that no, England isn't perfect, and Stephen isn't perfect, but it's as perfect as I'm ever going to get. It's a bittersweet sort of thing, and achingly beautiful.

And of course, all the lovely, quirky little touches of Stephen in there just make me squee like the mad fangirl I am- him charming the officer out of writing her ticket, the 'fit of extravagance' that prompted him to buy an entire row of flats, his worry over Hugh as he arrives. Those were just utterly perfect; very nice indeed.

And, of course, the sex. How could a review go without mention of the gorgeous, lovely sex? Once again, extremely real; I love the fact that you've acknowledged that it's painful and messy and decidedly not pretty, but amazing nonetheless. Because seriously, two middle-aged men having sex is not going to be porno-perfect, and people tend to forget that in fandom. But you've somehow managed to make it real and yet still damned hot. Also- this:

Stephen, who hasn't let any phallic object within miles of his bottom since he lost his virtue as a schoolboy, would be genuinely horrified if he knew how much it hurts Hugh every time they fuck

Brilliant. Positively brilliant. You have such a wonderful way with words, love.

And the ending... I teared up a bit, I did. It's that moment of reality impinging upon the not-so-blissful post-coital state, and it's so painful, really. And just the intensity of the love they share... you can feel it, you really can, and it makes you ache inside. Or at least, it does me.

He fervently thanks a God he's not even sure he believes in that Stephen is willing to go along with this, willing to take what Hugh can give him, even though it's not nearly as much as Stephen deserves or needs.

"I love you, Stephen." The words suddenly come tumbling out of him, as if somehow he
needs to say it, and he immediately feels ashamed, both for the display of sentimentality and, paradoxically, for the fact that he doesn't say it nearly often enough.

Augh!! There's Hugh with his damned self-deprecating again, and one imagines really that Stephen is thinking the exact same thing, because they do need each other so, in all of their beautiful, dysfunctional glory. Mmmph. I love the both of them, I really do.

Also, Stephen called Hugh 'my wanton, whorish boy,' gave me shivers. Absolutely delicious- it's a line I can just hear him saying so perfectly in my head...

All in all, beautiful, amazing fic, and I'm very sorry I went on for so long here- this review must be half as long as the story itself- but I do tend rather more to the loquacious side of things, as you can tell.
Sky: [fry & laurie] b&w facesskyblue_reverie on June 6th, 2007 03:07 am (UTC)
Oooooh, I am totally swooning over your amazing comment! Please, never never apologize for leaving a long review - I absolutely love it! :D

I agree that the highest praise an RPS writer can get is that the story feels real, and I cannot tell you how flattered and honored I am that I achieved that for you.

Yep, I agree on Hugh and his too-high expectations of himself that he can never achieve. Poor thing - he really sets himself up for unhappiness. I do hope, though, that he does come to a place where he's able to accept the imperfection that is life and be content. I really wish that for him.

Yayyyy for fangirlish squeeing over Stephen! Hee, he totally makes me squee too, so I'm happy the little Stephenish touches worked in this. :D

So so very happy you found the sex both realistic and hot. Definitely two middle aged men (or any real people, actually) wouldn't have perfect porno sex, but I'm so glad that it still managed to be hot even in all its imperfection. I guess that really fits with what you were saying about the rest of the piece - learning to be content with life, even though it's not picture-perfect. :)

Awww, hon, I'm so sorry about the tearing up, but I'm really glad it had an emotional impact. And I'm really really glad that you said you can feel the love between them - it just seems so strong to me, so clear, and I'm absolutely thrilled that I got that across. And yes, they absolutely need each other, in addition to loving each other. And I love them tooooooooo! If only they would let the fangirls run their lives, they'd be so much happier! :P

Once again, m'dear, thank you so much for such amazing feedback. It is very very much appreciated, truly. *hugs*
fernum on June 5th, 2007 06:30 pm (UTC)

This was even better than the first one Sky :D
Plus I like the fact how Stephen manages to get Hugh's clothes off "somehow" Hey! you could even say "the man works miracles" Rather like another dear old well dressed, well mannered friend of ours..*wink, nudge, prod, giggle* :P

Off to see another two episodes of QI on the 7th and 8th June so I will tell you all about them (and his Fryness)when I get back. Here I come Stephen! The tattooed idiot is back :D
Sky: [stephen] stubble SF borderskyblue_reverie on June 6th, 2007 03:09 am (UTC)
Aww, thankees! I'm so glad you liked it. :D Hahahaha, yes, there are definitely some similarities between Stephen and Jeeves. ;)

Oooooh, can't wait to hear about the other two eps of QI! Yayyyyyy for more Stephen! Blow him a kiss for me, my dear! :)
(no subject) - clairefry on June 6th, 2007 04:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fernum on June 6th, 2007 10:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clairefry on June 7th, 2007 09:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
fatma: perfectmeepbat on June 5th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
speechless. just completely speechless.

i will come back later to leave real feedback (ie. tell you how amazingly brilliant this was) once i've recovered.
Sky: [stephen] smoking 3skyblue_reverie on June 6th, 2007 03:10 am (UTC)
Yayyyyy for speechlessness! *is proud*

I'll eagerly look forward to your further comments. In the meantime, thankees for this one! :D
PumpkinClaireclairefry on June 6th, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC)
I have to admit that normally I'm not a fan of Stephen/Hugh RPS, dunno why but for some reason it has the same feeling as *whispers* having sex with someone without really wanting to just for the sake of it (ahem) but I was drawn into this as I adore your writing! I absolutely loved the story and whilst I'm not totally converted (there's still a hint of unfulfilment there :-( ) I did get all shivvery and believe that I love our chaps just that little bit more! I shall certainly go back and read a second time!x

Thank-you very much for sharing this with us all! xx
Sky: [stephen] armskyblue_reverie on June 7th, 2007 01:46 am (UTC)
Awww, hon, thank you for giving this a chance even though you don't normally read Stephen/Hugh RPS. I'm so glad you liked this story! Yes, definitely there's a hint of unfulfillment here - these boys are my angsty couple, whereas J/W are my happy couple. Yayyyy for being shivery and loving our boys even more! And yay for re-reading! Wheeeee!

Aww, you're welcome for sharing, and thank you for your lovely comment!

fernum on June 9th, 2007 11:48 am (UTC)
Ok Sky I'm back home and my goodness do I have another story for you. ^^

On the night of the 7th I was sitting in the front row and was spotted by Stephen when he walked onto set and he made me stand up again to show the audience my tattoo,

Stephen: "Ladies and Gentlemen we have a young lady here who is such a fan of the show she has got a QI tattoo, stand up and show them will you please?"
Me: *Stands up and turns to face the audience*
Stephen: "Your name is Mandibles isn't it?"
Me: "Yes I'm surprised you don't recognize it Stephen, Sean Lock claimed that was your nickname in an earlier series"
Stephen: "Oh so he did! yes Mandibles Fry I remember.."

One of the guests (I won't say whom) once he was seated went,

Guest:"A QI tattoo did you say Stephen?"
Stephen: "Yes the young lady in the front row there, yes the one who's waving- Hello Mandibles :P"
Me: *waving like an idiot*
Guest: "Is it real?"
Me: "Yep"

The night of the 8th.

My tattoo was spotted by one of the guests but nothing was said about it, he just sort of did a double take at me when he glanced in my direction ( I was in the front row again). Once the recording was done - one of the production crew came over and I gave him my copy of "The Star's Tennis Balls" He vanished behind the set and came back out again after a while. I flipped the book open and it read,

"For darling Mandibles,
with love as ever
Stephen Fry XX"

Yes TWO kisses!! *Squee* I was extremely happy and really can't describe it properly but I hope I've given you an idea of how it went. ^^

Your affectionate Mandibles x
Sky: [stephen] top hatskyblue_reverie on June 9th, 2007 03:41 pm (UTC)
OMG this is like the AWESOMEST thing I have ever heard. You ROCK!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love your new icon, btw! :D

That is sooooooooooooooo exciting! You met Stephen again, and he remembered you! And he gave you love and kisses!!!!! *dies and dies*

I can imagine that you are just over the moon right now. That is absolutely incredible. GO YOU!!!!

Thank you so much for sharing this story with me! *hugs*

p.s. I notice you've got one of my friend msliz4857's icons, the "Mr Fry will see you now" one - do you mind terribly just adding a comment to the userpic that mentions that she made it? Thanks, darling!
(no subject) - fernum on June 9th, 2007 11:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on June 11th, 2007 06:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fernum on June 11th, 2007 12:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
silsbee329 on July 21st, 2007 02:17 am (UTC)
This is wonderful.

needing more - yes, damn it, there's only one word for it - needing more cuddling
Awww! So sweet...

and there is more HOT here than can be mentioned!
They are free to moan, to shout each other's names, to fuck until the bed slams against the wall
Seriously? GUH!!

I love that you also went into the competitive side of their relationship, and brought it back to how all of this might be making Hugh feel:
Success without Stephen by his side feels empty, hollow, pointless.
I can imagine that to be absolutely true.

Sky: [stephen] smoking 3skyblue_reverie on July 21st, 2007 02:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this. The sweet and the hot just come easy with these two. :)

Thank you especially for saying that it feels that it could be true, how Hugh is feeling, because that's the highest compliment an RPS writer could receive, really. I'm so happy that it felt real to you.


p.s. iconlove!
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Sky: [fry & laurie] ampersand tuxesskyblue_reverie on August 15th, 2007 02:34 am (UTC)
My dear, thank you so much for your amazingly kind words. Really, you have no idea how much it means to me. I'm blushing and grinning here! I really hope RL lets up soon too so I can do a little more writing.

I don't mind friending at all, and shall friend you back forthwith!
Janette: quote it like it ispotatofiend on September 17th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)
I was just flicking through Indeedsir entries on my friendslist, thinking, "Hmm...I want a Skyfic." So, I trundled over here, and - lo! I have not commented on this fic!

I remember reading it when you first posted it, in the computer room at college; I thought I had commented, but I presume I must have been in a rush or something, since evidently I didn't say anything at the time. Therefore, I am leaving my comment now, as is only fair:

I loved this fic. You, m'lady, are one of my very favourite writers; I always get a gleeful little twist to my stomach when I see something new from you, and this did not disappoint. As so many other people have said before me and said better, I love the realness of this - the rawness, that visceral sense to it, the way the sex hurts and the guilt can't always be shrugged off. You manage that, and meanwhile the writing itself is still so beautifully-spun - it doesn't suffer from that Raw And Edgy choppiness that writers so often go for, because it's the only way they think they can convey a sense of Real Life. You write Hugh and Stephen as perfectly as Jeeves and Wooster.

Fantastic fic from a fantastic ficcer, in short. :D
Sky: [fry & laurie] b&w facesskyblue_reverie on September 18th, 2007 02:51 am (UTC)
Awww, hon, thank you so much for all your kind words! Hee, it thrills me that someone could be in the mood for one of my fics and go seeking one out! :D

You are sweet to comment even though it's been a while. I muchly appreciate it - for some reason my RPS didn't garner many comments which seriously depressed me. (I'm such a feedback whore. :p)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it - this was quite a departure for me - I don't usually write angst, and I don't usually write in "my own" voice - I was previously always writing pastiche of someone else's voice, so this was particularly nerve-wracking to write and post. Ha, I totally know what you mean about Raw and Edgy. I don't think I'd be able to achieve that if I tried, so, y'know... I don't try. ;)

Once again, thank you SO much for such lovely commentage. *hugs*

p.s. perfect icon! :D
(no subject) - potatofiend on September 18th, 2007 06:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skyblue_reverie on September 19th, 2007 01:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - potatofiend on September 19th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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Sky: [fry & laurie] obvious loveskyblue_reverie on February 3rd, 2008 04:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for the comment - I'm so glad you enjoyed! I've never read bandslash, but yeah, I can imagine it's a bit different. :)

Hee, I could definitely see that sometimes it would be Stephen with the post-coital depression and need for snuggles. Both of those boys are so messed up - which, of course, is why I love them. ;)

Thanks again for the lovely feedback!